Members Smokeysmom Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 I've had Smokey since 2001. About five years ago he was diagnosed with triad. I treated him with meds and controlled flare ups. The las couple months mobility was not good but he was still eating, drinking and alert. The last few weeks he started sleeping more and having accidents. I put him in diapers which he didn't mind. Thursday I had to put him to sleep. I cried my guts out I'm still having a very difficult time with this loss. He was my boy, my child. I miss him tremendously. I'm still having a hard time accepting he is gone and I need help. I cry on and off and I feel lonely and depressed. I have another cat that I got for Smokey six years ago named nini but it's not the same and I don't have the connection with him that I had with Smokey. I've added Smokey photos below Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Smokeysmom Posted January 21, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Wish someone was able to listen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pudge'sMom Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 I miss my cat/son more than words can describe. It's been exactly two months since my little boy Pudge gained his Angel wings and it still feels like he was here just yesterday. Sometimes I just get sad, completely unprompted, and sob uncontrollably. I don't know what to do with my grief. Each day I find something that was his, or a little hair that fades from white to orange and I get so sad. The only physical things I have left of him can't even bring me any comfort or happiness. I am very sorry for your loss. Smokey was a beautiful cat, and very special. The connection you had with Smokey still lives on in you, and while I'm not necessarily religious I firmly believe that a love and connection like that can transcend the realms between the living and the dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Posted January 21, 2018 Guests Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Smokeysmom, what a beautiful boy. Nothing I can say will make the pain go away but just know that Smokey is still with you, you gave him a wonderful life for 18 years, he was loved and cared for that is clear and I'm sure Smokey knows this. keep posting on this site, we are all here for you and understand the pain you are in because we are all going through this painful journey of trying to understand and deal with this devastating pain and support each other through it. I have had more support here from complete strangers than anyone in the 'real' world who can't seem to understand the bond and depth of feeling we share with our furbabies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jencatlover Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 I'm so sorry @Smokeysmom he was a gorgeous cat. You are in the right place here with people who truly DO understand what you are going through because we have been through it and felt like you do. We understand the pain and the loss and the fact it can be compounded with the difficulty of not being able to share your feelings with friends and family. Share on here please. I lost my 16 year old baby boy cat Bertie ten days ago and it does get easier but the toughest things are the little things, the small daily routines we have with them that hit us at the most unexpected moments. It will get easier I promise. But I also know that words from someone else, no matter how kind or understanding, don't take away the pain. But you can talk and share here as much as you want and for me that has helped a lot. It's a cruel irony that we feel this terrible loss so deeply yet we are often unable to share our grief 'properly' with those around us. Please keep talking on here because the people on here are wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 21, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Smokeysmom, I'm so sorry. Perhaps in time you will grow closer to Nini, it won't be the same, of course not, but it happened that way a bit for me when I lost Miss Mocha, Kitty drew closer to me. She's never replace Miss Mocha, but at least it's something. Smokey is beautiful, every once in a while we get that special one. I had one named Chappy that I called my little boy, he used to snuggle up with me, he slept with me, laid his head under my chin with his paws around my neck. It was hard when he was gone, he's the only one that ever slept with me all night. My heart goes out to you as you're grieving your Smokey. I know the pain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 Hi there, I echo what everyone has said here. You had Smokey for so long, such a bond - you are still in shock. It is hard accepting when they are gone. My mind played out the events leading to losing my cat over and over and over - making me crazy. I was in such agony. I was fearful and anxious, depressed, crying, and pretty much a zombie for many days after we lost our wonderful "C" cat. He was like my child too. We adopted him at age 5 and had him from 2007 to 2017. I wish there was something I could say to make the pain lessen. There is not. This grief process is not easy, and all the logic in the world (we know they won't live forever) does not prepare you for their physical absence. But we all know you are going through. The people that end up here, looking for help and comfort, definitely get it. Just be kind and patient with yourself. You will get through this and you will be okay. It's just incredibly tough and in the beginning it is very dark. I