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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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OK so I lost my mom 7/27/13...for those who say "time heals"...I'm still waiting. My birthday is 4 days away and I again this year, don't think its fair to celebrate. I don't know what I'm celebrating. Im battling everyday for mental and emotional stability. Dipping in and out of substance abuse. Just really trying to keep it together. Someone please help me!!!

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Dear Jocelyn81,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.  Those of us who have lost our mothers struggle for a long time I think.  Its a year for me and I don't think I've even touched the sides of this process.  It still feels like a dream.  Not a good one.  I hate those cliches, time heals...  No it doesn't.  I think probably over the years the pain lessens?  Substance abuse comes from just trying to cope.  My substance abuse is binge watching tv series!  Not dangerous, won't kill me or harm anyone else.  It takes me away though and i can get lost in stories that aren't mine.  Birthdays, anniversaries etc..are always going to be painful I think.  I hope you will consider seeing a grief therapist?  You need support.  I just started a few weeks ago.  Too soon to tell but I feel after a year I needed to try to take steps forward.  So sorry you are struggling.  Mothers are irreplaceable.  

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Dear Jocelyn,

I'm so sorry for your pain and sorrow. I know it hurts a lot. Please know you are not alone. Grief can take years to process and even then its not something to "get over."

I hope you will consider reaching out and consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group. There are so many resources in the community and through church. Many good people want to listen and support you through this painful time.

Sending you love and hugs.

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