Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Sign in to follow this  
stacey9

Why is it Getting Worse?

Recommended Posts

Why is it getting so much worse?  Crying all the time, sick to my stomach, going over and over the day she passed away.  So many fears, so many tears  Who will I grow old with?  Feeling so selfish because I have a wonderful husband and son.  Want to help my nieces but feel like I am doing all the wrong things.  My voice cracks, I cannot speak about her.  I loved her so much and we had so many plans.  Whenever I see my grandson, I cry for all the things her grandson will miss and she will miss.  I look at my couch and see her sitting there.  Why wasn't it me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Stacey,

I am so sorry for all the pain and sorrow you are going through. I know its really hard. The first few weeks and months and even first year is going to be rough. It takes a long time for our minds and bodies to come to terms with our devastating loss. It truly feels incomprehensible at times. Allow yourself to feel every emotion. Its not easy but it better to let the tears out.

Sending you love and hugs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for responding to my post.  I was just sitting here going through e-mails and remembering that every evening at this time, my sister would call or I would call her, just to catch up on the day.  It could be a two second call or a two hour call.  It feels so lonely without the one person I could joke with or recall some ridiculous incident that happened during the day.  I check in with her three daughters everyday but I just run out of  things to say.  Sometimes I think I make it worse because I cannot replace their mother who they had such close relationships with.  The would describe every detail of their work and personal lives and look to her for advice or let out some steam or whatever.  My oldest niece would FaceTime with her and my sister would get a lot of time with her grandson.  I get so choked up at the thought of what they are missing.  I feel so guilty that I am here to enjoy my son and grandson.  I am so afraid of bringing up memories for them and making them even sadder than they are.  So many people tell me that they are not little kids, that they will do their grieving in their own way and in their own time.  I feel my own grief but also the weight of their grief and so want to make it easier for them.  My sister and I always said we had 4 children together and I cannot shake the feeling that I am not doing all I can do to make things easier for them.  Thanks for listening. I've gone on too long. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×