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BamBam807

Completely abandoned after losing my mom

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My mom passed away on November 15, 2017. My mom and I, were truly the best of friends. I am totally lost now, shattered beyond belief. I just feel completely numb all over. Everything seems like a dream, like it's moving in super slow motion, and not at all real. My eyes and face hurt terribly from crying constantly. My head pounds like it's literally about to explode, and I can't sleep at all. As if losing my mom isn't bad enough, I'm now left all alone in the world. I truly have no clue what to do from here. The couple of relatives I do have left are very distant, and apparently want no part of me. My one sibling and I, never really got along well at all. We're really nothing more than strangers at this point. I don't have any friends. Add to that, I'm apparently getting the blame (by my so-called relatives) for my mother's deteriorating health problems, which contributed to her passing. My mom was the only person I had left in my life. I'm so lonely being in the house without my mom, it's brutal. I feel completely helpless and hopeless at this point. I start a new job on Friday night, but I have no clue how I'll even be able to get through it in this condition. I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm desperate, and I'm totally broken. I suppose, I'm just running on pure shock right about now. I don't know how else to explain it. It's such a strange and bizarre feeling, though. I don't feel 'real' anymore, not at all like me.     

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Dear BamBam807,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its really hard right now. Try be to gentle with yourself. There are so many raw emotions during this difficult time. Everything you are feeling and thinking is natural and normal. These are very early days and its just a horribly rough time. I hope you will reach out to someone you can trust. There is help in the community and through church.  Please know you are not alone. We are all here for you. And if you want, consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group. I also found these websites helpful. What's Your Grief and The Grief Healing Blog.

Sending you all my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you.

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Dear BamBam807,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I felt everything you felt when I lost my mom too. exactly how you describe it.  I too am estranged from my family and sister who I was never close to.  10 months later its still very very hard, so believe me I know how you feel.  Lost is how I feel in the world every day.  Its not better than it was, its a bit different.  Because I had no one to share my grief with, I spiralled into deep depression and became withdrawn.  As the months went on it got harder for me instead of better which I thought after 6 months it would improve.  Holding all my feelings in created other problems for me.  2 days ago I decided to seek help in the form of therapy.  Even though it was so painful talking about it all, it helped and I'm going to continue.  I tell you this so you can look for the signs of depression and try not to do what I did which is do nothing about it.  I think right now you're in shock.  Shock for me lasted 3 months maybe 4?  Then reality started to sink in and then came depression and flash backs.  Seeing as you're on your own and you appear not to have anyone close enough to you that you can talk to, maybe you could think about a grief group? or therapy?  You need support.  Losing a mother changes your life.  So sorry for your loss.

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Thank you both so much for the very kind words, I can't express how appreciative I am. This is my first time reaching out like this, so I'm extremely grateful. I'm frightened to think where I go, and what I do from here. You go through life thinking your mom will always be by your side, and forever be that safety blanket whenever you need it. I'll certainly have to consider a grief support group. The loneliness and silence, are just far too much to handle alone. I know the most difficult days are still ahead of me, but knowing there are some decent people left in the world, gives me a glimmer of hope. Really does mean a lot!

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Dear BamBam807,  we are here and reading your words.  This site has helped me realise that all my feelings, many others feel the same stuff after losing their mother.  Thinking of you.

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