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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Jannit

Loss of a 17 yr old

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I lost my son on the 14 th August 2017 , he went out for a birthday dinner and never came back, he had  an asthma attack  which lead to a cardiac, and that was it he was gone. I hate the emptiness, anguish,sadness,anger, loss and all the other emotions I encounter on a daily basis.  I've lost my beautiful and funny child and I'm totally lost right now. How on earth am I expected to function as if life still has a purpose.

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Jannit,

I m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's a difficult time for u right now. The loss of ur 17 y/o child must b devastating. People expect u to move on in a few months. Nobody understands. I cannot imagine the pain, longing and bitterness u must feel right now. You can cry as much as u like. Your tears show how much u love. Whether u cry, not cry, feel numb, feel angry or lash out over trivial things...it's all normal. You shouldn't judge urself based on what people think and expect of u. I cannot console u with my words. Try to connect with people who have been through something similar. Only they can understand you. I wish u strength to deal with this. Pls take care of urself. People might seem selfish/insensitive. Ignore them. Be with people who understand u. Take care of urself. Do something to honour his memory. Be compassionate. Take it one day at a time. Daily tasks might be difficult for u right now. But we know that life's not fair. You have to handle this. I wish u strength and I hope u find support. I understand that nothing can bring him back. Remember him with love. He'd want u to b happy....u have a long way to go. Be patient with urself. Be kind to urself. I know it's a difficult time. I know nothing can console u right now.

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tia31415 good words of advice I am guessing you lost someone very close to you too. Most of us post on the thread loss of an adult child the one with the highest views. It keeps us more together and is very active. posts are answered pretty quickly and we have both new and old members who share their stories and offer their insights and advice. It is a caring community both of you please join us

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Jannit, I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I lost my 18 year old son. He was in a snow boarding accident. I was waiting for him to come home and he never did. My whole world turned upside down. I used to have a house filled with his friends, food and lots of fun and love. My house became so quiet with just my daughter and I...you could hear a pin drop. I kept my son's room unchanged from the day he died. I went in there often to remember him. I would put on his huge skate board tennis shoes and wear his shirt. I sniffed his pillow till the smell was out and I put on his cologne. I tried to remember what his truck smelled like. Sort of sweaty teen age boy with motorcycle gear. I remember the time he wrote me a post it note asking me to get him: 1) expensive perfume 2) proactive acne cream 3) teeth whitner. I quickly turned to him and said "When did you get a girlfriend?!" We both laughed and he turned red from embarrassment! Every day, I think about him. I wish I was there to hold his hand when he was dying. Wish I was there to trade places with him. I can say, I am still waiting for him to come home...

I would love to hear you tell me who your funny, sweet son is. Would love to hear about your relatinship with him.

The first two years after a child dies are just plain awful. Don't be around people who do not understand. Don't let people who have not lost a child tell you what you should feel like and what you should do. Only you know how you should greive. Be around people who can give you hugs.

My heart goes out to you, Jannit. Huge hugs

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