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I lost my Dad on the 13th May 2012, I was 9 at the time and it was the hardest part of my life. I remember saying goodbye to my Dad at Lakeside before travelling to Poland (my Dad was a Speedway Rider and was always travelling). It was on Sunday I went to bed and I couldn't sleep I woke up in the morning and my Nan was round, I went into my lounge and there i sore my nan and my mum crying, I asked them what's wrong and they told me my dad was never coming home. I completely broke down and I didn't know what to do anymore because I did everything with my dad, he took me to everyone of my football matches, went to watch his practice, travelled to all of his races, did everything you could imagine and I had such a close relationship with my dad, and from there on life didn't get much easier. I was depressed until the age of 12, didn't want to eat, drink or do anything. My mum offered everything and I didnt want anything but my dad and that is never going to happen and it upsets me so much now thinking of it. I'm only 14 years old and I feel like I can't go on with my life anymore I struggle so much, I'm learning everyday and I want to ask for some advise and I would appreciate any feed back because I seriously don't know what to do. I struggle to talking face to face and I'm too afraid of showing my emotions 

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reader   

Dear Joshua,

I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow. Losing a beloved father is one of the hardest thing anyone can go through. I know its hard. Please know there are people that care and love you and wouldn't want you to feel this way.

I hope you will reach out to a trusted friend or adult who can help you access some resources. Maybe talking to a counsellor or joining a support group with other people close to your age will help you know, you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. I'm a lot like you and I too didn't want to show my emotions to strangers as it were. But my counsellor was very compassionate. Don't keep the hurt inside. There are people that understand and will want to help you to find ways to cope.

I also find these websites helpful: What's Your Grief and the Grief Healing Blog.

We are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. Sending all my thoughts and prayers to you.

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tessa   

Hi Joshua, I am so sorry for your loss.
In addition to what reader has written, seeking counselling,
Have you thought of what your dad would have wanted for you? He would have wanted you to have a full and rich life, happiness. He wouldn't want to see you all upset and depressed.
So how about coming out again and playing with the world. Be happy so your dad can be happy seeing you happy. Make your father proud. How about it, eh :)

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Dear Joshua,

I'm so sorry for your painful loss.  I don't think others realise how long the process of grief goes on.  Its especially hard loosing your dad so young, its very hard to process your emotions going on inside of you, let alone talk about them.  Having said that you are brave in starting the process and coming to this site.  I agree with reader, people want to help you and care about you.  I think finding a specialist councelor for teens dealing with loss could help you.  I understand how hard that will be for you.  If you could tell your mom that you are having difficulty, she could help finding you the right resources.  Or maybe it will help talking to her about how you feel.  Its a big step I know.  So difficult asking for help but please understand you have gone through a life changing experience at a very young age.  We are much older than you and still struggling with our loss, so we understand it is even harder for you.  Recognise that to yourself that what you are feeling is the struggle of loss.  As you begin to express it, you can start the healing process.

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Thankyou everyone for the feedback and I will take that on board, I will try and talk to my mum about finding a specialist councelor to talk to about my emotions and feelings. It's hard keeping emotions and feelings inside without letting them out. I appreciate all the comments back and I will try and live life with joy and enjoy my many years ahead 

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Dear Joshua - I know you have gotten really good advice from the other posters , but if you want to read something on teen depression or other suggestions on dealing with grief, you may contact me for a link to free reading material . 

I also have an Instagram page all about anxiety and depression @hope_is_not_lost_

I’m deeply sorry about the loss of your father . 

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