I want my cat back...

[Pudge'sMom]

I want my little boy back. I feel like I'm two years old instead of 21 because I keep crying and complaining that he's not here. Every time I come home a little part of me expects that he's going to be there but I'm always so disappointed. One of my neighbors that I don't get to see often asked me how he was and I had to excuse myself to go cry for an hour. How is he doing? I have no idea. I miss him so much, and I just can't believe he's gone. I seriously wish that these past two months didn't happen and that this was all a dream. How can he be gone? My little ray of sunshine and happiness. I wish I could hold him just one more time. I'm sure everyone says that. It's just so hard not to have him here to lay down on my arm/hand or rub his face all over mine when I'm sleeping. He loved me so much but now he's gone, and I am alone.  

[Guest]

Pudge'smom I'm so sorry, the pain is just the worst thing every.  It's all the little everyday things we miss, the things we took forgranted and yet meant so so much.  I wish I could take the pain away but there is no magic cure for this, it's a sign of the deep love we feel for our furbabies and is hard to comprehend.  I'm so sorry.

[AJWCat]

I know how you feel. Grief though has nothing to do with age (I am twice your age and felt just as awful!). So don't feel like you are being a baby... I sobbed... I also "pouted" inside... I was so mad that my cat was taken so suddenly and in a horrible way. He did not deserve it. 

How sweet that your neighbor asked about him. I know it was hard, but just to think someone cares. 

You had a tremendous loss, be as kind to yourself as you can. I am so sorry for your loss, it is an experience you are never ready for and more heartbreaking than you can imagine. 

 

[KayC]

I'm so sorry, I know the pain too well, I've lost so many over the years...I'm 65 and I've had cats and dogs all my life.  Losing them is so hard, especially the ones you've been closest to and related to.  It is hard to understand how someone can be so vibrant and then just gone.  I felt that way when my husband died.  So often I've wished for just one more day, I'd settle for even five minutes.  But the powers that be don't bargain.  I have to settle for waiting for my time to be with them again.  It helps when time has dulled the ache inside just a bit.  (((hugs)))

[MyMocha]

I am so sorry you are hurting. Me too. I can't stop thiking about her and what happend. As I am not religious or even spiritual I know nothing can heal my thoughts and heart but time. I still break down unexpectedly and am just going to let it out until it fades. We loved our furry companions and they knew us like no other. They never judged or criticized, just loved. So it is hard to lose something so special. Thinking of you, hugs.

[Maria9]

@Pudge'sMom I think in the face of loss we all become like children, no matter what our age is. Because our hearts have been broken to pieces. A creature that we loved so much has been taken from us and we cannot get him/her back. It is so irrational, so unfair, so unacceptable. I really don't know if we ever fully accept it. Through your every word I feel your pain and my heart breaks for you. Yes, what we wouldn't give to hold them, touch them one more time....I don't know what else to say to you, except that I understand ,oh so well...Though the missing will always be there, I hope your pain will soften as time goes by.(((Hugs))

[Emmaloux20xx]

Hi,

I am sorry for your loss  of your beloved cat and what you are going through, I am myself going through something similar at the moment.I lost my cat Henry just a few days before christmas. I knew it was coming but it was still a shock when it happened. I myself cannot believe he is not here anymore and am finding it hard to accept he has gone. I keep hoping I am going to wake up and realise it was all a horrible dream. I feel like a zombie at the moment, like I am going through the motions but that I am not really here. I would give anything to hold him once more but then I would never want to let him go. 

I cannot offer much in the way of comfort except that I know and relate to what you are going through.

[KayC]

@Emmaloux20xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's the hardest thing in the world to get used to the loss of our companion, they are very much our family.  It takes a long time to adjust and even then we still miss them and wish them back with us.

[LP&Treats]

@Pudge'sMom I’m sorry for the loss of your wonderful kitty. I lost my kitty today and I feel like a big baby too and I’m 23! The tears are flowing and the memories are rushing in. Although it’s hard I know that both your cat and my cat are up in heaven and doing what they love to do best. And although most people don’t understand it’s okay for us to act like babies and sob for the things we love the most.

[penny.smith0]

Hi, 

I saw all these comments about everyone’s own animals and I just really needed to talk about mine. His name is Pan, I caught him all by myself and he came in my life so unexpectedly. He was about 6-7 months old the last time I saw him, in March he’s going to be 8 months old. At least I still hope he is going to be going onto 8 months old if you know what I mean:( Everything just happened so suddenly I didn’t even really process in my mind I think. I just kept telling myself he was okay and he’d come back and he still hasn’t:( I still want to try and find him, I still will knock door to door to try and find him because it’s silly but I know he wouldn’t stop looking for me:( I just don’t know what to do, this is so hard I’ve never felt anything like it before. All I can think about is holding him and teaching him new tricks and waking up to find him sleeping next to me:( It feels like another part of me is missing, like it’s there but I can’t feel it. I’d give anything to hold him just one more time. I just wish this was all a big nightmare, and that I’m just gonna wake up and have him laying on my chest but it isn’t:( I don’t know, I’m sorry for writing such a big comment. I just feel like I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this besides my boyfriend, and I saw this website and these comments, it made me feel a little better because I know I’m not the only one going through it. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, it's the hardest thing in the world when we don't know what happened to them.  It's hard to have closure when you don't know...

