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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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Donna Marie

How do I carry on now my soulmate is gone

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My husband was ripped from me on January 4th and I don' know if I can do this without him. I know I sound selfish as we have a 10 year old son.My son watched me pound on his daddy' chest begging him to not leave me in our bedroom I'm devastated that that's his last image of his daddy. My JJ was only 46, we wasn't supposed to be doing this, we were supposed to grow old together. We had his calling hours Sunday and his service yesterday but of course living in CNY I can't bury him till spring due to the snow and permafrost. I just don' know what to do. Did he hear me scream for him to stay, Did he hear me tell him I love him and always Will? My heart s broke and I don' know anything anymore.

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We had my beloved cremated. He died in California but his remains were going to a more northern winter-heavy location. I have no words of comfort; I'm so sorry for your loss. What I can tell you is that you're not alone. There's not a day that I don't wish I was gone too, so that at least I could be with him. I, too, pounded on his chest and tried to bring him back. I, too, had dreams of growing old with him. My heart is broken beyond repair and I'll always have a gaping wound that nobody can heal. People will say things that they think are comforting in this time. Not three days after he passed, people were talking to me about finding love again. Ignore them. Only you know what you are going through. Only you know your pain. And he still loves and watches over you, as hard as it can seem to believe. Is it the same? Not at all, and I'm pretty new to this grief journey. He gained his wings 11/17/2017, so I'm still experiencing things I wish I didn't have to...I don't have all of the answers.

I am so sorry for your loss. We waited a month and a half for his services, which was terribly hard for everyone. Up to that point, I cried every day. After that day, I felt some closure, but I still feel incomplete...like a limb has been ripped from me.

I believe they do hear us yell in those moments. I got chills just now because I yelled at him too when he was leaving me. I pounded on him too. We love so deeply and so hard that we can't imagine a life without them. I can't. I'm only 29; the rest of my life is going to be very difficult now that I've lost my twin soul...and that I'll spend the next however many years of my life grieving the greatest love I'll ever know.

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I'm so very very for your loss,  I have no words at all to comfort you, but to offer you my love and prayers. I'm just so angry, angry at him for going, at myself for failing to save him, at my mother in law for not telling me that my husband went to her and told her that he thought he might have had a heart episode (I was about to under go surgery on my neck so he probably didn't want to worry me). I just thank God I was here at the end and that I had just spent the last month with him whilst I was out on disability after me necksurgery. We laughed every day in December we were just starting to live again and then he was gone. My heart aches so much and if it wasn' for our boys I would've ladly gone with him. We always used to say ur love was "the greatest love story never to have been told" I'm from England he is from New York and through AOL we found our soulmate and I honestly believe we were fated to be together. I don't know if I can help you in your grieving as it's so new for me.

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