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yuyu

Christmas is coming.......

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Hi Guys,

First timer here! My plan is to spend my Christmas in the memorial garden beside my wife, I would like solo but her family will come also.

Life sucks! Time machine please!!! Shout out to my wife!!! ILOVEYOU!!!!! 

Sending my prayers and comfort to all who shares the same feeling as I do. Never give up!  I love you all

Merry Christmas 

 

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Hi yuyu, Nice to see you here again.  I have been MIA on here myself lately. Family situation that is calm for now, and, not surprisingly, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue,  due to my grieving and added stress of life demands. I guess it proves that self care and balancing things better is for my benefit.

I think spending Christmas with your wife in the memorial garden is a great idea. Even though you prefer doing it solo, having her family also there, and sharing your grieving and memories, is  a telling of the true spirit of the holiday.

I quite agree that life sux, in losing our beloveds. Nothing we can do about it except somehow, someway, keep putting one foot in front of the other. A time machine that can go back in time and also fast forward us into the future , closer to our time of demise, sounds wonderful.

Merry Christmas, prayers, love and God's blessings to you as well!

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Yuyu,

Good to hear from you again.  I hope you find comfort in the memorial garden, even while her family looks for comfort also.

KMB,

Wow, I had no idea you've been going through all that.  I'm glad your family situation is calm now, and I wish you well with taking care of yourself.  I pray your chronic fatigue recovers as you take care of you first and keep that balance.  I send you my love and prayers.

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Yes. Christmas is so very close and I find myself falling apart more often than usual. Nothing seems to help right now so I'm just going with it. Doing my best and will be visiting Lauri's grave tomorrow. 

Just got the results from a complete physical this week. I am as healthy as I can be. Younger than my age as my doctor says. Damn genetics will have me living into my 90s.

I have a very strong desire to do something different for work. I am fighting it right now but hard to ignore it.

Main thing is I miss Lauri so much and all the time. It's almost impossible to deal with at all.

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On 12/20/2017 at 4:30 PM, yuyu said:

Hi Guys,

First timer here! My plan is to spend my Christmas in the memorial garden beside my wife, I would like solo but her family will come also.

Life sucks! Time machine please!!! Shout out to my wife!!! ILOVEYOU!!!!! 

Sending my prayers and comfort to all who shares the same feeling as I do. Never give up!  I love you all

Merry Christmas 

 

I feel you; while it will be the 2nd Christmas without my Charles, it seems like the first one.   I have no thoughts or feelings on last year's Christmas; it's as if I wasn't there in mind or body - it's a total blank.  This year will be difficult again; the presents not brought; the chair not sat in; the memories of past Christmases that threaten to suck the joy out of the entire day. But somehow I will get through it; may even raise a smile between the tears.  I thank God for the Christmases we did spend together; perhaps light a candle in his memory; cry; or even start a tradition in his memory.  I believe there's Hope in purpose and I'll try not to dwell on the loss but remember the inspiration he had on us all.  I'll practice the 3-part happiness rule.  That is find:

  • 1) something to do; (I'll spend the day with family)
  • 2) someone to love (my children and grandchildren) and
  • 3) something to look forward to (what would Charles want us to do now)

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and hoping the coming year will be just a little better than this one.

 

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Francine,

I'm glad you'll be with family.  They're predicting freezing rain and snow so it looks like I'll be alone on Christmas again.  (I can't go ahead of time because I can't bring my dog and I can't leave him alone overnight.)  If the weather predictions clear up, I'll go.

I like your three part rule, good one.

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That's a bummer; and we can't predict the weather, but here's hoping it clears enough so that you can go and be with family.   Either way, I wish you all the best for the upcoming year!

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Thank you!  The took away the freezing rain predictions so I'll try to go, but now they put back the snow predictions...according to the weather it shouldn't stick, but you never know how close or wrong they are.  Hoping for more clarifications in the next two days.  I can take my truck, it'll cost 2 1/2 times as much in gas and I can't pick up my daughter and her husband both in it, but I haven't heard from her yet so don''t know if he's coming or what she has in mind.

You are so right, either way, it'll be a good.  Wishing you all a good Christmas in spite of your grief and all of the changes.

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I also plan to go sit with my husband Christmas Day since it is the one year anniversary of his death.  I feel like I NEED to.

Wishing everyone the best possible Christmas.  Love you all for listening to me and each other.  What a difference talking can make.

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My husband was cremated, we didn't have $ for burial, we didn't even have money for cremation, my sister paid for it.  I kept the ashes with me in our bedroom for two years until I figured what he would want me to do with them, place them on our property where we looked out over our back yard so often, he loved it there, so that's where his ashes lay.  I go out on my patio every day and look over there, where his ashes lay, where our pets are buried...the kids call it "our family burial plot" and someday my ashes will join his.

I hope it brings you comfort to sit with your husband on Christmas day, I pray he joins you in spirit and you know he's there with you.

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Kay, my husband was cremated as well, and since he passed, in June, his ashes are still in the bedroom, I have a warm blanket over the box, he always liked being warm. :) He certainly wouldn't like the weather we've having here today, snowy, cold and windy. Anyway, hard days, these days of Christmas. My sons and I will have a little Charlie Brown Christmas, and watch It's a Wonderful Life, my husband loved that movie, and I feel he will be here watching with us. It's been six months now, this is still so hard it's almost unbelievable. I know it will be okay, but like I said, it's so, so hard. I do wish everyone here days of Peace and love and a  Merry Christmas.

