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Loss of my cat


jane04

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My beautiful blue burmese cat, Lochie was diagnosed with stomach cancer in late july. He was 11 so this diagnosis came as a huge shock as i always expected him to live to a ripe old age. As the time went by he got sicker and sicker, we tried to treat the cancer but the tumor kept growing. He lost a lot of weight and strength, but kept up a brave fight the whole 5 months. It got to the point where he couldn't eat or drink anymore so i had to have him euthanized on the 4th January. I miss him terribly and have bouts of crying a few times a day, especially when i get home from being out as he would always be at the door to great me, even on his last day on this earth. He was a gentle loving cat and loved his mum. We had a special bond as i live alone so it was just me and him. My house is so empty and quiet without him, my bed also. He was my little boy, best friend and companion. I am struggling everyday to find purpose in life, i often feel like i will never be happy again without him. I feel numb at times, like a robot just going through the motions of daily life. I have to force myself to do anything. I know we out live our pets but i feel its so unfair my boy was taken from me before his time, i feel i could cope better if he'd died of old age. 

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Hi Jane,

so sorry to her about lochie, I know just how you feel! I had to put my beloved Callie of 18 years down friday, she had been blind the past year and declining, friday I found her on the bed I had thought she was gone, but she suffered some major event and meowed a little when I touched her, she couldn’t stand up or walk so I was left to make the hardest decision I ever have!......it’s been 5 days and I like you can’t believe the emptiness of our house, we still have one other cat tabby but I had a bond with callie, she was always sitting on me no matter when it was, and her being blind sometimes we had to carry her to her food bowl, lift her to the couch, it was so hands on I feel like part of me is gone......I am devesated just like you, i was feeling the same Struggling to do anything, crying all the time, it’s still hard but it’s s tiny but better today, Time will heal but we will never forget, I had Callie privately creamated and put in an urn with her paw print, I’m hoping when she gets back home at least I will feel like she’s back where she belones, I’m sending prayers and good thoughts you start your way to having the grief ease up and feel a bit better, take care and email me anytime if you need to vent.....scag74@aol.com

joe

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@jane04 we understand how you feel, grief is so personal and can be so overwhelming it's hard to find words that will offer comfort to you. Like Joey and yourself I lost my beautiful cat Bertie a few days ago and am finding it very hard. I don't know about age being a factor in our level of distress, I think it's more to do with the bond we have with them which in my experience, is created very very quickly. We all want more time and I guess it's tougher when we feel they could have had more years. We all want more, it's never enough time even when they are old. 

I have always had more than one cat so I can't imagine the feeling of not having one at all and my heart goes out to you. Every cat is an individual and is so precious to us. Although little comfort right now, you did the right thing. We have to put their wellbeing above everything else including our own heartache. Please post on here and share with us. I've never done it before and I'm finding talking with people who understand quite comforting. x

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Jane, I am so sorry.  There are no words that adequately describe such loss, I know, my dog and cat are everything to me.  I wish comfort and peace to come to you.

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Such a heartbreaking story.  Everyone here knows how you feel, unfortunately.  I can testify that living to an old age doesn't make losing them any easier. My baby was 22.5 and it was still not right nor was it time in my opinion.  I lost Mocha on the 9th and i went to bed crying last night and woke up to immediate tears this morning.  Guess it will just take time to "get used" to the change.  I really don't think it's something a person gets over...just adjusts to.  I know what it's like to feel numb and empty so my heart goes out to you.  Keep posting and reading others experiences here and you might feel less alone and get help getting through this difficult transition.  Hugs

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I agree with MyMocha, I don't think you ever get over the loss you just adjust to it and get 'used' to it being there so it seems more bearable.  Sometimes when I think about my old dog Jasmine who died almost 10 years ago, I'm glad of the sadness I sometimes feel because it reinforces the memory of the bond I had with her and that I wasn't being stupid or overdramatic in my grief when she died, what I felt was real then and all these years on it is still real and in some ways that helps with what is to come with my dog Ava, it may not make sense to some people but the good thing about this site is that it seems to be full of people that bonded as deeply with their furbabies as I have mine and they understand the intensity of the grief and pain that goes with that in a way that not everyone does.

