Missing my dad

[Victoria bramlett]

My dad has sick for about 5 years having stokes. I have always loved my dad but he never has been easy to get along with as I grew up I realized that he was all about his self. My mom and dad divorced  when I was 13. Over the years he would call and we would talk. About 4 years ago he was put in to a nursing for learning how to walk again. Then after a month he came to live with me and my husband. 2 months went by and we was into about his old ways of wanting to buy things like high priced cameras and he returned home to his wife.  He would call and as time went on the calls got fewer and farther apart until there was no calls at all. One of last was he was wanting money from me. My father lives out of state and I did try to make contact with him sending the sheriff's department to his door step with no response on different times. This past summer I just happened to look his name up on the internet and found his obituary which was 2 months before hand. My step mother never called or anything and when I call her now she won't answer the phone. I did find out that the funeral in the town where they live had him cremated. The man who runs the funeral home got 700.00 to cremate him and was suppose to get 545.00 after it was done from my stepmother. Well my stepmother never picked his ashes up and the man from the funeral told she was not going to get his ashes because she did not want them. So now I really don't know what to do about this situation. The little girl who loves her dad wants to get his ashes but adult middle aged grown woman is lost on what to do.  I am really hurt but I want to do what's right!

[sadandlost]

Dear Victoria,

That's shocking you were not even told about your fathers death!  I can't believe that.  What kind of woman would not tell his daughter?  I realise you had a complicated relationship with him but its still shocking.  I'm sorry for you because there must be very complicated emotions now.  I would pick up the ashes and decide later what to do when things properly sink in and you have time to process it.  I'm sorry for your loss.