am truly sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Smokeysmom Posted January 21, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 8 hours ago, Jencatlover said: I'm so sorry @Smokeysmom he was a gorgeous cat. You are in the right place here with people who truly DO understand what you are going through because we have been through it and felt like you do. We understand the pain and the loss and the fact it can be compounded with the difficulty of not being able to share your feelings with friends and family. Share on here please. I lost my 16 year old baby boy cat Bertie ten days ago and it does get easier but the toughest things are the little things, the small daily routines we have with them that hit us at the most unexpected moments. It will get easier I promise. But I also know that words from someone else, no matter how kind or understanding, don't take away the pain. But you can talk and share here as much as you want and for me that has helped a lot. It's a cruel irony that we feel this terrible loss so deeply yet we are often unable to share our grief 'properly' with those around us. Please keep talking on here because the people on here are wonderful. I don’t know how people handle this pain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jencatlover Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Smokeysmom said: I don’t know how people handle this pain Time, it's the only thing that will genuinely help. You can have all the support and kindness in the world from friends old and new and you can believe that others have experienced the same and you are not alone. All that is true but the only thing that will really help you come to terms with it is time. The reason we are so sad is because of all the happiness that we shared. Over time the thoughts of sadness they are gone slowly turn to happy memories of the life you shared. That's my honest belief. Others may have something different to offer you but that's been my experience and I've recently lost my 8th cat since 2001. It never gets easier, each pet is totally unique. But time helps. And please come here to share and ask for support, it's hard to grieve if your friends or family don't really 'get' it but everyone on here understands. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Smokeysmom Posted January 21, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 I wish I physically had you all around me in person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jencatlover Posted January 21, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2018 1 hour ago, Smokeysmom said: I wish I physically had you all around me in person I think many of us are in different time zones here so there is often someone here to talk to. Please don't feel alone in this, you're definitely not. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MyMocha Posted January 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 5 hours ago, Smokeysmom said: I don’t know how people handle this pain So sorry you have to be here. Losing our special friend is undeniably difficult. I read the stronger the bond the harder the grief..I am not sure I felt comforted much by that. But it at least helps explain to me why I feel hit by a train and then thrown off a cliff. I wish I could take your pain away but it doesn' work that way. It took me several days before I came out of the shock that my Mocha was truly gone and now I just sob unexpectedly. I imagine it will ease over time as acceptance kicks in. Just have to get through the day until then. It is painful to miss them. Just keep posting here and sharing your thoughts. Lots of different kinds of folks here but all know how hard it is. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Furbabies09 Posted January 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 I am so sorry for your loss. The emotions you are feeling can be difficult but know that you have so much support here. We have experienced the mixed emotions that come along. I can't say that I have lost my babies. We almost lost our boy and that was an emotional rollercoaster. We would one min feel guilty, sadness, anger, numbness, depressed and more. It would come in waves and so would the crying. What has helped us is this community. Without them we'd be a wreck. So please never hesitate to reach out. Smokey is very handsome. He looks very happy and you can see he was loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted January 22, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 Hey just wanted to check in from your last post. Handling the pain is so tough. You have your other cat, Nini with you though I read? After we lost our cat, we were all alone. The silence and absence is crushing. I hope having your other kitty with you helps a little. I mean I know it doesn't change anything, you still grieve Smokey every second. I was petting my new adopted kitty yesterday and my heart was missing the cat we lost. I hope you are doing okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted January 22, 2018 Moderators Report Share Posted January 22, 2018 18 hours ago, Smokeysmom said: I don’t know how people handle this pain We have no choice. Time dulls it a bit, eventually. In the beginning you feel your heart will burst from the pain, it's not even conceivable that you'll ever survive this, but somehow we do. I've been known to drive out in the woods and scream. We have to find a way to let it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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