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Millie ronan

I just can’t stop crying

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I am so, so sorry, Millie. I have lost many pets over the years and I know your pain and grieving. Our pets are our family, who love us unconditionally and bring us companionship and joy. We grieve for them just like we grieve with human loss. The last pet I lost was in May of 2006. I spent 3 solid days laying in bed and crying. Wishing I could crawl in a hole and die too. My husband stayed home for 2 days and cried with me. By the 3rd day, we both knew he couldn't miss any more work and I was left alone. It was tough being alone during the day, missing our dog following me everywhere. I would pace the rooms, seeing all his toys and looking out all the windows hoping to just see him out in the yard. It takes a very long time to adapt to them not being here. My consolation is my belief they have their special place in Heaven and all our pets will be waiting to join us when we get called home ourselves.

Almost 4 months after we lost our dog back then, my husband was home recuperating from surgery. He did not like being laid up. So, to help lift his spirits and ease the recovery and boredom, I brought home another puppy for him. I was still grieving, but I wanted to help my husband and I knew another pup would do the trick. That dog (JT) is now over 11 and he is my comfort and reason for getting up and having a purpose, since my husband passed away last year. Along with Squeaks, my cat, who is over 12 now.

You will see your fur baby again someday. Eventually, your memories will bring a smile and you will cherish the gift and blessing of having had that fur baby in your life. I believe all of our pets come into our lives for specific reasons, if not only to teach us more about unconditional love, loyalty and the true meaning of friendship.

 

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Millie I am so sorry for your pain...I know how hard it is, and so does everyone here. I wish I could say something to make it less painful for you...We love them so much and when they're gone our lives fall apart. It is so hard to accept we're never going to see them again. I lost my kitty about 3 months ago and I am still crying over her. But at least I am able to function most days in my everyday tasks. It does get better with time and I've been told so. Try to be with people who understand, if you have any , a friend, a family member, even a grief counselor. Grieving is a process, take it one day at a time and be patient with yourself. And write here your thoughts and feelings, because everyone here understands.                 One thought that comforts me is that our babies are still with us, in spirit form. And when we talk to them they hear us. I wish you strength and healing.

 

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Hi Millie, totally understand. I am about 3 1/2 months now from losing my cat. While it does get easier, that is the good news, the first few weeks are pretty terrible as you know. 

I lost so much more than my cat when he passed away. I lost my rituals (with him) my joy, my daily patterns and habits and unconditional support system. So it really upends your whole life doesn't it? 

All I can is I totally understand, you are not alone. I hope you are doing okay. You are grieving and it just takes time to process. As you said, "I can't beleive." It is hard to believe. So we slowly recover day by day and learn to live without them and treasure the memories.

 

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Millie,

I'm so sorry, I've lost many many pets in my lifetime and it never gets easier.  We continue missing them the rest of our lives but the pain and intensity ease in time.  I look forward to being with them again, and like KMB, believe we will be reunited. 

 

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Thank u all for ur replies reading stories on here have helped a lot at this moment I just feel like the grief is getting worse and I am finding it hard to eat or sleep I think the people around me think I’m mental I literally can’t stop crying I have to go back to work cos I need to pay my bills but every time I come home and my girl is not there to greet me It starts all over again I feel like my heart is actually aching it feels painful people tell me I have to eat but I don’t think I really care if anything happens to me 

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@Millie ronan, I know how dark this time is, I really do. I went through exactly what you are going through. I guess I was "lucky" as we were on vacation so instead of going out and doing things I just sat around, watched t.v. and cried. So going to work cannot be fun. That said, I think it would break your girl's heart to see you like this. Having you smiling and happy is what she would want - what she was used to.

I don't expect you to have joy. I am 3+ months in and I have periods of normalness and happiness but the joy I got from our cat is gone. HOWEVER, you have to take care of yourself. Eat. Be kind to yourself at every turn. You are grieving. But go to work and do what you need to do. Don't let this tragedy become even worse. Don't worry about what people think. People often do not understand when you have a deep bond with a pet and you lose them as we do here.

I know your hearts aches. Please take care of yourself to honor your sweet girl. And take it one day, one moment at a time. And if it helps, write out all of your feelings. Write her a letter. Get it all out. It is a process and you will heal ever so slowly. I am sorry for your pain!  

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Millie I know what it's like, we all do.When our pets leave our lives fall apart There is no sense of purpose , neither any sense of self left. And the pain is like nothing else. I wish I could tell you there was a way around the pain but I haven't found any yet. You're not crazy, you're grieving and the crying is part of it. After my kitty passed I couldn't sleep either and I barely ate, I couldn't see the reason to do so. We have to take it one day at a time until the pain becomes bearable and then we can slowly rebuild our life, piece by piece. I am still in this process, it isn't easy. But the pain will get better.

Please  take care of yourself. Do it for your baby's sake, she wouldn't want to see you wasting away.

I hope you find healing soon.

 

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It is when we least feel like it that we most need our self care.  Try to take baby steps, even if, especially if you don't feel like it.  Eat something healthy, take a walk, drink some water.  Try to watch a comedy, laughter is good for the soul.  I know, at first you won't even be able to concentrate or focus, but eventually, just maybe, you might be able to for a moment.  This does take time.  I hope when you return to work it will be a distraction for eight hours a day, that helped me a lot when my husband died, even though I had a hard time with focus, burst into tears and had to retreat to the bathroom, and made mistakes.  I was lucky that my boss and coworkers were so kind and understanding and I hope yours will be too.

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On 27/11/2017 at 11:51 PM, Millie ronan said:

This is my first time writing anything like this but I just can’t stop crying cos my fur baby died 3 weeks ago I miss her so much and can’t believe I’m never going to see her again 

I am am so sorry that you lost ur husband it’s such a terrible thing grief we go through when our loved ones leave us I honestly never ever imagined my life withought my cat even though she was 17 and we had many wonderful funny years together all I can think about is the day she died and not the wonderful years we had 

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It'll be like this for a while, but someday the fresh pain will fade and the memories will resurface more pleasant.  My cat is 22 and it scares me the thought of losing her, I already lost my other cat 1 1/2 years ago and am still missing her.  However long we have them is never long enough.  :(

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@KayC, it is never enough! Who knows your kitty could live years longer!

I am finally able to allow myself to have some of the great memories of my cat. My husband took some funny pictures of me asleep over the years, and him sleeping on my head! He was always snuggling with me somehow. It has taken almost 4 months to get to this point. I love my memories of him - I am so glad to finally have something good squeeze through, and not always just our last hours. :( 

My husband can't think of him for long though, still too painful he says. I think I have been much more in touch with my process. 

 

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I am glad for you AJWCat, that you got to this point! I think in time these happy memories will come more and more often and make you smile.I hope your husband gets there too.

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I ditto Maria's response...it is good that you are processing your grief, all in due time.

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