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Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
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      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Ema

Filled with grief

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Ema   

It's day 4 since my dog died. I feel crazy. My brother may be brain dead at 59 as a result of a tragic chiropractor episode and here I am hiding out in my room while my family is all on the living room after dinner feeling angry and sad and depressed about my little baby , my dog. Im just so sad. I cannot stand myself right now, have to pull it together. 

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AJWCat   

Oh Ema, that is so horrible! Sometimes when it rains it pours, huh? That is so true for us. Losing our cat has been one of several problems we've dealt with including our own health challenges. I am trying to hold it together as well. I am so sorry about your brother and to have to deal w/ it without your dog. :( I wish I could offer you more accept you are not alone.  

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KayC   

Ema,

OMG, I'm so sorry about your brother, that is horrible!  And losing your dog on top of what you and your family are already going through, sometimes we wonder why, but I've never gotten any answer back and know it is futile to ask.  There is no "why".  Sometimes things in life seem rather random, that's one reason we feel so vulnerable in grief, loss is beyond our ability to control and it's definitely not comfortable.  My family has had its tragedies too, and I see others that don't seem to have anything happen to them and I wonder, why the disparity?!  No answers forthcoming, just I know life isn't handed out fairly and equitably.  I hope and pray your family pulls together and draws close as you need each other to make your way through all this.

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Maria9   

Ema,  what can I say, this is all so terrible....I am so sorry about your brother and what you're going through. Dealing with all this at the same time is so hard.The loss of a pet is already in itself so unbearable ....Like KayC said there are no answers to "why" things happen, and this makes them even more painful. Please be kind to yourself and allow your self to feel  what you feel .You're not crazy and you're not alone.  I pray that you and your family find the strength and the courage to make it through this.

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KayC   

Keep coming her when you need to, we're here for you.

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AJWCat   

Absolutely, writing out your troubles can help - it has for me! And I know there is more going on with losing your dog but that is so painful and makes anything else going on way worse. We are here to read/listen.

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Maria9   

Yes, write here anytime you feel the need, let it all out...I did this and I am still doing it, the people here have helped me tremendously , with their kindness, support and understanding. Pet loss alone is so painful, one must not carry it alone.

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I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

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Ema   

Hi love2travel. Im so sorry. Yes the sadness is beyond belief. It's 2 weeks ago for me today. I am still stunned, filled with sadness... I want her back . It's day by day. Thanking all these wonderful people for their support. 

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Maria9   
6 hours ago, Love2travel said:

I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

Love2travel,I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. I lost my kitty one month ago. Come here to visit and write if it helps you. We are here for each other in this forum.

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Maria9   
4 hours ago, Ema said:

Hi love2travel. Im so sorry. Yes the sadness is beyond belief. It's 2 weeks ago for me today. I am still stunned, filled with sadness... I want her back . It's day by day. Thanking all these wonderful people for their support. 

Ema I know ...I want my kitty back too. It is so hard to accept they're gone .Our hearts are  broken and that's all there is. I have no choice too, just trying to make it through each day.

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KayC   
15 hours ago, Love2travel said:

I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

I'm so sorry, I know how horrible this hurts.  Ema is right, it is day by day.  
It helps to memorialize your pet, some way of honoring him.  I purchased a headstone from https://www.personalcreations.com/personalized-pet-memorials-psephds?REF=PCRSRCHgoog_Sympathy&+Memorial+-+Desktop+-+Exact_pet+head+stones_e_c=&cvosrc=PPC.google.pet+head+stones&matchtype=e&PRID=pcrsrch25ypad 
They did a beautiful job, can be a way to work into a garden.  I hope you have a good support system, some people don't understand mourning a pet, but those of us who love our pets like children, we get it.

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AJWCat   

@Ema and @Love2travel you both are so new to your loss. :(  Today marks about 2 months for me,  we lost our wonderful cat on Aug. 12. I still can't believe it sometimes because it was very sudden and tragic. My cat was such a big part of my and my husband's life, he brought only joy. He was like our child. We both adored him. Crying has stopped for the most part. But there is a hole that never leaves. .. like when you go in the kitchen to get something and forget why you walked in... I have those moments about life in general, like something feels off and then I remember why it feels wrong: he's not here. All I can say is you keep going and you deal with the pain. I wish you peace as you go through your loss and I am so sorry that you find yourselves here. At least you know others feel the same. 

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KayC   

It's hard, hard going through those adjustments.  It's been 16 months since I lost Miss Mocha, my most recent loss.  I remember those early days and beyond I kept looking for her to appear at the patio door.  And when nighttime came and she wasn't sleeping pressed up against me, the absence of her was really hard.  In time you no longer expect it, but it's a hard process adjusting to the changes in our routines.  And even when we adjust to them, we still miss our babies.  

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