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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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lyn926

lost of husband

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how do I cope with the fact my husband is gone and his family thinks its all my fault he did not take care of himself health wise we were living apart when this happened his family did not want me to know what happen but my brother inlaw was man enough to say she needs to know she is his wife now that I know they want to bury his ashes with his parents I am ok with that but family more or less disowns me because I am with my daughters from previous marriage  we had no children together but he accepted my daughters he did not deny them anything just needed to unload this off my shoulders

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I am sorry for your loss, lyn.  It’s a sad fact that death brings out the worst in some family members.  I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this crap.  It often gets worse as time goes on so to get the peace and healing we need. we sometimes have to let those problem people go from our lives.  

Sending you strength, love and hugs. 

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Wow, I thought I was re-reading a post someone else posted recently, very similar circumstances with the in-laws.  I am so sorry for your loss, I know of nothing harder.  I'm sorry your husband's family is trying to lay blame on you, but as another poster responded to the similar post, sometimes grief brings out the worst in people.  They feel the need to blame someone and don't want to blame him, so they're laying it on you...that doesn't mean you own it though, it is not your fault how he took care of himself or didn't, we are grown adults, responsible for ourselves.

Your husband loved you and your daughters and that is what is important to keep in mind.  No matter what anyone else says or does, no one can take that from you.

Wishing you some peace...

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