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A bit late


Legatus

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I recently learned that a friend of mine was rather brutally murdered in 2015. I first met her back in 2001, and we would spend hours talking on the phone with each other. This went on for a couple years, but I ended up moving out of the state. Our communications grew less frequent until we stopped talking completely (2005ish). Over the years she popped into my head from time to time and a few times I wanted to make contact but the usual avenues of search didn't turn up anything. I took a stab at it again the other day and learned that she had died. I then found the news stories surrounding it, and it's awful.

I've had to deal with friends dying before but this is on a different level.  I haven't been able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time.

I'm allowed to feel my feelings, but I keep asking myself why am I getting so worked up over someone I haven't spoken to in such a long time.

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Dear Legatus,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I think we all grieve differently. Please don't be hard on yourself. Take the time to mourn this friend. If you want to, consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group.

It is hard to look back on friendships, because the chance to change things is now gone. I think that is why it is so hard. Thinking of you. Sending all my thoughts and prayers.

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I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me or what but I distinctly remember overhearing a conversation about her tragedy. I remember hearing both her name and the state and thought to ask the people about the incident but I thought the odds were astronomical that it was actually her. I feel like it's my mind altering my memory but I almost want to go back and ask the people in question (if they'd even remember) but I don't want to come off as crazy.

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Please don't think that. I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping you. Grief is tough. It does affect our memories and makes us feel crazy but in reality its normal. It never hurts to just ask and even if the answer is "I don't know" that will be okay.

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