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thanks to all of you who replied to my post, it helps to know people understand what im goimg through and how bloody hard it is. I like what sarah&ava said about feeling so sad and recoginising that it is due to the close bomd we had with our pet. He will be in  my heart and soul forever. My doctor said to me today have a good weekend, and I just looked at her in disbelief, and said no i won't, and i dont want to, i want to be sad to honor my boys passing. Iam greiving and will take all the time i need to do so.

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I totally get that Jane, I think the thing I'm stuggling with is it's Ava who gets me through all the difficult times, without her I would not have been able to deal with so many things that life has thrown at me over the last 9 1/2 years and the worst thing that life is going to through at me during her lifetime is her death I will have to face without her which is just so hard to even comprehend.  I've decided to try to video as many of her little quirks as I can such as the way she scatches the door when she wants to come in or snores and moans when as she tries to get confortable so that when she's gone I will still have these to keep me company.  I've recorded her snoring so I can play this on a loop etc. The problem is that these things often happen spontaeously so by the time I have my phone ready to film it, it's over but I think it's something I want to try.  I've also ordered a clay foot print mould and a paw ink print set so I can take these as keepsakes.  I'm trying so hard to be as prepared as I can be in the time she's got left but am also aware that I am sticking a phone in her face every time she moves it feels like.  I also know that in reality all of it is pretty futile and that you can never prepare for the loss of such a beloved part of your life.

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7 hours ago, jane04 said:

I like what sarah&ava said about feeling so sad and recoginising that it is due to the close bomd we had with our pet. He will be in  my heart and soul forever.

They say grief is love turned inside out, I think that's a pretty apt description.  It's true that no matter how old they are the loss is the same, but there's the added burden when they're young that we feel they got gypped of their just due.  I lost a cat at 19 and losing him was so hard, it's been 11 1/2 years and I am still missing him, time doesn't change that, but I know we gave him a good life.  It helps knowing I'll be with him again someday.

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Hi Jane, I am so sorry to hear about your loss and so much sooner than you thought.

I lost my sweet cat at 15 but it was a sudden (poisoning we think) thing and so it was truly terrible. The shock of it was a big part of what made it so much worse than my other cats that passed after long illness. :( But of course, it is never good no matter the circumstance.

I also was a walking zombie the first couple of weeks. Didn't find joy in almost anything. We still miss our cat and talk about him a lot. It has been over 5 months. We adopted another cat because life for me is not complete without a kitty to love and take care of and there are too many sitting without homes in the shelters. 

I hope you find some peace as you go through this process. Nothing prepares you - all the logic in the world about what life will be like without them doesn't matter when they are not there.

There is no way around, only through.   

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Jane I am so sorry for your loss...I know words are not enough. I totally understand this emptiness and lack of purpose that follow such a loss, even if you have other animals or humans in your life to care for. Life just stops. It will take a while to rebuild your world and your self. There is no other way than to take it one hour at a time, one day at a time. My heart breaks for you, I know how it is, going through each day with that unbearable pain in your heart. I wish I could help you more. In time it will get easier. I pray that your heart will find comfort and healing.

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I'm truly sorry for your loss.  I can empathize with what your going through. I loss my wonderful precious boy Prince Lucky on January 1st at 12:05 right into the new year he was 8 years old. My husband and I are heartbroken!!

He was my first cat having always having dogs as a pet. My husband was coming home one frigid winter morning and saw a kitten in the middle of the road he stopped and immediately took it into the car and rushed it to the near by animal shelter.  We were willing to take it in although we both knew nothing about cats.  Well that little fellow didn't make it. But the guy at the shelter say my husband disappointment and stated I have a little fellow for you.  He was two months old came to the shelter with his mother and sister.

We loved him from day one.  He is the most sweetiest cat., so loving and never showed any sign of aggressiion.  He was the first cat for my entire family my nieces absloutly loved him.  He was a fighter going through 3 consecutive blockage and PU surgery when he was 5. He struggled with kidney stones and I couldnt bare putting him through more surgeries.  He was not the same after the first surgery although he delt with it all and always showed that great personality that we love so much. We held him to the very end.  He will forever live within us.  He has sparked a love in me for cats. I am forever grateful for the time he spent with us.  Sweet dreams baby boy.

