Members GhostofLight Posted November 22, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2017 The holidays are difficult for us - the ones who belong to this very exclusive club. The club we never wanted to be a part of. Sending you all hugs. You've never met me and you'll probably never meet me, but you've helped me more than you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted November 22, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 22, 2017 Many hugs back to you! We may be virtual strangers, but we all help each other at some level. As social humans, I don't feel we are meant to travel this grief road completely alone. I just don't see how that is possible, if we are to come through the dark tunnel to the other side without going insane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TheVintageOne Posted November 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 23, 2017 I feel the same way! This forum is incredible. I’m always so relieved when I’m having a bad moment and I remember all the folks on this forum and how much they’ve helped me cope. Thinking of you all today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 23, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted November 23, 2017 I hope you've all had a chance to read the articles on coping with holidays, if there's even one suggestion that resonates, it's worth it.http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/11/coping-with-holidays-suggested.html http://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/9038-tips-for-handling-the-holidays/ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/getting-through-the-holidays-when-you-are-newly-bereaved_us_582c7767e4b0466f4579334f? I'm glad we have each other to help us through this. When I was taking care of my MIL the last three years of her life as she was dying of cancer, there were no computers, were no forums, I was truly out on a limb, all alone, as we went through it. Very hard! I am so thankful for this opportunity to share in this journey with all of you this time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members M88 Posted November 23, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 23, 2017 Hugs to you too, GhostofLight, and everyone, I feel the hype around the upcoming holidays is so in our face that we can’t help but think of the depth of our loss, and of a future without our beloved soulmates. I’m currently finding it very difficult to live in just the day, and feel this build up to my 2nd Christmas without my darling, is way tougher than the first I wish I could just skip it altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KavitaHubby Posted November 24, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2017 Virtual Hug to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 24, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted November 24, 2017 11 hours ago, KavitaHubby said: Virtual Hug to everyone. And to you too. And M88, I feel your pain. It takes time to figure out how to "live in the day", you'll get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted November 25, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 25, 2017 On 11/22/2017 at 2:32 PM, GhostofLight said: The holidays are difficult for us - the ones who belong to this very exclusive club. The club we never wanted to be a part of. Sending you all hugs. You've never met me and you'll probably never meet me, but you've helped me more than you know. Thanks! Thanksgiving most difficult for me. The first one without my Charles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted November 26, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 Francine, This was my 2nd. Currently, I don't think it ever gets easier. I was with a few family out of town. Under the surface I was crying, just wishing it was a normal holiday with me being home doing the cooking, for my Ed and the rest, as usual. All I have are the memories of the holiday meals of the past. The pain and sadness is always there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 26, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted November 26, 2017 Those "firsts without" are so hard. I was glad after a year when I had them under my belt, but you're right, KMB, it takes much time before we're more used to this. And being "used to" does not equate with "liking it", but we do get better at living with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Francine Posted November 27, 2017 Members Report Share Posted November 27, 2017 On 11/25/2017 at 6:47 PM, KMB said: Francine, This was my 2nd. Currently, I don't think it ever gets easier. I was with a few family out of town. Under the surface I was crying, just wishing it was a normal holiday with me being home doing the cooking, for my Ed and the rest, as usual. All I have are the memories of the holiday meals of the past. The pain and sadness is always there. I'm so sorry; for me, it started out very difficult. Couldn't hold it together and broke down in front of my guess. They were so understanding and compassionate and lifted me up. I was so grateful and appreciative. I know Charles would have been grateful as well. Yes, I agree, the pain and sadness will always be there no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted November 28, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted November 28, 2017 I'm so sorry, Francine. That whole first year is just so hard to get through. I'm glad your guests were understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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