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Recent Loss of brother


seashelly

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Hi. I lost my brother 6 months ago. He was 34 years old. He was it by a drunk driver and killed on his motorcycle. We were 10 months apart.  He was by far the coolest guy in the room. My hero. I've had trouble expressing my grief. So many others loved him and I feel like I'm comforting others.  I'm not a very religious person and I worry about if he is In heaven.  My heart is ripped out of my chest but as soon as I start crying I stop. I don't think he'd want me to cry. My family doesn't talk about him much and I'm afraid to upset them. I feel alone and it makes me pur on a brave face. Friends are not there like I thought they would be. I worry about the upcoming trial for the hit and run. I feel like I have to be the strong one. Will it ever get better? 

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Dear seashelly,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its really hard. Grief is a long road and I think the first year there are so many raw emotions we have to work through.  Everyone grieves so differently, so please know there is no fixed timeline. I find with myself that after the first anniversary I was feeling less raw. Still sad and angry some days but not as raw. My one counsellor said generally around 18 to 24 months and another said potentially up to 5 years. At 6 months I was still horribly angry and sad.

Sending you love and hugs. Please know you are not alone. We are all here to listen and support each other. And if you want to consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group.

Thinking of you.

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Dear Seashells,

I am extremely sorry for your loss. It is indeed very painful.May you find peace soon.

I too lost my 39 yr old brother few days ago on 28 Jan who happened to be my identical twin. I am so devastated that I can't put it in words.

Reason for his death is still not certain. He was perfectly healthy..used to gym 5 days a week..no previous health condition..used to drink socially and smoke a bit.

He was playing cricket on the field and suddenly complained of breathlessness. He came out to rest for a while and suddenly collapsed holding his chest. The other players put him in a car and took him to the hospital only 12 min away. But the doctors couldn't revive him.

I was so close to him and being twins we spent the maximum time in last 39 yrs with each other. I didn't have to speak to him to know how he felt anytime.i just had that connection with him. I just can't accept that he's gone.

I'm in a mess right now..don't know if I even want to come out of it.

I see his car, his kids ,his other stuff everyday and I can't take it. I loved him so much.

How do you cope with something as devastating as this? I mean I'm not very religious..and I am finding it tougher..

Hope you guys soon find a.way to cope with your loss

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