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My Husband passed away


Mchele

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Hello I recently lost my husband to cancer we have been together for 32 years he truly is my best friend. I held him in my arms as he passed awsy. The pain is so awful Iam just hoping to find others to talk to that are going through the same stuff 

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1 minute ago, Mchele said:

Hello I recently lost my husband to cancer we have been together for 32 years he truly is my best friend. I held him in my arms as he passed awsy. The pain is so awful Iam just hoping to find others to talk to that are going through the same stuff 

So sorry. I suddenly, unexpectedly, lost the love of my life four weeks ago today and while the community I’ve found here is great, it hurts to know there are so many people dealing with this suffering. 

Welcome to the forum — and I hope this journey, and having us along for it, helps, even though we all know the reality is painful in real life. Solidarity helps a bit.

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Human Qrystal

This is my first time trying to help a grieving person, so I apologize if I sound off.  I am very sorry for your loss, losing anyone is hard and grieving is natural. But may I suggest how your relationship with your partner went? Because I want to help you understand your process and tell you it's normal to have these feelings. I am only an adolescent, but I think I can help you, for am I grieving as well. But this isn't about me, it's about you

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Human Qrystal

Michelle, maybe you can talk to me. I particularly don't have a husband because I'm an adolescent, but I have lost a father. 

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9 hours ago, lovingstill said:

So sorry. I suddenly, unexpectedly, lost the love of my life four weeks ago today and while the community I’ve found here is great, it hurts to know there are so many people dealing with this suffering. 

Welcome to the forum — and I hope this journey, and having us along for it, helps, even though we all know the reality is painful in real life. Solidarity helps a bit.

Iam sorry to here that. I lost my husband almost 3weeks ago. Lastnight I woke up because someone was holding my hand but when I opened my eyes no body was there. I think he knows Iam having a hard time

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I'm so sorry.  There are not words adequate, just know I care.  Mine went from heart attack so it was a complete and utter shock.  I was caregiver for my MIL for the last three years of her life when she was bedridden with cancer, she was my best friend back then and the loss was very hard, it's like we grieved a bit at a time as it was anticipatory.

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I'm so sorry that you have to find us. I loss my husband to leukemia when he was 22 years old. It is awful. Very awful. I wasn't there to hold him or see him during his last fight. I hate myself for it. It's been a little over a year and my heart aches every time, I think of him. 

I also felt my husband holding my hand one night. I could actually feel pressure and my fingers spread open. I believe he is there with you. He will always be. Nowadays I still feel my husband when I am so overwhelmed with daily living. He'd pop into my dreams in the wee hours of the early morning to do something totally silly just to make me laugh. I'd laugh in my sleep from him tickling my neck like he always does. I also wake up laughing too! Believe what you feel. You know the feeling when you get when your husband walks into a room...the feeling of lifting that heaviness off your chest...the feeling of comfort. You will feel him.

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On 12/16/2017 at 5:31 AM, Mchele said:

Iam sorry to here that. I lost my husband almost 3weeks ago. Lastnight I woke up because someone was holding my hand but when I opened my eyes no body was there. I think he knows Iam having a hard time

Sometimes they think of creative ways to let us know they are here with us.

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On 12/15/2017 at 7:56 PM, Mchele said:

Hello I recently lost my husband to cancer we have been together for 32 years he truly is my best friend. I held him in my arms as he passed awsy. The pain is so awful Iam just hoping to find others to talk to that are going through the same stuff 

Mchele.  You found the right place.  There are few places on earth where everyone will understand what you are feeling and going through.  Others out there will mean well, but they will say or do the most stupidest things.  Here, everyone has had real experiences.  We've all experienced the real emotions, pain, sorrow, and shock to say the least.

Share with us what you like so that you can get it off your chest.  Many here will be able to chime in to shed light on your thoughts and feelings.   My condolences to you.

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On 12/15/2017 at 9:56 PM, Mchele said:

Hello I recently lost my husband to cancer we have been together for 32 years he truly is my best friend. I held him in my arms as he passed awsy. The pain is so awful Iam just hoping to find others to talk to that are going through the same stuff 

I am so sorry for your loss and know the pain only too well.  You're correct; the pain is unbearable and there will be times that you may not want to participate in life, I certainly didn't.  When my Charles left this earth, it felt as if my soul was crushed and my spirit, destroyed.  My heart was literally ripped and torn out of my chest and shredded into a million pieces and the pain; the pain was too much to bear; no pain had I ever experienced could compared to this pain and every time I breathed, it was there.  Until I lost my Charles,  I never knew real pain; the true meaning of real heartbreak; never knew how lonely I could be; never knew my life could change so much; never knew my heart could hurt so much, never knew I could be on this earth without him; never knew this unbearable emotional pain - never knew until God took him away.   And as much comfort I received from friends and family, they didn't truly understand how I felt; until it happens to them, until they experience the pain, they just don't know.

Cancer is an ugly disease and there's no rhyme or reason for it.  It takes its aim and shoots; without a thought; without a care in the world.  It has no feeling; it doesn’t care if you are young or old, evil or kind.   It doesn’t care.  It just takes and takes and what are your options?  You get bitter or better.  Unfortunately, it's that simple; you either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person or allow it to tear you down; that's your only option.  And it's so damn hard and I truly get it; so I hope you dance like there's nobody watching; love like you'll never be hurt and sing like there's nobody listening and live (for yourself and him) like it's heaven on earth.   If you do that, than cancer will never be able to cripple the love you and your husband shared or corrode the faith that you two will someday  meet again; or destroy the peace within you that because he lived, you are a better person;  or the memories that you both made and shared together; or invade your soul or steal eternal life or conquer your spirit.   So you see,  in the end, cancer doesn't win.   You never know how strong you are until strong is the only option you have.  True, losing your husband to cancer will change you, it will sculpt you into someone who understands more deeply, hurt more often, appreciate more quickly, cry more easily, hope more desperately, love more openly and live more passionately.

I hope you continue to post here - we'll all here on this darken journey to help each other along the way.  Know that my prayers are always with you.

 

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12 hours ago, Francine said:

I am so sorry for your loss and know the pain only too well.  You're correct; the pain is unbearable and there will be times that you may not want to participate in life, I certainly didn't.  When my Charles left this earth, it felt as if my soul was crushed and my spirit, destroyed.  My heart was literally ripped and torn out of my chest and shredded into a million pieces and the pain; the pain was too much to bear; no pain had I ever experienced could compared to this pain and every time I breathed, it was there.  Until I lost my Charles,  I never knew real pain; the true meaning of real heartbreak; never knew how lonely I could be; never knew my life could change so much; never knew my heart could hurt so much, never knew I could be on this earth without him; never knew this unbearable emotional pain - never knew until God took him away.   And as much comfort I received from friends and family, they didn't truly understand how I felt; until it happens to them, until they experience the pain, they just don't know.

Hi Francine.  I love how you can express your feelings so well and so beautifully with your choice of words.   Thank you for showing us some colors for our grief.

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