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My father is dying


Roxs

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Hi 

In July 2017 my father went in for a hernia surgery. The Dr. Didn't do any tests to see if he had any heath issues. Within 7 days his body was swelling up within a month he was diagnosed with stage 2 amyloidosis and myaloma cancer. Before his surgery my father was healthy. Yes at 60 he had his health concerns but nothing major. I feel the dr.s fumbled my dad's treatment. He went in for 2nd round of chemo and his kidneys failed. Now he is on dyalisis and we are being told he isn't well enough for chemo anymore. Just two days ago now in October the Dr. said he has less than a month to live. Our mother is on hospice care she had five brain surgeries and over a dozen tumors removed and the tumor have returned and she was unoperable. My dad was taking care of her. This came out of no where. I'm in a state of shock. All this time we were preparing for my mom. I don't understand how in a matter of months my dad can deteriorate so fast. None of it makes sense. My heart is broken and my eyes hurt from all the crying I've done. I hate being awake because the pain in my soul is unbearable. I see my dad and he is fighting hard. I just don't understand. 

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Dear Roxs,

I am so very sorry for you.  What a horrific ordeal.  You must feel completely traumatised and in shock.  I don't even know what to say.  I can't even imagine going through this.  Life is pretty tough for me right now.  Every day is a struggle but what you have to face in such a short period is unimaginable.  We are here, to read your words and listen to you tell you story.  I'm deeply sorry for what you have to face.

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Roxs,

What has happened is beyond appalling. Life OFTEN creates events such as these, but knowing such is of little consolation! 

We seek 'fairness' in an often negligent, indifferent, and sometimes callous world. Seeking is great, but expecting such brings such bitter disappointment at times. Sometimes to the extent of temporarily wrecking our lives, and then leaving scars which never completely heal. 

Accept that the pain and other negative emotions which you feel are natural and healthy and a reflection of your love. Decide week by week what you personally need to do in order to promote your own gradual partial healing and discuss your plans with those whom know you whom you love. 

I attach a poem just for you:

 

Losing a Love One

 

 Reflect on a ray of sunshine.

Consider the autumn breeze.

Catch falling snow in the palm of your hand.

What’s more lovely than all of these?

 

God’s infinite love surrounds us,

fills the air and touches the skies.

Why then be fearful of daybreak?

Accept the beauty from on high.

 

A bird lands in the tree of life,

fearing not its own demise,

turning to God for all that it needs,

How simple yet so wise.

 

The lesson is clear my sorrowing friend:

Worry not on what you embark.

Accept all that’s given – that wonderful love,

which will lead you through the dark.

 

 

© I.S.

 

***

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