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I lost my brother and recently my father


julupabrown

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I recently lost my father in October and it's been really hard. He had a heart attack and it was very unexpected because he was only 54 years old, I'm only 28, and I thought my dad was going to be with me for at least 20 years. We were extremely close and talked all the time. I find myself feeling isolated but hiding it from friends and family. I am not sure how to go about feeling full and happy again. My father was a single parent and raised my brother and I. He worked so hard for everything he had and I just can't understand why he won't be able to enjoy it. Nine years ago we lost my brother in Afghanistan, he took he's own life, so we have seen our fair share of sadness and I thought that his death would be the hardest thing I would have to deal with. 

I have a great partner and he has been attempting to make me feel better but just isn't getting it. How do I feel better? I feel like i'm carrying around an immense amount of grief and it can be overwhelming at times. I just feel like I am on this isolated Island now that my brother and my father are gone, most of my memories as a child involve the three of us.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing one person is hard enough -- I can't imagine losing two.

I recently lost my incredible life partner, and I don't think I could have asked for a better soul to share a life with me, but I grieve this loss every day. I'm thinking of you and sending you positive energy,.

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Dear julupabrown,

My deepest condolences and sympathies. I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved father so suddenly is very shocking. The pain and sorrow will take a long time to come to terms with. Please be kind to yourself and just take it moment by moment for now. If you feel like it, maybe consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group. I also find these websites helpful in understanding my grief. I too lost my father in October of last year.

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

Tiny Buddha

GriefShare

Grief in Common

There is a lot on your young shoulders. Please know we are all here to listen. Take care. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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Dear julupabrown,

I'm so sorry for both of your devastating losses.  It is hard to know what to say.  We are all here because we are grieving and struggling so we understand.  I understand you feel on this isolated island as thats how i feel almost one year after I lost my mother.  I felt it immediately after and I still feel it now.  i think it will take a long time for that to change..I also think it is unrealistic for you to expect to feel better.  It is too soon and too raw and with the added pain of losing your brother I can understand why you feel so alone.  Its true it feels like there is no one to share the memories of your childhood and the 3 of you together.  I get that.  I miss the relationship I had with my mom.  The "us".  There is no more us.  I have begun therapy as I felt I was spiralling downward in a deep depression as time went on.  Instead of things improving they got worse.  So I decided to seek help so I can start to talk about it.  I think it will help.  I agree with reader about seeking a support group or grief counselling/therapy.  Its very very hard to go through this.  You need to speak to someone who knows what it feels like.  We are also here to read your words.  So sorry for your loss.

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