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Please help - I Lost my Best Friend Today


brokenheart02

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brokenheart02

I just lost my best friend yesterday and I can't seem to deal with her being gone.  I am experiencing so much pain and regret.  She was a beautiful 8 year old german shepherd who touched everyone's lives, I was so proud to call her my best friend.  Out of the blue, she beagn to show signs that something was wrong.  Two days ago she started to pant very heavily, wouldn't eat, and when she did she would vomit or have diarrhea.  We rushed her in right away and the vet said her heart seemed very strong and she may just have a little bug.  I felt okay when they took her.  I just figured we would pick her up at night.  They said they were going to do a few x-rays and an ultrasound on her.  Later that day after constant calling, we finally talk to the vet, he said they found a large mass on her spleen.  He said she was also anemic due to blood loss.  He said they stopped the bleeding gave her iv fluids (she was dehydrated) and that she was resting comfortable.  Are only option was to either euthanize her or to have a splenectomy performed on her.  We love our friend so much, if there was a chance to save her life we wanted to do it.  We opted to have a splenectomy done.  We were assured that a dog can live without there spleen and that there was a good chance this mass was not even cancerous.  Our major concern was not the dog surviving surgey but afterwards.  In our hearts we knew she would survive but at this vet facility they go home and we were concerned about our dog not having 24 hour care after such a major surgery.  They assured us this would not be an issue that they have monitors, cameras, etc, linked to the homes and they would be there in a minute if somethign was not right.  They also told us that staff woukd come in at 11 pm to check on all animals there.  The next day came (Friday, July 2nd, 2010) and we went to see our dog in the morning.  She was so happy to see us but agitated.  She just wanted us to take her home.  They put us in a private room and she just kept yelping and kept looking for a way out.  I called her name she came over to lick me and i told her she woudl be okay.  That we would be taking her home soon.  I told her she was going to be okay, she would have a little surgery to make her all better again.  My mom had them take her back because she was so jumpy we didn't want her getting so over excited before surgery.  We actually were considering to take our dog to another facility that offered 24 hour care but this place told us not to move her that if the mass ruptured she could bleed out and die instantly.  So we left her there.  We were under the impression that the surgery woukd be done right away, but they told us the vet had a doctor appointments so all surgeries woud be done at 3pm.  We felt uneasy about such a major surgery being done so late but we just wanted her to live and was told moving her could be fatal for her.  So we left our friend.  When 3 o'clock came I got so sick.  I didn't know what to do.  I called my mom to find out if she heard something yet but she said they told her the surgery would be an hour.  Finally my phone rang at 3:48pm I thought it was my mom telling me she made it out of surgery okay.  But all I heard was my mom crying telling me they can't do nothing for her.  I didn't understand, I still don't understand.  We were told, the doctor did another x-ray on her while she was sedated for surgery and it showed another tumor near her heart.  All he said to my mother was there was no hope and did we want her to be grought back from the anthesthesia to be euthanized or did we want her to be euthanized while under the anesthesia.  My mom told them she need to call home.  We were all shocked and hysterical.  Quickly (withing minutes) my mom called back but they said the doctor was in another surgery already.  She begged them to not wake her up, because we could not have her in pain or brought back just to have her die.  It hasn't even been a full day since her death but the pain is so hard I can't bear it.  I lied to my best friend.  I told her she would be okay but she wasn't.  We went to see her, and there she was lying on the floor with a blanket on her.  I hugged her and tried to wake her up but I couldn't.  All I can see is my doggie laying there.  The vet never even came out and talked to us or told us what this x-ray showed.  I just don't understand how one day we were told this surgery woudk give her a shot and the next day, no surgery at all - but she was euthanized.   I don't even know if they did this to her while she was sedated or if she woke upand they euthanized her right there on the floor where we saw her.  I am devasted by this and I can't stop crying.  The pain is so unreal.  I feel like I let my best friend down.  We all feel guilty.  We keep wondering if this vet was running late (since the place closed at 7) and he just let our dog go since he just went on to his next surgery.  Did our dog really need to be euthanized so quickly.  This was the only option he gave us and in the mere seconds we had to make a decision.  I know we can't bring her back but did we do the right thing?  It's like in the morning she was alive and jumling around and now she was lifeless on the floor laying there.  All I keep thinking was there more that could have been done.  If someone has dealt with this before can you please help me, I can't stop crying as I am typing this.  I let my best friend down and I feel like I can't go on.

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butterfly13

Your story broke my heart and I am so sorry to hear about your dog.I understand you feeling that you let your best friend down,but you were only doing what you felt was best for her,you didn't want to see her suffer.I went through a very similar situation with my cat.As I was driving him to the vet he was crying and crying.I kept telling him he would be ok and would be coming back home with me before he knew it.He never got to come home,he died at the vet and after them bringing him back they told me that he would most likely die again and recommended me to let him go,so I did and it killed me inside.I often wondered if I made that decsion too quickly,but at the time all I knew was that I didn't want my baby to suffer.You will never forget your dog,they are family,but time does soften the pain a little,I promise.Just remember all the love you gave that lucky dog.If you didn't love her so much,you wouldn't be feeling so sad now.You are in my prayers!;)

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shesgonexoxo

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's only been 4 days for me since I had to put my dog to sleep. Her name was Pebbles, she was 18 yrs. old and she was my life. Around 2 a.m. on Friday morning she started panting and having a real hard time breathing so I took her to a 24 hr. ER vet where she had an x-ray done. Working in the healthcare field I thought she had pneumonia and would just need antibiotics but I was wrong. I could tell it wasn't good. The vet told me her heart was very enlarged and had a lot of fluid around it. She was going in to CHF(congestive heart failure). I was shocked she never had any heart issues in all these years, why now? My plan was to take her home and bring her back in the morning to have an ultrasound done of her heart. The vet gave her some lasix to help with the excess fluid. As we got ready to leave Pebbles colapsed on the floor next to my feet, the vet immediately took her to the back room. The assistant told me that she was having a massive heart attack and asked if I wanted Pebbles resuscitated. My first reaction was "YES" afterall noone said she was going to die. After they resuscitated her they put her on oxygen and hooked her up to an EKG. The vet came out and told me that the EKG showed that shes had several tiny heart attacks recently but this one was massive and the next one would do her in. My heart sank to my toes. What was I going to do, she's going to die. The vet said she probably wouldn't make it through the night and that she would suffer and be in pain. I didn't want Pebbles to suffer, she didn't deserve that. So I made the decision to put her to sleep, it happened so fast. The next thing I know I was holding my poor babys lifeless body in my arms, it was the toughest thing I've ever had to do. So I know how you feel, I just hope with time we both can overcome the pain and tears that we suffer from our loss. Your in my prayers!:)

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.- Facebook and Twitter Integration- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it. - Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible. 

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other. 

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

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