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Jamerton

Anxiety after Father's death

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Hi everyone, this is my first post, so I'll try and keep it coherent! I hope everyone is doing ok with whatever life has thrown at them...

My Dad passed away in September from a short fight with cancer, he was 56. I'm 36 and live overseas

The visit to see him at the end traumatized me somewhat. I haven't been able to sleep since then, had panic attacks, have been prescribed sleeping pills, which help, but my anxiety sometimes keeps me awake even taking the pill. Some days are better than others, but it's very unpredictable and tough to manage

Has anyone had any experience with anti anxiety drugs in situations like this? I'm doing my best to manage with just the sleeping pills, but I don't know if that's the best way to go. Thanks for any advice

 

J

 

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Jamerton,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your father. When my father died, I suffered extreme anxiety. I tried taking an anti anxiety med, but it actually made me feel worse. I was prescribed sleeping pills, and like you, I had good nights and bad ones. 

Honestly, I found that a combination of exercise, diet change ( no or very limited caffeine or alcohol), and prayer (meditation works for some people) seemed to work better. My anxiety actually went away after a few months. Do some online searches about deep breathing techniques to help with anxiety. They actually work quite well. I use deep breathing for a variety of stressful situations now, and I find it's better than drugs. 

We will be here with you,

ModKonnie

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Dear Jamerton,

I'm very sorry for your loss.  I've been using this forum for several months, so over the months I see that panic and anxiety is very common in the first few months.  3 weeks after my mother died I passed out in my apartment.  I realised much later it was a severe panic attack.  I had other symptoms too.  One year later, things have stabilised to a degree but I have a lot of bad dreams and still have anxiety every now and then.  What helped me instead of sleeping pills which gave me a terrible hangover effect, was a very low dosage of zanex at night before bed.  Not every night but 2-3 times a week so I could sleep.  It calmed me down and I was able to sleep without getting a hangover in the morning.  I never tried it during the day, only to sleep.  It worked for me.  I broke 1mg in half, so very low dose.   Just saying what worked for me.  The first few months after loss are very raw.   After it turns into something else.  Often a deeper level of loss as reality really settles in.  Its very hard and I'm sorry you are going through this.  Not sleeping makes everything worse.  Look after yourself.  We are here and reading your words.

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Thanks a lot for the responses, I appreciate it. Overthinking things also seems to be a side-effect of everything that's happening, so it's nice to have outside advice!

I drink tea a lot, so I'll try to cut down :) I think keeping things simple is probably the way to go, breathing, eating etc, things I usually don't pay enough attention to I guess. Hopefully it gets a bit easier in time. Thanks for the kind words, it helps to know I'm not alone in this new reality. Take care

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