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@jane04, just checking on you and hoping you are feeling a little better. Bonds with our companins can be very strong and I definitely understand. I miss my friend so much.

@Nadine Dewar, so sorry for the loss of your kitty. It's obvious you cared for him and losing our furry friends is so hard. Ty for sharing your story.

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18 hours ago, Nadine Dewar said:

I'm truly sorry for your loss.  I can empathize with what your going through. I loss my wonderful precious boy Prince Lucky on January 1st at 12:05 right into the new year he was 8 years old. My husband and I are heartbroken!!

He was my first cat having always having dogs as a pet. My husband was coming home one frigid winter morning and saw a kitten in the middle of the road he stopped and immediately took it into the car and rushed it to the near by animal shelter.  We were willing to take it in although we both knew nothing about cats.  Well that little fellow didn't make it. But the guy at the shelter say my husband disappointment and stated I have a little fellow for you.  He was two months old came to the shelter with his mother and sister.

We loved him from day one.  He is the most sweetiest cat., so loving and never showed any sign of aggressiion.  He was the first cat for my entire family my nieces absloutly loved him.  He was a fighter going through 3 consecutive blockage and PU surgery when he was 5. He struggled with kidney stones and I couldnt bare putting him through more surgeries.  He was not the same after the first surgery although he delt with it all and always showed that great personality that we love so much. We held him to the very end.  He will forever live within us.  He has sparked a love in me for cats. I am forever grateful for the time he spent with us.  Sweet dreams baby boy.

Nadine,

You sound like very special people and you had a very special cat that was meant to be with you, I'm glad you got those eight years together.  It is so hard to lose our pet, cat or dog or otherwise, we get so very attached, they are a part of our family, a part of our heart.  I'm sorry your little boy, Prince Lucky, went through so much, and you along with him, but I'm glad you had each other to go through all of life's struggles and joys with.  My heart goes out to you in your loss.

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KayC thank you so much. Im so hurt its a hurt that is so deep!! I work from home so i was always home with him . It's so weird not having him around. I miss his presence everything about him.  I find myself looking at his favorite spots to lay and I'm overcome with tears like everyday. My husband has been my rock. When I get sad he brings up good memories we had with him and always find a way to make me laugh. When I feel like maybe we did the wrong thing by letting him go he reasurres  me that we did what was best for him. Finding this forum has been very helpful and Im glad I got the nerve to share my story. Best wishes to everyone. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It takes time to adjust to those changes in our routine.  Meanwhile you look expectantly towards an area in your house, expecting to see them or to have them appear, and when that doesn't happen, it hits you afresh all over again.  It's good that our body adjusts in time so that it doesn't keep hitting us, but even so, we remember, and in our mind's eye, we see them laying there, never forgotten, always missed.  I kept expecting my Miss Mocha to appear at the patio door, waiting to be let in.  It never happened.  :(

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Nadine I know how it is ...expecting to see them in their usual places, in every corner they used to lay...it hurts so much. The house feels so empty without them, even for those of us that have other pets. I don't know what else to say to you except that I feel your pain and i am so sorry....It is so comforting to have your husband to support you during this difficult time. You surely did what was best for your baby. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope sharing here will help bring you some comfort. I hope time will soften your pain .

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Nadine, this is something I think about a lot, I have a big gentle giant called Ava, she's 60KG and a really physical and spiritual presence in my very small house, it has always been just the 2 of us in the house so I dread the idea of living alone and how much I am going to miss her physical presence because she is so big, she's bigger than me and takes up so much room both in my house and my heart.  I also now work from home and although I wish it had happened sooner so I could have spent more time with her and I'm glad that I can be with her 24/7 until the end, it also scares me that when she leaves me I will be alone in the house all day everyday.  When my last dog Jasmine died, it helped to go out to work because for that time I could in my mid at least pretend she was at home waiting for me which would bring some respite to my pain but this time I won't evem have that. 

I'm glad you found this site and shared your story  Nadine.

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