I lost my mom 3 months ago..

[MelissaMonster]

I lost my mom 3 months ago to lung cancer.. One day she was home and getting better, then 4 days later she was gone.. I'm the youngest of my siblings and I'm have an extremely hard time coping. It seems like the more time that passes, the more it hurts. I find myself dreading getting out of bed, having anxiety being around people even my husband or family members, and having thoughts of hurting myself frequently.. 

[reader]

Dear Melissa,

My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know the pain and sorrow is unbearable. It is hard to accept that our parent could have passed. I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your feelings.

I hear you, but please know there is love and support out there. Please consider reaching out to talk to a grief counsellor, joining a support group or doing some more reading. I find these websites helpful:

What's Your Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

GriefShare

The Grief Recovery Method

Legacy.com

We are all here to listen and support you anyway we can. Sending all you all my thoughts and prayers. Thinking of you.

[sadandlost]

Dear Melissamonster,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I say this all the time on this forum.  Losing a mother is beyond devastating.  I never knew how bad it could be until it happened to me.  I was always super close to my mom so I knew when she was gone it would be very hard.  You can't know until you go through it how brutal it will be.  Its 10 months for me now and things got worse at 8 months.  I became more depressed and unable to cope.  What it looks like on the surface and what it is like internally is very different.  I too don't like being around people.  I don't talk about it but no one really asks anyway.  At 10  months you are supposed to have moved on??  How does one move on?  Panic and anxiety is normal because of the shock and trying to process the shock.  Please don't hurt yourself.  Please seek outside help if you have these feelings.  I know its hard to talk about it.  Use this forum to express yourself so you won't feel so alone.  When you read other peoples stories you'll see its the same for most of us struggling in a very deep way.  It is easier to talk to strangers about how you feel so please come back and write more.  We are reading your words.

[Whit B]

Dear Melissa, 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The prior responses are right. We're all here because we hurt and I guess because we need to be heard. While our experiences may differ, know that many can relate to the pain you feel. I found this site soon after I unexpectedly lost my amazing mom, my very best friend. She was my absolute heart. It was unexpected, heartbreaking and so shocking. It still is, last week was a year.

I reached out to this site because I needed to know that people have felt this pain and are getting through it. People are getting through it.  The pain is intense and the grief can be disorienting. It's hard to see beyond it. You can get through this, one day at a time.

If you need individual or group counseling, please seek it out and do that for yourself. There is no shame in caring for yourself. Especially now. If you need to cry, do that. Get your emotions out in as healthy a way as you can. If you can, try to refocus from the pain to gratitude and memories of your mom. If you pray, do that.

Someone dear to me told me early on that my mom would want me to be okay. She would. She would want me to be okay. That sticks with me when I'm at my lowest. You can probably say the same to yourself, when it's the hardest. It is difficult to know how to get an okay place now, while you're grieving because you probably don't feel much like yourself.  But the more you get up each day and get into a routine, the more normal things will hopefully feel and the better you can hopefully deal with your emotions.

A Grief Share group at www.griefshare.org has been helpful to me for support. Take this one day at a time, one moment at a time. Please seek the help you need and find a counselor and/ or group to talk to about your feelings. 

Praying for your peace and strength.