Spouse has stage 4 cancer

[Valerie B]

My hubbie was diagnosed with a mass on his lung on the 15th April of this year. Then diagnosed with a large mass with other small masses behind on is brain on the 21st April/10. Had emergency surgery on the 3rd May on his brain to take the 5.7 mass from it. Went on Steroids and felt great for 3 weeks. Had Gamma Knife , put him down for 3 weeks after. Was diagnosed with it in his Adrenal gland on the 16th June, and they could'nt give him chemo, also the mass in the brain had started growing. The he went in for Radiation on his lung to help that in July, and never gotten better since. Today, me and the Palliative care team are trying to get his pain under control, he is on a Morphine Patch, and also break through injections of morphine which I inject every 4 hours if needed, through a port in his arm. He's in a lot of pain with cramps and his legs seizing up, he has'nt eaten anything significant in about a month, he's on laxitives from the doctor and he's on Anti-Nausea pills .. He drinks water mainly and won't even drink Ensures anymore. He's been very agitated the last 3 days, very irritable , mean in what he says to me, and I know it's not him, it's the sickness and the morphine. but God it hurts, I would like to speak to someone who is going or has gone through this.. The doctor has put him on Ativan to help also.. He's of course at home with me, and hopefully he's able to pass away here, as is his wishes also. .Thanks for listening ♥

[ModKonnie]

My hubbie was diagnosed with a mass on his lung on the 15th April of this year. Then diagnosed with a large mass with other small masses behind on is brain on the 21st April/10. Had emergency surgery on the 3rd May on his brain to take the 5.7 mass from it. Went on Steroids and felt great for 3 weeks. Had Gamma Knife , put him down for 3 weeks after. Was diagnosed with it in his Adrenal gland on the 16th June, and they could'nt give him chemo, also the mass in the brain had started growing. The he went in for Radiation on his lung to help that in July, and never gotten better since. Today, me and the Palliative care team are trying to get his pain under control, he is on a Morphine Patch, and also break through injections of morphine which I inject every 4 hours if needed, through a port in his arm. He's in a lot of pain with cramps and his legs seizing up, he has'nt eaten anything significant in about a month, he's on laxitives from the doctor and he's on Anti-Nausea pills .. He drinks water mainly and won't even drink Ensures anymore. He's been very agitated the last 3 days, very irritable , mean in what he says to me, and I know it's not him, it's the sickness and the morphine. but God it hurts, I would like to speak to someone who is going or has gone through this.. The doctor has put him on Ativan to help also.. He's of course at home with me, and hopefully he's able to pass away here, as is his wishes also. .Thanks for listening ♥

Hi Valerie,

I am so sorry your and your hubby are going through this ordeal. While I've not taken care of my husband in such a manner, I did take care of my mother-in-law and father through Hospice. My mother-in-law was in my home and died here, while my father stayed with my mother, and I was one of the cargivers. My father's personality changed as the illness became progressively worse. He became meaner. We knew it was the pain and medicine talking, not dad.

We have a Caregiver forum that you may want to post in, and I'm sure you will be able to find people who can help you through this difficult time. In the meantime, I do know that the Ativan (I'm not sure I spelled that correctly), did help relieve some of my father's anxiety. And, at any time, if you do not believe the medicine is strong enough or effective, don't hesitate to call your hubby's nurse and discuss it. No matter what time of the day or night, they will respond to you immediately, and no questions are too small for them. They are there to help you--there are even support counselors at many of the home palliative care teams.

You ask all the questions you need here, too. We will support you in any and every way we can.

Take care,

Konnie

[Valerie B]

My husband lost his battle with Cancer at home on the 29th August/10

..I thank you for your kind words.. and yes I had a wonderful Palliative Team..

We have our faith, and the Lord gave us a Peace, that only could of been from him, and it got us through. .Now he is singing with the Angles, and one day we'll meet again.. Thankyou for this site, it really helped me , and I got comfort from you kindness. ♥

[ModKonnie]

My husband lost his battle with Cancer at home on the 29th August/10

..I thank you for your kind words.. and yes I had a wonderful Palliative Team..

We have our faith, and the Lord gave us a Peace, that only could of been from him, and it got us through. .Now he is singing with the Angles, and one day we'll meet again.. Thankyou for this site, it really helped me , and I got comfort from you kindness. ♥

Oh Valerie,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Yes, I understand how faith guides us during these ordeals. I am so glad you came here. Please feel free to post as often as you'd like. You can tell us all about your hubby if and when you are ready to.

Are you getting any type of grief counseling through your Palliative Team or church? Do you have family support?

We are here for you,

Konnie