Haylee - my best friend

[DKM]

I have never posted anything on a support group website that probably tells more about me than talking about the loss of my best friend Haylee.   She was 16 years old and I had her since she was a puppy.   She would go outside without a leash, come when called and well disciplined.     She met me at the door every evening with tail wagging and a few good howls in the mix.  I knew she loved me.

I put her down on Monday, November 27th as the vet said there was nothing else we could do for her...I am SO grateful for the years I had with her but there is this hole in my heart that won't leave.

I spent the last 2 days in bed with the flu and all I did was sleep and cry.     I don't know where to go with my pain other than release it in this forum.

Any advise would be welcome.

I thank you.

[AJWCat]

Hi @DKM, I am so sorry to hear about Haylee and welcome you here - we all know and totally understand your pain and grief. How lucky and wonderful that you had so much time w/ her but it is never really enough... they make life so joyful. And you clearly had a very deep bond. That does not just go away. Of course there is a hole in your heart.  But she is in heart all the same.

My advice to you is that you are feeling totally normal and you need to give yourself time to miss her and grieve. It is just how it is. I wish there was a magic pill but there is not. When we lose our pets, we lose everything that we did with them and a lot about life can change. It is traumatic. I lost my cat very suddenly and horribly. I was in shock for a few days and then the grief hit. It has taken my a few months to learn to live with his absence. I wish you peace during this sad time - it will get better, just be patient.    

[DKM]

AJWCat

Thank you so much for sharing and for telling me that this is normal.   I just miss her so.    I'm trying to get through one day at a time as you suggested.  

Thanks again for listening and caring.  

DKM

[JackieJr07]

I’m so sorry for your loss I completely understand how you feel , you’ll have your good days and you’ll have your bad days as time goes on it will get easier so they say I’m still mourning the loss of my dog I had to put him down and it was one of the hardest things to do . I hope and pray that you get through this and welcome we are here for you ! 

[KayC]

DKM,

AJW was spot on.  There's no way around this grief but straight through it, pain and all. It does help to express it, like you're doing here, and know you're heard and understood.  It does two things, it validates your grief (people who are dismissive of our grief telling us to move on are inappropriate in their response).  It also lets you know your grief is normal and you don't need locked up.  Grief continues forever as we always love and miss them, but it doesn't stay in the same intensity (thank God, we couldn't handle that kind of pain forever!), it evolves as we begin to adjust, and we learn to carry it inside of us.  

Jackie is right also, grief comes in waves and we learn to ride them.  Some days will be good and some days we'll feel back to square one, that's all normal.

I'm sorry you're sick on top of it.    (((hugs)))