My husband died 06/19/05.  A few months later a cat showed up (ours left when he saw George wasn't coming back), was living in the top of my carport, pawprints on my car.  One day I saw her, she was beautiful!  Siamese markings, blue eyes, black heart shaped nose, and the tiniest little feminine meow.  I brought her in and she was there to stay.  I live in the country, I figure someone dropped her off out here, abandoned her, it happens way too often.  She did claw up my couch and peed on my bathroom run, I sewed the couch and bought more rugs and rotated them when one was in the wash.  Other than that she was perfect!  She got along great with whatever dog I had at the time.  She adored Lucky (Whippet) and followed her everywhere!  She was great with Arlie when I got him too.  And she loved men!  I called her a shameless hussy and she'd flirt big time!  She worked her magic on them, blink blinking at them, rolling from side to side.  When she got them she'd look over at me as if to say "See, they're mine!).  She even won over my son, who was more of a dog person.  

When Kitty was dumped on me, I promised her a forever home and Miss Mocha and her reached an agreement to cohabitate...they weren't exactly BFFs but they got along.  Kitty, Miss Mocha, Arlie and I were a family of four.  Until June 3, 2016.  That was when she disappeared.  We gone outside about 6 am and I was outside all day, working, Missy Mocha down in the yard.  I never heard a thing.  That night, when I came in, no sign of her.  She never showed up.  I posted flyers, called neighbors, no one knew anything, they checked their garages, nothing.  When she never came back, I knew something had gotten her, likely a cougar, they're very stealth and quiet and grab them from behind, carrying them off to do their business, she would have gone into shock, which I hope protected her from what was to come.  I looked in my forest, never found her remains, nothing.  I kept looking at the patio door, hoping to see her appear, nothing.  I knew she'd never leave of her own accord, she loved it here, she was in great health, was happy.  I'd had her 10 1/2 years, she was grown and fixed when she came to me so no idea how old she was, I always assumed age 2-4 but who knows.  I bought a memorial stone for remembrance and set it in the back yard where I've buried my pets and spread my husband's ashes.

It's very hard to get closure under the circumstances.  We worry about them, wonder what happened, hope, hopes dashed.  My heart goes out to you as I understand.  I hope this brings you some consolation.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers
Missing Pet

 

 

[KimD.SF]

On 1/20/2018 at 10:42 PM, Pudge'sMom said:

I want my little boy back. I feel like I'm two years old instead of 21 because I keep crying and complaining that he's not here. Every time I come home a little part of me expects that he's going to be there but I'm always so disappointed. One of my neighbors that I don't get to see often asked me how he was and I had to excuse myself to go cry for an hour. How is he doing? I have no idea. I miss him so much, and I just can't believe he's gone. I seriously wish that these past two months didn't happen and that this was all a dream. How can he be gone? My little ray of sunshine and happiness. I wish I could hold him just one more time. I'm sure everyone says that. It's just so hard not to have him here to lay down on my arm/hand or rub his face all over mine when I'm sleeping. He loved me so much but now he's gone, and I am alone.  

 

[KimD.SF]

I completely understand. Your last few words "I am alone" really hit me. I'm 64 now, and when she died I was 62. I've never felt alone before. Now I know what that's like. When she died I felt widowed.
 

You are not alone. So many of us can relate. We are part of that club and it's a big one. I'm just so sorry that you have to know what this is like at such a young age. But... you will love again. That doesn't mean you'll ever forget this one. You won't and that's the good news. But in time it won't hurt so much. Please take care of yourself and be patient. The one you love -- the one who died -- wants you to love again. But don't worry, you won't ever really lose the love you once had. The pain will become part of your corpus, like an arm or leg. It just won't hurt so much someday. I'm so sorry you have to feel the way you do now though, but it's only because you loved so much, and that's a good thing. Trust me, things will get better.

[Angelicyokai]

I had to put my baby to sleep today.  I got Saturn when he was ten and had him for three years.   I would give almost anything for one more day.  He was suffering from cancer and couldn’t eat anymore and could barely move.  I know I made the best choice I could for him, but it hurts.

[KayC]

Of course it does.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my Arlie (dog) to cancer 3 years, 9 months ago and it was as hard as losing my husband had been 18 years ago, I considered him my soulmate in a dog.  He was perfect for me, I cherished him.

It's the hardest thing in the world to go through, they are so loving and forgiving and the best companions!
Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers