Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Two months later


Jenn4

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Two months later.

The days continue on and everyday I wake up and for a split second forget my new reality. Some days are good... the good days are the days that I’m so busy I don’t have time to think about what has happened. The bad days... when I sit alone on the couch with nothing to watch on the television and my mind wanders. It wanders to the what if’s, the could have beens and then the reality of being alone comes to hit me fast and hard. 

Sometimes the days go by so fast that my mind can’t comprehend the fact I haven’t spoken to him in two months. Two months ago my life changed for the worse and my life was turned upside down. Two months that feel both like an eternity and a split second at the same time. 

Not much has changed, except I don’t cry all the time and I am better at hiding my pain internally. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

We are in the exact same place. Today was a really hard day for me...I haven't cried as much but then my dad got into a short disagreement with me about something trivial and it made me really bawl over his passing. I thought I was dealing well but really I was just bottling it up.

I miss him so much - why am I here? Why did we have to stay behind ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
16 hours ago, Jenn4 said:

Two months that feel both like an eternity and a split second at the same time.

It's weird how it feels like a time warp...only someone who has been through this can understand...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
On 1/22/2018 at 4:54 AM, KayC said:

It's weird how it feels like a time warp...only someone who has been through this can understand...

TIme warp--that is a good analogy. Everything feels "off"--like I'm living behind a screen or veil--and then something happens or someone says something that just shakes me to the core. I have never been this long without him, without conversation or touch. When I go back and look at emails or the calendar, everything seems tainted or informed in some terrible way--"in a month he will be gone," "When he wrote this he had three weeks to live," and looking back, even what we thought was a bad day was beautiful because we were still together and he was still here. I feel like I'm in the wrong line...I keep wanting to find the person in charge, and get this mistake cleared up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
57 minutes ago, Michelene said:

When I go back and look at emails or the calendar, everything seems tainted or informed in some terrible way--"in a month he will be gone," "When he wrote this he had three weeks to live," and looking back, even what we thought was a bad day was beautiful because we were still together and he was still here. 

I count days now as... it’s been so and so days/months since...

Its hard. Thinking back I wish all the arguments that have happened ..didn’t. Or the times I said something mean... I didn’t. Bad days and arguments... I still do cherish those moments because he was there... 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

You're right, I also cherish each and every bit of time we had together, I didn't know it would be so fleeting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.