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I lost my dad the month after my 9th birthday. it is now a month till my 18th birthday but the past few months I have been struggling soo much. I lost my dad at the age of 9 to a bad car accident. I remember that day and mum getting the phone call , this day is pretty clear to me along with the day of his funeral althugh I csnt remmeber anything else , my whole childhood is a blur I can' remember 1 thing , I can't even remmeber the few months after his death. every day I never stop thinking off him , but I csnt get the though of him not being here out of my head. it' the first and last thing on my mind. I give up soo much it kills me seeing other people with there dad's and even talking about there dad's I feel like a huge part of me is missing and that my life is gunna stay like this forever ,  I'm hardly sleeping at night all I do is lie there and watch TV or stare out the window , I feel empty and strange , I then go on to listening to music but most the songs I listen to relate to how I'm feeling and what I'm going through , I feel like such a child for crying soo much .  I've been talking to a new friend that I like and tonight I get really dry with him and felt like I was taking it out on him , I just want someone I can talk to , I'm scared talking to people incase they tell others or think it' for attention 

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Dear Jordan,

I'm so sorry for all the pain and hurt you are feeling for your beloved dad. I know its really hard.  Thinking of you.

Please know you are not alone in this struggle. Life is so hard and so unfair.

I hope you can reach out to trusted friends and family for additional support. Or consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group.

We are all here to listen and help in anyway we can.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Hi Jordan,
Have you spoken to a counsellor/psychologist. If you are in USA, there is https://www.griefshare.org/
I have found talking to friends didn't help me as they have never had the experience so they don't know what to say.
I know a lot of people who lost a parent/s when they were very young. One lost her mother when she was 4, another lost her mother when she was 12. Another was given to an orphanage as a baby. They all grew up OK. My mother lost her mother when she was about 12. She then lost her father when she was 18. She had no one left at the age of 18, no parents, no siblings, no aunts/uncles, no cousins. No one. She made it through life OK, others entered her life to make up for family she didn't have.
Other people will move into your life when you allow them to, especially at your young age. They will fill the hole left by the ones we lost.
But you need to open up to someone to help you get a perspective on the situation. Someone who can help you understand, help you think straight. This is either someone who has been through it and gotten through or a professional like a counsellor or psychologist. Someone who knows the condition and is skilled to guide you out of it.
Keeping it bottled in can lead to depression.
All the best
 

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Dear Jordan,

I'm so sorry for what you have been going through all these years.  Its heartbreaking.   Do you talk to your mother about it?  I'm guessing not.  I really 100% agree with Tessa.  Please seek proper help so you can manage this terrible pain.  its normal to feel such pain losing a parent but you need help to work through it all.  Really hope you trust someone and open up so they can start to help you.

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I csnt get time away from family to speak to anyone , mum wants to always no where I am , I'm not driving yet so again makes it hard getting to see someone , I don' want my family know I feel this way

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Dear Jordan,

I know how hard it is to admit to others you are struggling.  I’m much older than you and I still have a hard time.  Please consider telling your mother, I know it’s hard but I’m sure she would be devastated that you are struggling so much.

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Hi Jordan,
Back in October, I suggested you call an organization that provides support by phone I mentioned Lifeline. Have you contacted someone like that.
Phone help will help you get around the fear of telling your mother.
I don't know what country you are in so I can't refer you to any particular place but it's easy to google to find help by phone. Of if you have Lifeline in your country, Lifeline should have a list of places that you can get help.
I phoned one of these phone places a couple of months ago when I was having a bad weekend. It helped greatly to have someone listen to me and someone who understood what I was going through.
From my personal experience, friends are not useful in such situations. Because they haven't had the experience so they can't imagine what we are going through. They will listen once or twice but they have no useful advice and then they get bored with us always talking about the same thing.
There is also prayer and meditation if that is your culture.
 

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