Early Days

[Nancy007]

it was only Monday night when Boomer was put to sleep and it is very hard getting thru each long day.  The only time is when I am at work my mind does not constantly think of my boomer.  The nights are bad and mornings everywhere reminds me of boomer even if I go out I am reminded of all the places we used to go and where he and I will not go again.  My car still has his cover and towels and leads and his collar.  I can’t bring myself to put them away and everyday tasks become meaningless. Even seeing my walking boots relates to when we went walkabout.  I am at a loss at what to do.  

[KayC]

Just try to get through the day, don't go beyond today.  You will remove the leads, etc. when you are more ready.  If it stays there all year, what of it?  No one can judge you for your grief. A counselor I know says, "It takes what it takes." and I like that because it is validating of our grief.

There is nothing TO do, but sit with our grief, feel it, ride with it.  In time the intensity will lessen, we have but to go straight through it, there is no circumventing it.  With my husband, it took me YEARS to process it.  I have learned it is not something to fear, but something to allow ourselves to feel and experience.

[Nancy007]

such wise words.  I never think of things that way.  We always think we must do what is right, whatever that means, well by not showing our feelings and being told pull yourself together he was an old dog.  I will leave his things in my car and not think I have to get rid of them.   What you say certainly helps and just go from day to day and if I cry it’s not anything to feel bad or ashamed of doing.  

[AJWCat]

Nancy, you are where we all have been.  

The first few days without my sweet cat, I barely ate and couldn't sleep well. I wanted to somehow fix what happen. I could not believe he was gone. I was unprepared to feel so devastated because I am a pretty logical person. I knew my cat would not live forever. 

The physical absence was crushing. 

Do whatever you can to feel okay. Cry. Come here and write (I sure did, I have pages.) and share your grief. Like KayC said, there is nothing to do but survive and miss Boomer. It's just a process. Be patient with yourself. Of course everything is going to remind you of him, he brought you joy and was such a part of your life!

In time, those memories will make you smile and not cry. Thinking of you and wishing you peace, I know it's hard.  

[KayC]

23 hours ago, Nancy007 said:

such wise words.  I never think of things that way.  We always think we must do what is right, whatever that means, well by not showing our feelings and being told pull yourself together he was an old dog.  I will leave his things in my car and not think I have to get rid of them.   What you say certainly helps and just go from day to day and if I cry it’s not anything to feel bad or ashamed of doing.  

That's right!  Give yourself permission to grieve in YOUR time and way and when anyone who doesn't get it offers their free advice, take it for what you paid for it.