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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Tanya B.H.

I miss my mom.....

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It is 3:53am and I'm exhausted but can't fall asleep. I just joined a few minutes ago. I've come to realize that I'm falling into a depressive state. I lost my mother August 31, 2017 and have been completely devistated ever since. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was gone within 4 months. My mom meant everything to me. I've just about everyday since. I immediately went back on my anxiety meds because I knew there was no way I was going to make it on my own. I'm also seeing a grief therapist. I'm 50 years old,(divorced)and I have a 21 year old daughter whom I love very much. If I didn't have her I'm quite sure that I would be in Psych ward by now. I feel like as each day goes on I'm feeling worse.  I can't believe that she is gone & I'm never going to see her again! Pray for me. Thanks for listening!

 

 

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Dear Tanya B.H,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I completely relate to your post.  I'm the same age as you but completely alone, no children.  I lost my mother a year ago and every day is still hard.  I miss her every single day.  it was a close and special relationship and now I'm left with nothing.  I want you to know a year on, it isn't necessarily easier, its just different.  The anxiety and panic lessens.  The missing of our mothers doesn't lessen.  Sometimes I feel I won't make it through the other side, other times I think I can do it.  Its like a year of irrational thinking and madness that happens with grief.  I am still depressed.  I don't want to be but I accept that when you lose the most important person in your life, its a long process to rebuild.  

I'm here.  I'm listening to what you want to say.

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5 hours ago, sadandlost said:

Dear Tanya B.H,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I completely relate to your post.  I'm the same age as you but completely alone, no children.  I lost my mother a year ago and every day is still hard.  I miss her every single day.  it was a close and special relationship and now I'm left with nothing.  I want you to know a year on, it isn't necessarily easier, its just different.  The anxiety and panic lessens.  The missing of our mothers doesn't lessen.  Sometimes I feel I won't make it through the other side, other times I think I can do it.  Its like a year of irrational thinking and madness that happens with grief.  I am still depressed.  I don't want to be but I accept that when you lose the most important person in your life, its a long process to rebuild.  

I'm here.  I'm listening to what you want to say.

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and kind words. I feel the exact same as you do. People say to me oh it's going to take some time, but I honestly feel that this is something that time is not going to solve. I say this because I feel like as every day passes I miss her more & more! I'm considering getting a dog for emotional support. I will see my therapist on Monday so I'll talk to her about it. I'm sorry that you have to go through this alone. Even though I have my daughter, I still feel very alone & empty. Thanks again for listening!

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Dear Tanya,

Thank you for your reply.  It helps me too knowing I'm not the only one!  I'm here pretty much daily and it helps.  Reading other peoples stories has helped me understand grief better.  Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

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