Members Tanya B.H. Posted January 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 It is 3:53am and I'm exhausted but can't fall asleep. I just joined a few minutes ago. I've come to realize that I'm falling into a depressive state. I lost my mother August 31, 2017 and have been completely devistated ever since. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was gone within 4 months. My mom meant everything to me. I've just about everyday since. I immediately went back on my anxiety meds because I knew there was no way I was going to make it on my own. I'm also seeing a grief therapist. I'm 50 years old,(divorced)and I have a 21 year old daughter whom I love very much. If I didn't have her I'm quite sure that I would be in Psych ward by now. I feel like as each day goes on I'm feeling worse. I can't believe that she is gone & I'm never going to see her again! Pray for me. Thanks for listening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sadandlost Posted January 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 Dear Tanya B.H, I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely relate to your post. I'm the same age as you but completely alone, no children. I lost my mother a year ago and every day is still hard. I miss her every single day. it was a close and special relationship and now I'm left with nothing. I want you to know a year on, it isn't necessarily easier, its just different. The anxiety and panic lessens. The missing of our mothers doesn't lessen. Sometimes I feel I won't make it through the other side, other times I think I can do it. Its like a year of irrational thinking and madness that happens with grief. I am still depressed. I don't want to be but I accept that when you lose the most important person in your life, its a long process to rebuild. I'm here. I'm listening to what you want to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tanya B.H. Posted January 7, 2018 Author Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 5 hours ago, sadandlost said: Dear Tanya B.H, I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely relate to your post. I'm the same age as you but completely alone, no children. I lost my mother a year ago and every day is still hard. I miss her every single day. it was a close and special relationship and now I'm left with nothing. I want you to know a year on, it isn't necessarily easier, its just different. The anxiety and panic lessens. The missing of our mothers doesn't lessen. Sometimes I feel I won't make it through the other side, other times I think I can do it. Its like a year of irrational thinking and madness that happens with grief. I am still depressed. I don't want to be but I accept that when you lose the most important person in your life, its a long process to rebuild. I'm here. I'm listening to what you want to say. Thank you so much for the thoughtful and kind words. I feel the exact same as you do. People say to me oh it's going to take some time, but I honestly feel that this is something that time is not going to solve. I say this because I feel like as every day passes I miss her more & more! I'm considering getting a dog for emotional support. I will see my therapist on Monday so I'll talk to her about it. I'm sorry that you have to go through this alone. Even though I have my daughter, I still feel very alone & empty. Thanks again for listening! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sadandlost Posted January 7, 2018 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2018 Dear Tanya, Thank you for your reply. It helps me too knowing I'm not the only one! I'm here pretty much daily and it helps. Reading other peoples stories has helped me understand grief better. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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