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Filled with grief


Ema

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It's day 4 since my dog died. I feel crazy. My brother may be brain dead at 59 as a result of a tragic chiropractor episode and here I am hiding out in my room while my family is all on the living room after dinner feeling angry and sad and depressed about my little baby , my dog. Im just so sad. I cannot stand myself right now, have to pull it together. 

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Oh Ema, that is so horrible! Sometimes when it rains it pours, huh? That is so true for us. Losing our cat has been one of several problems we've dealt with including our own health challenges. I am trying to hold it together as well. I am so sorry about your brother and to have to deal w/ it without your dog. :( I wish I could offer you more accept you are not alone.  

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Ema,

OMG, I'm so sorry about your brother, that is horrible!  And losing your dog on top of what you and your family are already going through, sometimes we wonder why, but I've never gotten any answer back and know it is futile to ask.  There is no "why".  Sometimes things in life seem rather random, that's one reason we feel so vulnerable in grief, loss is beyond our ability to control and it's definitely not comfortable.  My family has had its tragedies too, and I see others that don't seem to have anything happen to them and I wonder, why the disparity?!  No answers forthcoming, just I know life isn't handed out fairly and equitably.  I hope and pray your family pulls together and draws close as you need each other to make your way through all this.

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Ema,  what can I say, this is all so terrible....I am so sorry about your brother and what you're going through. Dealing with all this at the same time is so hard.The loss of a pet is already in itself so unbearable ....Like KayC said there are no answers to "why" things happen, and this makes them even more painful. Please be kind to yourself and allow your self to feel  what you feel .You're not crazy and you're not alone.  I pray that you and your family find the strength and the courage to make it through this.

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Absolutely, writing out your troubles can help - it has for me! And I know there is more going on with losing your dog but that is so painful and makes anything else going on way worse. We are here to read/listen.

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Yes, write here anytime you feel the need, let it all out...I did this and I am still doing it, the people here have helped me tremendously , with their kindness, support and understanding. Pet loss alone is so painful, one must not carry it alone.

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I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

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Hi love2travel. Im so sorry. Yes the sadness is beyond belief. It's 2 weeks ago for me today. I am still stunned, filled with sadness... I want her back . It's day by day. Thanking all these wonderful people for their support. 

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6 hours ago, Love2travel said:

I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

Love2travel,I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts. I lost my kitty one month ago. Come here to visit and write if it helps you. We are here for each other in this forum.

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4 hours ago, Ema said:

Hi love2travel. Im so sorry. Yes the sadness is beyond belief. It's 2 weeks ago for me today. I am still stunned, filled with sadness... I want her back . It's day by day. Thanking all these wonderful people for their support. 

Ema I know ...I want my kitty back too. It is so hard to accept they're gone .Our hearts are  broken and that's all there is. I have no choice too, just trying to make it through each day.

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15 hours ago, Love2travel said:

I just recently loss my pet.  Friday I had to make the difficult decision to put him to sleep.   He was an older dog but his illness was sudden and unexpected.   He was my petchild. The sadness is just beyond belief.  I just hope it gets better with time.  

I'm so sorry, I know how horrible this hurts.  Ema is right, it is day by day.  
It helps to memorialize your pet, some way of honoring him.  I purchased a headstone from https://www.personalcreations.com/personalized-pet-memorials-psephds?REF=PCRSRCHgoog_Sympathy&+Memorial+-+Desktop+-+Exact_pet+head+stones_e_c=&cvosrc=PPC.google.pet+head+stones&matchtype=e&PRID=pcrsrch25ypad 
They did a beautiful job, can be a way to work into a garden.  I hope you have a good support system, some people don't understand mourning a pet, but those of us who love our pets like children, we get it.

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@Ema and @Love2travel you both are so new to your loss. :(  Today marks about 2 months for me,  we lost our wonderful cat on Aug. 12. I still can't believe it sometimes because it was very sudden and tragic. My cat was such a big part of my and my husband's life, he brought only joy. He was like our child. We both adored him. Crying has stopped for the most part. But there is a hole that never leaves. .. like when you go in the kitchen to get something and forget why you walked in... I have those moments about life in general, like something feels off and then I remember why it feels wrong: he's not here. All I can say is you keep going and you deal with the pain. I wish you peace as you go through your loss and I am so sorry that you find yourselves here. At least you know others feel the same. 

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It's hard, hard going through those adjustments.  It's been 16 months since I lost Miss Mocha, my most recent loss.  I remember those early days and beyond I kept looking for her to appear at the patio door.  And when nighttime came and she wasn't sleeping pressed up against me, the absence of her was really hard.  In time you no longer expect it, but it's a hard process adjusting to the changes in our routines.  And even when we adjust to them, we still miss our babies.  

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Its been about 5 weeks since I said good bye to my dog Yaffi. When I look out my kitchen window I see the spot where she passed, under our tree on her blanket as I covered her with kisses on a beautiful morning while the vet helped her to go on her journey. Still the pain is deep.

 What's happened since then is dealing with my brother who is in a diabetic coma and the tragic loss of the life of a beautiful 13 year old schoolmate friend of my kids. I've cried so much this past 5 weeks , not sleeping, eating all kinds of junk food and my favorite place to be is bed. I don't know what to think, just doing my best and praying that g-d' s will be done. Day by day. I keep taking inventory of gratitude for my good health, wonderful daughters, my mother's good health and my family . Life is a precious gift and lately It's all I can muster to be there for my kids and maintain normalcy. But to myself Im just existing. Right now as Im writing this at 1:30 am In bed, I am still wearing my clothes!. I dont let my kids see this part of me, they've seen enough these past weeks. I feel like bits and pieces of myself are falling off of me. IM considering seeing a counselor if I can find one I can afford. It's just becoming more clear to me that we are passing through this life with the people in it, our pets and experiences also passing through and with us separately and also together at the same time. Like players in a Broadway show, the scenes change, the characters evolve and come and go. We focus on the main characters and the conclusion of the story. We are the main characters of our lives and have to continue on as the plot thickens and the scenes change and even as the supporting characters of our lives come and go. Right now Im in the middle of a scene change that I don't have a script for so Im going to continue on improvising for now. I've babbled on enough .

Peace to you all. 

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Oh Ema, 

I am so sorry about your brother and hope he comes out of it.  My sister was just in the hospital for eight days and I was so afraid of losing her and worried about her discomfort, I can imagine how you're feeling.

And your kids' friend, that is heartbreaking.  :(

There are some counselors that base their fees on our income.  You might just start calling around. I've heard there are some that counsel by phone.  Good luck to you and I hope you find one...there are those that specialize in pet loss, probably in bigger cities but that's where phone counseling could be handy too.

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Ema I am glad you decided to come here and share your feelings. It helps! I know your pain so well. And with everything else going on in your life, after your dog's passing, life can feel a little dark and definitely unpredictable. 

 

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Oh Ema, I am so sorry ...for your grief about your doggie and your brother and the loss of your kids' schoolmate .It is so terrible ,so heartbreaking. I understand exactly what you mean, I feel like I'm falling apart too and if it wasn't for my family ,maybe I wouldn't get out of bed at all. We have to go through this one day at a time. It will get better, we just have to hold on. I think a grief or pet loss counselor will help you deal better with all this, it is too much to handle by yourself. I pray you find strength and peace .

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