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I still have Kayla’s ashes in the box. I keep them in the backseat of my car next to her purse. Sometimes when I get an oil change or something I feel like a psycho but I just want her to be with me wherever I go

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Djh, there is nothing wrong or weird keeping Kayla in your car. I have a book case bed headboard, and I kept my husband's ashes in the book case shelf right behind my pillow.I  felt comforted that he was somehow still with me at night. I finally spread his ashes on special places on our property in the fall. I went with the feeling that it was time to set him free. He loved nature and spent most of his time outdoors. I feel better sharing him with all that he loved.

Does anyone have any ideas on what to do with the plastic box that the ashes came in? Does that sound morbid to even think about it?  One part of me feels like smashing it and another part of me wonders if I should use it to keep some of his smaller,  prized possessions. I know grieving makes us feel like we are crazy and I feel like I am really going off the deep end, wondering what to do with a plastic box that is manufactured by the thousands for loved ones ashes.

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Stonsie,  My heart feels so much for you, in dealing with tomorrow. How bittersweet and sad for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.  (HUGS)

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3 hours ago, KMB said:

Judy S.--- Hugs and prayers for you and your family tomorrow as well.

You too, and everyone else on here. I hope everyone will be okay, maybe a little better than okay. In any case, this too shall pass. And I know our loved ones are with us.

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It's Christmas Eve.  My first without my dear husband and without my dear mother.  Home alone with just my little doggie.  
Will go to my sisters tomorrow.  She and my BIL and their daughters and families always take care of me.  
I went to the cemetery today.  My dear ones are buried next to each other with just enough room for me between them - and Daddy is on the other side of Moma.  It's wet and cold here.  They both hated cold weather.  :( 

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8 minutes ago, June said:

It's Christmas Eve.  My first without my dear husband and without my dear mother.  Home alone with just my little doggie.  
Will go to my sisters tomorrow.  She and my BIL and their daughters and families always take care of me.  
I went to the cemetery today.  My dear ones are buried next to each other with just enough room for me between them - and Daddy is on the other side of Moma.  It's wet and cold here.  They both hated cold weather.  :( 

My beloved hated cold weather; we moved to a much warmer climate this summer. I loved my four seasons. I think he passed, in part, to let me go back to the comfort of having four seasons. Every day, I told him we had to come back to the northeast. I'm back now...wishing I could still be with him in the comfortable California warmth. He's been cremated and his services are next Saturday. I take comfort in knowing that his ashes will rest next to me, but am sad that he isn't here to celebrate this holiday season with me. He passed just before Thanksgiving, and my heart has been broken ever since.

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Hi Guys,

Again thank you for all your insights and wisdom, we may not see each other in person but in the stars we are connected. 

Merry Christmas and god bless us.

36B67E27-180F-4B75-A216-B1D4D8C09D72.jpeg

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On 12/24/2017 at 8:18 AM, Judy S. said:

Kay, my husband was cremated as well, and since he passed, in June, his ashes are still in the bedroom, I have a warm blanket over the box, he always liked being warm. :) He certainly wouldn't like the weather we've having here today, snowy, cold and windy. Anyway, hard days, these days of Christmas. My sons and I will have a little Charlie Brown Christmas, and watch It's a Wonderful Life, my husband loved that movie, and I feel he will be here watching with us. It's been six months now, this is still so hard it's almost unbelievable. I know it will be okay, but like I said, it's so, so hard. I do wish everyone here days of Peace and love and a  Merry Christmas.

I loved that you put a warm blanket over it, that is so sweet!  I'm sorry you're getting the cold wind and snow, I got a foot of it Wednesday, still have some.  I love that movie too.  Last night I was missing George so much, wishing so much he could watch "A Christmas Story" with me.  :(

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14 hours ago, yuyu said:

Hi Guys,

Again thank you for all your insights and wisdom, we may not see each other in person but in the stars we are connected. 

Merry Christmas and god bless us.

36B67E27-180F-4B75-A216-B1D4D8C09D72.jpeg

Thank you for sharing with us, I hope your day was special.

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Hi guys,

I have scattered Steve's ashes in places where he loved to be.Most of them in the sea in the place where I still windsurfing Western Australia and where I feel he is closest to me.I am camped there on the beach and when I am now on the water and surf a big wave I talk to him and call out for him to look after me.

We were always here over the Xmas season.I am here now on my own but surrounded by my windsurf buddies.They look after me and I don't know what I would have done without them.And my sister back in Holland; without her I would have gone insane.

I have one small box of his ashes left and that goes everywhere with me.At night it is with me in bed and I fall asleep with my hand over the box.

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I've heard you can have ashes made into a diamond, I wish I'd known that before I scattered them all, I would have had one made into a nose stud so I could have him with me all the time.

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I think I will keep scattering bits of Steve's ashes in important places:places that were important to him(and therefore to me). But I will keep a small amount to take with me everywhere I go.It only has to be a spoonful.

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