Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Craig319

Can sickness be related to grief?

Recommended Posts

Craig319   

Hi all,

I'm writing for a advice for, which at this point, is may be a little unusual as I cannot find significant answers anywhere.

My mother passed away a couple of years ago, very unexpectedly and suddenly, a few weeks after retiring. Both of my parents had made plans for their retirement and what they would be doing. They obviously never got the chance to do any of it. My parents were married for close on 50 years.

My father is old-school. Won't talk to anyone about his emotions and the loss he is no doubt feeling. Many family members are concerned with how he is coping, which he takes as coping looking after himself. What they mean is mentally as he rarely says anything about my mother's passing.

Recently, I have actually managed to get him to open up, very, very slightly.

Anyway, please forgive the rambling, but I thought a bit of background would be helpful.

The point to this post is, my mother passed from an aggressive pneumonia type illness. The illness was very short, and as stated above, unexpected. Now my father, being how he is and 'bottling' all his feelings, has developed a chest complaint that has the doctors stumped. He is forever wheezing, coughing and bringing up pleghm, but the doctors so far have no answer for what's causing this. This has been gradually getting worse for the past year and a half at least, however al chest x-rays, CT scans, MRIs and bloods are coming back clear or with no discernable cause.

The symptoms he has are very much like my mother's illness that took her from us. Apparently, it was fairly contagious in it's early stages. So much so that my father was advised to take a strong course of anitbiotics and replace any shared bed clothes etc.

I've that greif can ultimately make you physically ill, so the question is, is it possible that my father's unresolved greif and mourning could be manifesting itself as something similar to what caused my mother's passing. Something similar to 'sympathy pains'?

Any information on similar experiences or reliable studies would be greatly appreciated.

I'm trying to find the best direction to try to help my father.

Thank you for any assistance or comments in advance

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Craig319,

I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. I would seek the advice of a professional grief therapist who may be able to answer your questions with knowledge and experience. I know that some people can develop all kinds of serious illnesses and physical conditions due to stress, so it is possible your dad is ill from his grief. I'm just not an expert or medical doctor, so I can't tell you where to go from here. A professional therapist may be able to direct you. 

We will be with you,

ModKonnie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×