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Ema

2 Months Later

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It's just about 2 months since I said good bye to my dog soulmate of 18 years, an Italian greyhound, Yaffi. I've been doing a little better but still have my episodes of painful grief and loss of her. I've been pulling up some video of her I took this past year and just feel like she should still be here, she's part of me deeply. I told someone at Thanksgiving yesterday about her passing and they asked me why don't I just get another dog!..To that I firmly said that I Im  not ready and that the loss of my furry baby soulmate could never be replaced but that maybe one day I could be open to a new relationship. I think this person didn't expect that but, what are people thinking when they say such thoughtless things?..and this woman had brought her own little dog with her!. Everyone has their own ways I suppose. I still have her food bowls and harness and leash where they've always been. Im just not wanting to put those away. They keep her with me. There's so much going on in the world, I have so much to be grateful for and yet this relationship loss overwhelms me. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but still Im just so sad.  I just havent accepted that shes gone .Im grateful for this site to be able to put out My thoughts and feelings to you all who get it .

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Hi @Ema, its interesting that you shared this as I just posted today about trying to adopt a new cat after losing our guy a little over 3 months ago. We ended up leaving - it was just too soon. I think we were literally trying to re-adopt our cat and of course, we couldn't. We saw a 5 yr. old cat - ours was 5 when we adopted him, so we almost went with that one like a sign or something. We are that lost. He was our constant companion for 10 years and we are still grieving.

So losing your soulmate of 18 years is not just going to be solved by "getting another dog." That was thoughtless. 

I know that we will get another cat (as you are open to another dog) but no other animal will replace them. The new pet will have wonderful qualities but they will be different.

I totally understand how sad you are and get having her things around you still. It is comforting. I have my cat's picture on my desk and his favorite stuffed mouse near my bed. Be patient with yourself as you move through this process. It is terribly painful to not have them anymore. There is so much gratitude for the time we had and yet the pain makes us ache for more time. My thoughts and heart goes out to you.     

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11 hours ago, Ema said:

It's just about 2 months since I said good bye to my dog soulmate of 18 years, an Italian greyhound, Yaffi. I've been doing a little better but still have my episodes of painful grief and loss of her. I've been pulling up some video of her I took this past year and just feel like she should still be here, she's part of me deeply. I told someone at Thanksgiving yesterday about her passing and they asked me why don't I just get another dog!..To that I firmly said that I Im  not ready and that the loss of my furry baby soulmate could never be replaced but that maybe one day I could be open to a new relationship. I think this person didn't expect that but, what are people thinking when they say such thoughtless things?..and this woman had brought her own little dog with her!. Everyone has their own ways I suppose. I still have her food bowls and harness and leash where they've always been. Im just not wanting to put those away. They keep her with me. There's so much going on in the world, I have so much to be grateful for and yet this relationship loss overwhelms me. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but still Im just so sad.  I just havent accepted that shes gone .Im grateful for this site to be able to put out My thoughts and feelings to you all who get it .

Ema I understand you so well and I know everybody here does.... I have a hard time too admitting that my kitty's gone and many times I try to fool myself that she's still somewhere around the house. Their absence is so painful that we try to deny it, to hold on to anything that keeps them still with us. I have kept some clothes with her hair still on them and I am treasuring these. Our babies cannot be replaced with any other pet. I have my kitty's mom and sister , I love them too, but the hole is still so huge....

I am glad you are doing better. The pain will return because the loss is so great, but we learn to live a new life with it. Not that it is easy. Be patient with  yourself.                                              Often  people will say thoughtless or hurtful things, most of them just don't understand and even if they have pets they have a different relationship with them. Only those who have gone through this will understand. It hurts so much but here at least we have each other. I am grateful too for all of you, this forum has helped me tremendously.                                                                                                                                                                        

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12 hours ago, AJWCat said:

There is so much gratitude for the time we had and yet the pain makes us ache for more time.

So true. A whole lifetime would not be enough.

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14 hours ago, Ema said:

It's just about 2 months since I said good bye to my dog soulmate of 18 years, an Italian greyhound, Yaffi. I've been doing a little better but still have my episodes of painful grief and loss of her. I've been pulling up some video of her I took this past year and just feel like she should still be here, she's part of me deeply. I told someone at Thanksgiving yesterday about her passing and they asked me why don't I just get another dog!..To that I firmly said that I Im  not ready and that the loss of my furry baby soulmate could never be replaced but that maybe one day I could be open to a new relationship. I think this person didn't expect that but, what are people thinking when they say such thoughtless things?..and this woman had brought her own little dog with her!. Everyone has their own ways I suppose. I still have her food bowls and harness and leash where they've always been. Im just not wanting to put those away. They keep her with me. There's so much going on in the world, I have so much to be grateful for and yet this relationship loss overwhelms me. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but still Im just so sad.  I just havent accepted that shes gone .Im grateful for this site to be able to put out My thoughts and feelings to you all who get it .

I can't imagine life without a dog, but even so, I usually have an interval before getting another one.  The only exception was when I lost Fluffy and got Lucky, that's because I'd already arranged to pick up Lucky that weekend and didn't know Fluffy was going to die that week.  One doesn't stop the grieving of another, that's for sure, one never replaces another, they're very different!

Take your time with this, if you always leave her leash and bowl out, what's that to anyone else!  There's no way to rush our grief.

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