Loss of a wife and steps to take

[eliaal]

My wife died suddengly 10 months ago, after 44 years of marriage. What has happened to me and to my life during this time has been of monumental importance. Intially, I did not know what to do, except provide my late wife with a Celebration of Life. What followed was the decision to begin downsizing the house, not by selling my wife's personal items, but by gifting them. So many people are in need at this time that this decision seemed to be the most rational. Unfortunately, the list of items gifted is extensive and probably too extensive for this forum. However, the gifts need not be large. As an example, a lady, who I did not know, explained that she needed to can fruit for the winter, as their budget would not support the purchase of like items at the store. I called her and asked if she needed canning jars. When she said she did, I asked that she bring a large box over to my house. When she arrived, I asked her to fill the box with used, but clean canning jars. She asked about the cost and I said none was required. Tears came to her eyes. Since I would never use the canning jars myself, the gift was simple enough, yet done in my late wife's honor. She would have wanted me to gift the jars to others.

If some of you reading this are interested, I can list other items that have been gifted, as I do have a complete record. My main point is not the gifting, however, but what can be done to honor the loss of a sponse. Obviously there is a need to grieve. But, there is also a need to respond in a way that my wife would have responded if I had died first.

[ModKonnie]

My wife died suddengly 10 months ago, after 44 years of marriage. What has happened to me and to my life during this time has been of monumental importance. Intially, I did not know what to do, except provide my late wife with a Celebration of Life. What followed was the decision to begin downsizing the house, not by selling my wife's personal items, but by gifting them. So many people are in need at this time that this decision seemed to be the most rational. Unfortunately, the list of items gifted is extensive and probably too extensive for this forum. However, the gifts need not be large. As an example, a lady, who I did not know, explained that she needed to can fruit for the winter, as their budget would not support the purchase of like items at the store. I called her and asked if she needed canning jars. When she said she did, I asked that she bring a large box over to my house. When she arrived, I asked her to fill the box with used, but clean canning jars. She asked about the cost and I said none was required. Tears came to her eyes. Since I would never use the canning jars myself, the gift was simple enough, yet done in my late wife's honor. She would have wanted me to gift the jars to others.

If some of you reading this are interested, I can list other items that have been gifted, as I do have a complete record. My main point is not the gifting, however, but what can be done to honor the loss of a sponse. Obviously there is a need to grieve. But, there is also a need to respond in a way that my wife would have responded if I had died first.

Hi Eliaal

I am sure your wife would be proud of you for being so thoughtful. I am so sorry about your loss, but I want to welcome you to the forums. I am going to move your post into the "Loss of a Spouse" forum, so others that have experienced the same loss can draw encouragement from you and offer you support, as well. We are glad to have you. We are here for you.

ModKonnie

[angel52727]

I can only imagine what you have gone through lossing your wife and I applaude you giving your wife's things away in away that people could put to good use to them. I wish that I could have the strenght that you have to give my son's belongings to people that need them.At this time this is all I have to remember my son Keith. Keith's death was very sudden he was at a friend's house to top it of which made it even harder. When I was able to see Keith he was in a body bag and that will haunt me for ever. I think that is why I keep Keith's belongs. I know losing your wife is a very difficult time for you, just remember your not alone.

angel52727