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Missing my Dad


Tennisfan

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My dad underwent surgery on Nov 27. Everything seemed to be going well with the recovery. But then things took a very bad turn on Dec 3rd. He passed away on Dec 4th.

Lost my mom many years ago and I just become so much closer to my father. He was my strength. Just his presence, being able to talk to him was the comfort I needed.

I think I’m living in denial. Hallucinating that he’s going to be back in day or two. Imagining that he will just call me later today. I’m reliving memories in 3D.

I’m afraid to cry, because that will make me realize that the loss is real.

 

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My first post here-just joined seconds ago. I lost my Dad 11.17.16...my hugs go out to you. I just got to teh point of remembering a memory and smiling-but tonight is tears after a dream last night.

I still want to call him..to email him...to text him...and expect him. It doesn't go away-for me at least so far.

 

Cry-the loss is real.

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Dear Tennisfan,

I'm very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences. It is a horrible shock to lose a beloved dad. It does feel surreal and I know its hard to accept.  Please know we are all here and thinking of you. Just do whatever you feel you need to get by each moment. There is no right way for wrong way to grieve. I was horribly raw for a long time and even now a year later there are moments of disbelief.  It is so tough.

Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Dear Swoopie and Reader,

Thank You for your kind words.

I suppose we can never recover. Ever. We just adapt. The pain and loss is real and doesn’t diminish. It just manifests itself in different ways.

 Hugs.

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TF-it is so odd. It is like we are instantly inducted into some non secret group with semi exclusive membership. No matter what we say, it is not wrong or right. We all just get it. I hate it but it has opened me up to a world of sharing with people all around me. You just need to say the password... "Yeah-I know.." and once we whisper a touch of our story we can start sharing safely..

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@Swoopie, well put and so true.

It’s not a group anyone wishes to be in. But nothing binds people closer than grief. It’s definitely an emotion that brings out the best in people and probably the most sincere emotion.

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I have a growing terror of losing my Mom. I know it is going to happen. It also frustrates me she isn't as sad as I am and doesn't want to talk about sadness-...which maybe means she is more so. I saw her claw back from the edge.

After just a day this group has helped me a lot but I don't want to share how it happened and I found out.

Hugs to all on a tough day...and thank you for sharing your pain, strength and weakness...and especially your stories.

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danielleelizabeth

I have a similar story to yours, unfortunately. My dad just passed away, on 12/27/17. My mother passed away 8 years ago. I am 25. My dad and I were always very close, but we grew soo much closer after my mom's death. I don't have any siblings, it was just me and my dad. He was my whole world, the person i told everything to. He did everything for me. I honestly do not even know how i'm living right now, but I am. It was unexpected and it hasn't really hit me yet I don't think... I keep thinking he went on vacation or that he's going to show up eventually. My brain doesn't comprehend that he's gone forever. The road ahead of me definitely scares me a bit. 

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It's been a month since my Dad died. I feel the same. I still feel like he will answer the phone if I call their house. That he just popped out to some store and he's going to walk in the door with some silly story about whatever happened while he's been out running an errand. That it was just a mistake that the hospital made and he really didn't just suddenly slip away from us.  

We've had his funeral.  I saw him laying peacefully.  He's been cremated.  And I still feel like it's just a big mistake.  

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