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rlow

My fit, healthy dad died

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Hello, I am new here and at a loss with what to do with how I'm feeling. On new year's eve, I took my mom out to the garden centre for a couple of hours. When we got back, she found him dead, lying on the bed. He had been up and they had eaten breakfast together and he'd taken the dog for a walk. She tried to resuscitate him but he'd gone. He was only 68 and was very fit and healthy. In their toilet, there was a little vomit as if he had been poorly before going to lie down. We are all in such shock and I just desperately want to know why. The post mortem should be happening on Monday.  My mom just keeps saying she wants to go with him. At the moment it's hard to imagine our family ever being happy again. 

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Dear rlow,

I'm so sorry for your loss, that is a terrible shock.  He wasn't even ill?  I can't imagine how much of a shock it is for you.  For all of us that loose our parent its a shock, even when they are ill its a shock.  When they are not ill, I can't imagine.  You and your mother need each other desperately now.  I'm so sorry for you both.  You're right things won't be the same again.  We are all living with that now.  It takes a long long time to get used to a new reality.  We are here and listening when you want to write more.

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Thank you for your reply. No he wasn't ill- not even a cold. We ate Christmas dinner together and he played with my 3 boys as happy as anything.

7 years ago he fought (and won against) prostate cancer. It has crossed my mind that the cancer was back but surely there would have been symptoms. The guessing and waiting is just the worst thing. 

Sorry for your loss as well. x

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Dear rlow,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your mom at this extremely difficult time. Life is so unfair and I don't know why these things happen. I hope you can find the answers you are looking for regarding your dad's health. Please take care and know that we are all here to support you.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Dear rlow, 

I am so sorry for your loss. Even knowing briefly that my mom was ill, the shock of her passing is horrible and so painful. I had no idea that this would happen, and it's hard. I think many of us here struggle with whys and what ifs.  I hope you find answers too, but sometimes answers seem insufficient in dealing with such a profound loss.  I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this.  Please know that people here can relate  to the loss of someone dear. This is so fresh, and surely so painful for you and your mom. Take things one day at a time. Things won't be the same, but you will eventually start to feel more like yourself again.  Sending a prayer for your comfort and peace. Please take good care of yourself and keep expressing your feelings. 

 

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