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VelaBird

Rescued baby dove died, can't get over it.

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Your English is impeccable!  I commend you for your apt display of English, you do better than most young people here, of whom it's their first (and only) language!

Perhaps it's something to keep in mind for you someday as a career, I really think you'd do well with it and perhaps you could be the first CARING vet in your field!

I realize what you are saying, there are all too many vets that care only for money, but once in a while we run across a caring one that loves animals and it shows.  We have rescues here, perhaps you could come to the US when you are older and work with one.  The rescues are non-profits that operate off of grants and donations, but one can make a living at it and still spend their time helping animals of all kinds, birds included.  Most people here have a soft spot for animals.

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19 hours ago, VelaBird said:

I'm not that sad for my little Flimsy. My Father felt bad for me and bought a beutiful grave-like block. We burned the shoebox and put the ashes and some food with the grave. And feels better to know I have honored it

I am glad you found comfort in honoring your Flimsy in this way. I am sure its spirit knows it.

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VelaBird, you are a very extraordinary young person. Maybe you can work with birds someday at a rescue, a vet, or a zoo? It would be a nice goal for you if you are interested. Remember your efforts even if they are not always successful are done with the best intentions and also at least you try. Most people do not.  

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On 10/1/2018 at 6:17 PM, AJWCat said:

VelaBird, you are a very extraordinary young person. Maybe you can work with birds someday at a rescue, a vet, or a zoo? It would be a nice goal for you if you are interested. Remember your efforts even if they are not always successful are done with the best intentions and also at least you try. Most people do not.  

Here in Chile there aren't volunteering for that, only dog rescue.

And I don't think I can ever get the chance to travel to USA and volunteer there, it's not cheap!

And i'm not extraordinary, it's just that I get obsessed with a topic and start researching non-stop until my curiosity has been contented...

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Today it's been officialy a month since Flimsy passed away, and it's like all the memories are flooding back. The bad thing is that good memories also make me sad.

I remember the exact detail of every minute of the day that it died. I remember when we travelled to Santiago, I was extremely anxious all the time because I wanted to go home and feed it, that was 4 days before 13th. I can remember when we found it. I remember when I found it dead. I even have an issue where if I hear an acute noise resembling Flimsy I instantly go to my room, like muscular memory. Everything makes me cringe and burst in tears, I don't think this is an exaggeration...

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Don't rule it out.  We're only a plane ticket away.  Most of us squander away more money than that over time.  Just an option to keep in mind.  As my son said (he put himself through college with no help from anyone, three engineering degrees, got straight A's, was the commencement speaker, and he did so with no debt owing!) He said, "where there's a will, there's a way."  Our lives are up to us, if we want something bad enough, we find the way.

What you are describing with the noise is a trigger to your grief, something we all experience, our senses bring us back to that time and place...our brains memorize things associated with our senses differently than facts, etc.  They have instant recall and take us back to that moment in time that it reminds us of.

 

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VelaBird one of the things I learned going through grief is that anniversaries of our pets' passing are extremely hard to deal with, harder than other days. The one-month anniversary has been so far the hardest for me, the pain was still so raw. I think that's why all your memories of Flimsy and your emotions came back with force that day. Knowing this doesn't make the pain less but I think it helps to be aware of this. I am so sorry for your pain, please know that it will become more bearable over time.

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