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Losing my father to a terminal illness

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Hello all,

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer that is incurable, but the DR. said that they are going to run cemo on it and try to put it in remission. My dad has lost a lot of weight, and looks sickly. I'm super devastated im sitting here in work feeling sick myself with sadness and grief and I cant concentrate at work, I feel zoned out, when people talk to me I get angry, and I just feel like I am on the verge of crying every hour. I started listening to a book on grief just preparing myself for what might become. I know people might think that is pessimistic, but I have my mother to worry about they have been married for years and years, and I know that eventually I will be okay it will be a long drawn out processes that will forever change my life for the worse. I'm just worried about my mom and what might happen to her the eventuality that my dad does pass away, because my mom has lost both her parents just recently and now her husband has cancer. They had plans when they got old to drive around the country in a RV and that's all I can think about, and it hurts me more knowing they might not have that. What do I do?!!

Has anyone ever been in this situation? I'm 27 and male, I have a strong bond with my mother and me and my dad we see each other everyday because we all live in the same house.

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Dear Sgtkeebler,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. I know it's very hard on you and you are doing everything you can to help your mom during this extremely difficult time. It is a terrible shock.

I too lived with my dad and to watch him suffer was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Please try to take this time to be with your mom and dad. Be together. Let your mom know you love her and will support her in anyway you can. I'm sure she knows already but never hurts to say it out loud.

I'm not sure if you can talk to the doctor about accessing some resources. It might help to talk to a counsellor or join a support group.  Please know you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings.

Thinking of you and your family. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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I'm in the same situation. They just told us two days ago my dad had less than a month to live. He wasn't sick at all. He only started getting sick in July and we are now in Oct. I feel your pain. We are a close family and spend every holiday and summers together. I will pray for you please pray for me. 

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