Dear Mom, it's been four years

[Reflections]

Dear Mom,

I walked the dog past some beautiful flower pots the other day. Your favorite. Thought of you. I don't do that as often or as long as I used to. Just a wisp of a thought here and there. Everyone's doing fine. Some things are better, some not as much. We're all older with the daily ups and downs that come with life. I've had a few times where I've thought, I'm glad she missed this. Sorry. And selfishly, as I listen to my friends struggle with their aging parents, I think, at least I don't have to do that with you. After all we went through looking after Grandma, I know you were worried about that too.

Dad's doing well. He's getting worried about losing his mobility and cognitive sharpness. He knows he'll have to give up driving in the near future. Losing you has brought us closer to Dad. Or maybe it's because he's getting mellower with age. It's hard not to think about what lies ahead, about how much harder things will be without you both. See what I mean? Hard not to go there in my imagination. Like Dad says, got to learn how to live in the now. Still working on it.

I miss you today. Last week was officially the fourth year. For weeks, I tried not to think of the approaching date. I don't know why. Didn't do anything to commemorate it. All I said was, "It's four years today" and sis said, "Yeah."

Amazing how you can say a lot without saying much of anything at all.

I'm thinking it's time to clear out the last bit of your things. I hope you don't mind. You told me they're just things except the piano (which I need to polish). I won't throw it all out though. I'll keep one box that I can look through whenever I re-discover it in storage. For nostalgia sake. It's funny what triggers thoughts of you. The last of your household supplies, the ones we merged with ours, they're almost all gone. Don't know why that gives me a sad twinge but it does.

Thank you for being our Mom. Thank you for loving us so much. Thank you for showing us courage and humor. You're forever in our hearts.

Miss you, Mom.

 

[reader]

Dear Reflections,

Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute with all of us. Sending you my thoughts and prayers.