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Sue P 67

Saying goodbye to his home

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Today, Scott's family closes on his home.  The place he raised his daughters, the place we fell in love, the place we spent countless nights/weekends laughing, loving, planning together.   The place where most of my memories with him were made.  

I walked in his house last night with his mom and everything is different, his belongings removed, renovations made for the new homeowner, paint colors changed....I look and listen for him...his voice...his "hey baby, whats up?" greeting.   It's real.  More real now.  All I have are the memories in my mind, I no longer have his home to go to and remember and feel his presence.  I miss him.  His family misses him.

We are all moving forward in life in our own ways but one thing for sure, we always have him in common and our love for him will never die.

So many things have been going on in my life...losing Scott has really changed me.  I don't sweat the small stuff like I would have a year ago.   In the last 2-3 weeks so much has happened that I would normally have lost my mind but now it's like "ok, just a pebble in the road".  My ex husband defaulted on a car loan that is in my name that he owns and is responsible for so he ruined my credit in one day then felt "harrassed" because I wanted to know what he was doing with it and put out an order of protection against me having any contact with him other than about our son.  The next day...I find out I no longer have a job in 60 days because the person I work for has taken a new job elsewhere and my position is eliminated.   As I said, normally I would have been so stressed out and worried but i now know, it will all work out.  I have a guardian angel who protects and guides me and I will come out of it all better and stronger because of my love, Scott.

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Sue,
This is really poignant.  I like your attitude, the things you say.  Like not sweating the small stuff, isn't that for sure.  Some things just seem trivial in comparison' with losing the person we love.

I am sorry to hear about all of the things going on in your life, each a lot to deal with on it's own.  I've learned it doesn't pay to worry about what you cannot change...I just wish I could remember that ALL the time!  You do what you know you can do about the situation and let go of the rest.  I've been there...lost my job three times since George died, and it was during the recession and no one wanted to hire someone my age.  But I haven't missed a meal yet!  I'm sorry about what your XH did...I had one that used my credit for $57,000 and then quit his job and went into hiding with his GF, sticking me with all the bills.  I had to remortgage my house along with my car loan because I couldn't afford both payments...I'll be paying on it until I'm 80 and it was once paid off  The bad paryt is it's an old mobile home that wasn't meant to last this long and now that I'm retired, everything decides to need replaced at once.  Roof, 34' patio roof (twice...long story), back of garage, house needs painted, needed new 40' ramp, shed's rotting, etc.  I prioritize and do what I can, the rest has to wait until I can get to it.   

Meanwhile...one day at a time, it's al I can handle.

I'll keep you in my prayers as you look for another job.  One thing you can do about the credit is put a statement on file with the credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Experian, TransUnion, that states how/why you had that mark put against you.  Creditors will take that into consideration.

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Sue, Your post is heart breaking. Makes a person wonder what else can come along that could be any worse than us losing our loved ones. I admire your attitude in handling what life is throwing your way lately. I like your comment about not sweating the small stuff. We have already been hit with the biggest challenge of loss. Absolutely nothing else can compare. Your post reminds me again of the Serenity Prayer. A good prayer to keep in mind when things go wrong. In the beginning months for me, even the trivial negative pop ups of life were extremely overwhelming for me to deal with. Now, I just deal with things the best I can and shrug it off.

I know how you feel about Scott's house going to a new owner. The bitter sweetness you feel. Remember, Scott is always with you. No matter where you live, where you go, what you do, he is always with you. You say it yourself in your last sentence. You will keep surviving. You have maintained a good attitude in moving forward and we all know how very difficult that is to do. I wish you good luck in seeking another job. That is such a low blow to deal with. Finances can be one of the biggest worries.KayC gave good advice on what to do about your credit. Another low blow to deal with in that your ex screwed you over with your good credit. Gosh, the people that we sometimes have to keep dealing with in our life who are not good for us!

You will be kept in my thoughts and prayers.  Hang in there, Sue!

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On 9/29/2017 at 9:20 AM, Sue P 67 said:

All I have are the memories in my mind, I no longer have his home to go to and remember and feel his presence.  I miss him.  His family misses him.

 As I said, normally I would have been so stressed out and worried but i now know, it will all work out.

 Boy, I admire your resolve; and how you shine after all the storms you have been through.  And YES, it will all work out, for the better.I can only imagine how hard it will be to leave the home that brought so many loving memories that you'll never forget; they are truly embedded into your soul.  You will always miss him but know that he will always be with you because you will take him wherever you go.  You may be going through some issues now, but always remember that regardless of what the future holds, we know who holds our future - God Almighty. 

On 9/29/2017 at 9:20 AM, Sue P 67 said:

I have a guardian angel who protects and guides me and I will come out of it all better and stronger because of my love, Scott.

You are spot on here.  God indeed sends HIS angels to have charge over us.  In Psalm 91:11 it states, "HE has put HIS angels in charge over you.  They will watch over you wherever you go".   They will catch you with their hands and you will not hit your foot on a rock".  Who could watch over you better than your Angel - Scott.

Stay Strong and know you are in my prayers!

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