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My Mom passed away and I'm so lonely.


Astral Projection

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Astral Projection

It's been 6 days since my Mom died. The pain is too much to bear. It makes it even worse because I was living with her for 13 years. When I woke up. I walked into her room and saw her laying on the floor in her room. I thought she was in a deep sleep. Then I realized she was limp and cold. Then I panicked. I scrambled for help and the EMT immediately came to her room. They did everything they could. It was too late. She was dead for hours. My youngest sister took it the hardest. We are still crushed by the painful sorrow of her passing. At the same time. I'm mentally scarred for witnessing the first dead body I have encountered. Which was also my Mom. I can't grasp to the fabric of reality. She's gone forever and now I'm all alone. She was the only person that made my life meaningful and happy. Now that she's gone. I don't look forward into going in that empty apartment that we used to be in together. She died at the age of 55. My mom had no health problems after the cancer was removed from her from 2002 until recently. She was perfectly fine the day before her death. Now everytime I watch TV or listen to music. I end up having a gut wrenching sadness and empty void in my soul. What should I do? 

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Dear Astral,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is an extremely difficult time and all I can say is please be kind and gentle with yourself. Take it moment by moment. Try and surround yourself with loving friends and family. If you want maybe consider grief counselling or joining a support group.

Sending you love and hugs. Thinking of you and your sister. We are all here for you.

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Astral Projection
9 hours ago, reader said:

Dear Astral,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. This is an extremely difficult time and all I can say is please be kind and gentle with yourself. Take it moment by moment. Try and surround yourself with loving friends and family. If you want maybe consider grief counselling or joining a support group.

Sending you love and hugs. Thinking of you and your sister. We are all here for you.

Thank you for your condolences. The only person I can spend time with is my Dad. Everyone else lives too far away. Also my Dad has problems comprehending emotions. He usually gets more angry. Especially when his Ex Wife died (my Mom). I could spend more time with my younger sister. She lives nearby. Although she has unstable emotions. Maybe I could spend time with my oldest sister. Although she's always busy. Now I see why Mom's death hit me really hard. I have no one that I know to share my grief with. 

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Dear Astral,

I'm so sorry, I know its really hard right now. Please know you can share your emotions with us. We are all here to listen and support each other. There are also some other online grief forums and Facebook groups for grief that also offer support.

I felt as you do and felt like my siblings could not support me during my grief.  And since my parents' divorce I could not count on the other parent as well.

Another option might be MeetUp group for grief if there is one in your area. I know Grief Share is a program offered through church.

Keep writing and letting us know how are you are doing.  Please know you are not alone. Thinking of you.

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16 hours ago, Astral Projection said:

Thank you for your condolences. The only person I can spend time with is my Dad. Everyone else lives too far away. Also my Dad has problems comprehending emotions. He usually gets more angry. Especially when his Ex Wife died (my Mom). I could spend more time with my younger sister. She lives nearby. Although she has unstable emotions. Maybe I could spend time with my oldest sister. Although she's always busy. Now I see why Mom's death hit me really hard. I have no one that I know to share my grief with. 

Nows a really good time to reconnect with your sisters, be open and honest they might be wanting to reach out to you too... Xxx

 

I'm just looking around after posting about losing my dad... It's awful isn't it... maybe try and think... what would your mum say? Xxx

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Astral Projection
20 hours ago, Dadsdeb said:

Nows a really good time to reconnect with your sisters, be open and honest they might be wanting to reach out to you too... Xxx

 

I'm just looking around after posting about losing my dad... It's awful isn't it... maybe try and think... what would your mum say? Xxx

What makes me distraught the most about this is the surreal feeling about this loss. It was sudden. She died of Deep Vain Thrombosis. This wasn't even hereditary. It just happened that morning with little warning. She was as healthy as a horse the night before. Every time I think about what happened. I just lose control and I'm overwhelmed with sadness. I can reconnect with my oldest sister. Although it's not going to be easy to connect with my youngest sister. Forget about my Dad. He only cares about education and money. That's part of the reason why my Mom divorced my Dad. Anyway. I read that coping with sudden death is far more difficult than coping with an anticipated death. Obviously the grief is the same. Grief is Grief. It's just coping which is more difficult. It was something that makes me feel helpless. My sense of security is completely gone. Now I'm afraid of this world I'm bounded on. I sometimes wish I could go back in time to prevent it. Or at least spend more time with my Mom. 

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Astral Projection

I found out something horrible. My Mom's Death was preventable. Her DVT was diagnosed in November 2017. The doctor could have prescribed her blood thinners. So then the blood clots would have broken up. This makes me feel terrible. I didn't bother to find out about that. Although this means it's probably the doctor's fault. 

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Dear Astral,

I'm so sorry to hear this additional news. I know how desperately we all want our parents still to be here. I feel as you do that my dad's passing was preventable.

I know its really hard. Please know we are here with you.

Thinking of you.

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Astral Projection

I just can't deal with my 30 year old sister anymore. She has PTSD. It's really bad. Now she's living with her sister (best friend). I've dealt with her emotional issues for at least 10 years. I couldn't do it anymore. I'm glad she's not going to live near me anymore. Now the healing process can truly begin. 

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Dear Astral,

Thank you for keeping us posted. I know grief is hard and dealing with family members is never easy to begin with.

I hope you find peace, my friend.

Thinking of you.

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