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Zzooee14

Please help me

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I know I’m going to get so much hate for this and I completely deserve it. I thought I was doing the right thing, please understand this. I had the best dog in the entire world, he had my heart. I rescued him from a home that was going to drown him. I almost had him 3 years but I killed him. I got too busy and it wasn’t fair to him. He loved me so much, and he didn’t want to be around anyone else. I gave him anti freeze. I know it’s wrong I know. I regret it so much. Please one again I thought I was doing the right thing because it wasn’t fair for him. I’d do anything to see him for 5 more minutes. I deserve it, but how do I stop feeling like this? Gods come into my life since and I’ve asked for forgiveness. I’d obviously never do something like this again and I’ll continue to regret it for the rest of My life 

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Zzooee14 I am so sorry for your loss..I want you to know that here you'll get neither hate nor accusation, from anybody. We all know the suffering and the guilt that comes after pet loss. It is obvious that you loved your dog. I read your story but I don't understand what happened. Can you share more so we can help you?

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I became really busy and felt bad for leaving him home so much. He started jumping our back fence coming to look for me. I couldn’t just give him away, he was so attached to me. It really wasn’t fair to him 

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I honestly don't know exactly what to say. I am sad and confused that you felt this was your only option and sad for you now for what you are going through.

Obviously, I am really sad for your dog too, I hope he did not suffer too much. I don't think any of us can really understand your situation unless we were in your shoes. It's too late to do anything about it now. 

You sadly have to live with your choice, again I think having us "hate" on you probably doesn't come close to your own guilt and pain. I hope you do find forgiveness. 

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I couldn't state it any better than AJWCat did. I just hope you'll never ever do anything like this again.  The animal does suffer, greatly, I had a cat that got into antifreeze once and we spent a fortune helping her recover but she did.  I feel you need to know that so if you ever find yourself in these circumstances again, you will consider better options.  Re-homing him would have been the kindest option.  In our state they imprison people for animal cruelty so not a good idea to take matters into your own hands no matter the circumstances. 

That said, it's done, you can't take it back, now it's imperative to work on forgiving yourself and moving forward.  The whole purpose of guilt is to call our attention to something we need to change within ourselves.  Once that has been addressed and dealt with, guilt serves no more purpose.  If we continue to stay in these feelings, that purposeful "guilt" now turns to "shame" and all shame does is hold us down, paralyzing us in where we were, not where we are.  It's so important to let go of the needless guilt in order to move on into a more productive and healthier mind frame.  

I hope these articles are of some help to you.

http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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Honestly I didn't know what to say to you but I too think AJWCat said everything in her post.I have nothing more to add. May you move forward from here and if you find yourself in a similar situation in the future consider other alternatives.

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