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Freya has gone and she's not coming back


Kel1984

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I'm not sure how I'm going to live without her. Freya was born in July 2011. The first time I saw her photo I knew I had to have her. She had a bit of a rough start. Taken away from her cat mum at 6 weeks old, came to me riddled with fleas. For the first 6 months of her life she would suckle on my dressing gown, I became her mum. Freya was the most loving cat I've ever known. She would sit on me with her front legs either side of my neck giving me an actual hug. She did this little squeak to talk to you and would do whatever she could to get as close as possible to you.

Freya was an indoor cat for 5 years. I wanted her to be safe. I wanted her to live a long happy life. When we moved house away from the main road I started to think she might like to be outside. People kept telling me cats are meant to be outside. I wa ms cruel to keep her indoors. So I let her out for a bit totally supervised. Then I started to let her out during the day, getting her back in at night.  On Thursday I got the call at work that changed my life forever. Freya had been hit by a car. She didn't make it. My baby girl was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.

This situation was totally avoidable. I should've kept her safe indoors. I'm moving house again in a month to a really quiet close. I should've kept her in for one more month. I'm so totally and utterly heartbroken and blaming myself for not thinking through the risks. I loved Freya so much, I'm devastated and can't bear the thought of her not being in my life.

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Please know how deeply sorry I am for your loss!!!! I pray that you've understood that you've done all that you could do to make your baby happy and you had no control over the fate of your fur baby, please don't be so hard on yourself cause we as people make mistakes or  choices we have no clue about what so ever.....you were a great "cat mama " and I truly praised you for that!!!!! Whether we keep our pets indoors or outdoors, we still can't protect or keep them alive longer the way we want to cause anything can happen.....accidents happens........ I don't blame you cause I've done that before with my beloved cat and he was attacked by several neighborhood dogs trying to eat him years ago. I was only trying to do my best to make my boy happy and it didn't turn out that way, I pray that you also forgive yourself and try to take one day at a time for yourself to face another day the best way you know how..... your pain will slowly go away with time and as long as you have us here on this site to talk to....we will help you through your bereavement.....you will definitely begin to smile again. My thoughts and prayers are with and for you my friend .....please take care of yourself. 

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What a horrible tragedy I am so sorry to hear about your sweet kitty. We never know what things can happen for sure so please don't spend time blaming yourself or in guilt. It will only block your ability to really grieve her loss. I wish so much I could say something that could remove your pain. I know how it is, I lost my cat in a sudden and horrific way so I know how hard it is to go through the loss. Wishing you peace during this difficult time. :( 

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Kel I am so sorry for your loss. I feel your pain and i wish I could say something to make it less, it hurts so much when we lose a pet we loved .Please try not to feel guilty, don;t add this to your pain. We cannot control what will happen to our pets, no matter how much we love them and try to protect them. All you did was making sure your kitty had the best life possible and all the choices you made for her were based on this. You wanted nothing but the best for her. Please try to keep this on your mind when guilty thoughts come. Your Freya had a wonderful life with you, you gave her everything. I know how hard is your loss to deal with and my heart breaks for you. Everyone on this forum is going through this, we are here for you. Please write here when you feel like it, it will help you to share your thoughts and your grief. I pray that in time you will find comfort and healing.

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Thank you everyone for your kind words. The grief keeps coming over me in waves. I have a two year old son so trying to stay strong around him but when I'm on my own I can't stop thinking about her and I burst into tears. I hope the pain will ease in time.

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I am so sorry, I know how badly you are missing her, I lost my cat June 3, 2016.  It's hard because both of my cats came to me after living their lives outdoors, free to come and go as they wished, and once they've already tasted that freedom, they aren't very happy being confined.  I didn't let either of them out at night, we live on a quiet dead end street, but there are wild animals out at night...my cat disappeared broad daylight and she would not have left on her own accord.

When something like this happens, we are our own worst enemy, beating ourselves up over the what ifs.  The truth is, we're looking for a different outcome and that is normal in grief.  We loved them and would have done anything for them, they were our family, our companions.
I hope this brings you comfort as it did me.
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

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littlelukkreung

I'm so so sorry.

This was not your fault. I personally understand the issues of others convincing you that cats 'need to be outside'. If a cat has lived their entire lives in a house, that is what they know and are happy with.

We stopped our eldest going out after someone has either swung him around by his tail or shoved a firework inside of him and ripped his bum inside out He survived this horrific act, thank God. Do NOT feel guilty about your attempt to let her have freedom.

If she kept going out willingly (as my other cat has never had any interest in the outside world at all), she must've have been comfortable and enjoyed roaming around. This was an accident and it was no-ones fault, least of all yours. I'm lucky to have been with my Dave as he died, something you were robbed of but for the time you had her, she had a good life and was loved. I know words don't ease the pain much but talking about it helped me stay calm, I hope it helps you. 

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1 hour ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry, I know how badly you are missing her, I lost my cat June 3, 2016.  It's hard because both of my cats came to me after living their lives outdoors, free to come and go as they wished, and once they've already tasted that freedom, they aren't very happy being confined.  I didn't let either of them out at night, we live on a quiet dead end street, but there are wild animals out at night...my cat disappeared broad daylight and she would not have left on her own accord.

When something like this happens, we are our own worst enemy, beating ourselves up over the what ifs.  The truth is, we're looking for a different outcome and that is normal in grief.  We loved them and would have done anything for them, they were our family, our companions.
I hope this brings you comfort as it did me.
http://media.wix.com/ugd/0dd4a5_e934e7f92d104d31bcb334d6c6d63974.pdf 

http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml

They are really helpful links, thank you so much x

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6 hours ago, Kel1984 said:

Thank you everyone for your kind words. The grief keeps coming over me in waves. I have a two year old son so trying to stay strong around him but when I'm on my own I can't stop thinking about her and I burst into tears. I hope the pain will ease in time.

Waves is exactly how it was for me. Still is to some degree. It will ease in time. KayC has said something like, our grief matches the depth of our love. I believe that is true. So, it will take some time. Just be patient, let it out when you can. 

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23 hours ago, Kel1984 said:

They are really helpful links, thank you so much x

Thinking of you...I know this is hard.  Just try to get through today.

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