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Tan_247

Loss of my Fiance over 4 weeks ago

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Tan_247   

I have recently lost my fiance who had committed suicide by gun shot to the head. He left behind a note saying 'I wasn't meant to be.

Right now I'm suffering as the funeral is still being arranged. 

 

How do i cope with this pain. I havnt not been back to work since and j am planning to go back after the funeral.

Our wedding was planned 3 weeks today and I have just had my whole life turned upside down. We were do happy and we planned for the future.

I really need some guidance of how to carry on with my life. 

What can I do now to ease some of the pain. 

 

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wayne   

hello tan wayne here its hard i know and theres quite a few know how bad and sad and the physical pain of heartbreak and the fear . that your feeling  ,5 years for me pain still with me , you need people with you all the time ,even though they have no idea how your feeling , lonelyness in a full room ,fear, alone , tell them hew you feel , tell them you need someone to put their arms around you all the time tell them to listen to you not instruct you , take your time in what your doing in future ,    anyway remember there are people who know exactly how you feel  and fhey are on here , anytime you want to chat im here most days ,  and really so sorry for your loss.        wayne  uk  bolton 

 

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Tan_247   

Hello Wayne,

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry for your loss too. I feel so lost without him. Ben was the only me true love of my life and I was so happy in  had found each other. We were going to get married in 3weeks as well. 

I just feel really down. I keep asking myself why. Why did this happen. What happens of me now. 

This whole thing has completely changed my life and it something I never forget.

How do you deal with such a thing each day of your life?

Tan

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wayne   

hello tan    ,its important to know that there are people that do know bad you feel ,  its hard asking yourself why asking others why theres no answer , its hurting and  its frightening ,you got to tell people exactly how bad your feeling inside ,even though they dont have the slightest idea how bad you feel , dont be alone unless you choose to , please have someone there especially after bens funeral ,people think your ok you,ll manage but you wont cant say this enough, dont be on your own, and dealing with this as you ask well its lifechanging and as far as im concerned it just never goes away , i hope you have good family and friends ,always tell them exactly how you feel ,

always remember when people do commit they really arnt in a good frame of mind ',

i m here every day at some point ,please remember im just a person who the same thing happened to , i really hope this isnt upsetting you , anyway im here message anytime 

wayne

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Tan_247   

Hello Wayne,

I do have family and friends. But it's not the same. I come from a family who argue a lot and I get really impatient with them. Sometimes I feel like I want to me on my own and then I feel really low. 

They are supportive but I feel like I can't talk about him as they didn't know Ben as well as I did. 

Everyday seems a struggle. Even writing my eulogy. I feel pretty weak. I feel so heartbroken and just lost. 

Ben would have been the first person I would turn to. It's so hard and tiring.

I have gave him all my love even through his last few days.  I just still can't believe he's gone. I committed my whole life to him and he knew that.

Maybe seeing him tomorrow in the chapel of rest may help me. Help me build my strength and move on slowly.

Thank you for replying. I don't know who I can talk to at times.

 

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wayne   

hello tan 

your gonna need someone with you someone who knows when to leave you on your own ,or when to stay , i gonna tell a little of my story [ after the funeral people just think its done now so leave him to it , they left me to it ,   i ended up  having a breakdown ,and sectioned , im a very strong man  , so it will be very hard, tired, lost, scared and the physical pain of heartbreak  , when you go seeing ben tomorrow, then its real , im sorry for you , knowing how you feel , and with people who have no idea how hurt you are , im here anytime 

wayne

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stef87   

Hi Tan I'm so sorry about you Fiance. I lost my husband on the 8th Oct to taking his own. I found him in the garage hung. I was in total shock at first disbelief. Going tjrough all the emotions now. I'm becoming angry and being horrible to the people around me. I'm hoping there lift at the end of the tunnel but I can't see it just yet. I feel I want to wake up and skip through a few months. How I feel is the worst feeling in the world 

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