Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie
Jeff In Denver

The Only Thing That Helps Me. (This Might Not Be Final).

Recommended Posts

6 minutes ago, KayC said:

PLEASE don't strike out at anyone here because of our faith.  We speak with certainty because we HAVE certainty.  It's something you can't make sense of intellectually or merely reason out if you haven't had that transformation, but it's real. It's as real to Francine and I as anyone living and breathing here. You are frustrated, understandably so, and we would never intend to push our beliefs on you, just because we make reference to them doesn't mean we're trying to force YOU into believing anything you don't.  Our beliefs are our choice, God himself doesn't force himself on us.

It is for me too.  I don't know how people make it through this without that hope.  I remember someone posting links for someone who doesn't have these beliefs, was it Jeff in Denver?  I can't remember, but I saved the link because it is the best article I've read along those lines:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ali-a-rizvi/atheists-death_b_4134439.html

I said I avoid posts so I DONT say anything hurtful. But no one speaks with certainty about God or the afterlife. No one really knows. You’re free to have your faith but you KNOW just as much as every other living person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   

Semantics DO matter...guess we have to agree to disagree, we're just coming from polar opposite perspectives. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Azipod   
12 hours ago, LoveGoli said:

Azipod, can you please share any medium name who do skype, I live in India.

Its Friday morning here, and I was thinking same about Weekend. Unfortunately we have long weekend this week due to local holiday, that means I have 3 days weekend and it really sucks. Before this , me and my husband were planning for this week to go somewhere even we were just booking our tickets but suddenly he got sick, this weekend reminding me about that trip which never happened.

Friday night is going to be hard and as you said , I know I will be alive on Saturday morning, laying on the bed and crying.

 

I will do some checking and let you know what I find out about the Mediums.

It's Friday here now.  I woke up today feeling like crap even before I got out of bed.  I woke up realizing that it's another nightmare.   As I got up and wandered around the house, I'm again reminded at how empty the house is with just me around.  I see all the things that we've created together in our home but it's only left for me to appreciate (which obviously I cannot at this time).   It didn't take long before I started to cry ... i started to cry even before I made it to the bathroom.       

This is so depressing and sad. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LoveGoli   
30 minutes ago, Azipod said:

I will do some checking and let you know what I find out about the Mediums.

It's Friday here now.  I woke up today feeling like crap even before I got out of bed.  I woke up realizing that it's another nightmare.   As I got up and wandered around the house, I'm again reminded at how empty the house is with just me around.  I see all the things that we've created together in our home but it's only left for me to appreciate (which obviously I cannot at this time).   It didn't take long before I started to cry ... i started to cry even before I made it to the bathroom.       

This is so depressing and sad. 

I am so sorry you are feeling this way and I don't have any words to give you some comfort. This is going to be my tomorrow morning and i am so sure about this because every Saturday he used to give me bed tea. Now no one here, no one with whom I will spend lazy Saturday morning, cuddling on bed till its breakfast time.

When we got married, we had nothing in our house not even a single thing. We bought every small to big thing and now he is not here and I left with all these stuff, sometime even if I see knife, spoon or any basic thing it makes me cry so I understand what you are feeling right now.

All I can say cry if you want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Azipod   
3 hours ago, LoveGoli said:

When we got married, we had nothing in our house not even a single thing. We bought every small to big thing and now he is not here and I left with all these stuff, sometime even if I see knife, spoon or any basic thing it makes me cry so I understand what you are feeling right now.

All I can say cry if you want.

We were just like you!   We didn't even having a dining table for over a year.   Now, we have everything.   Everything, except my wife.

My house feels so empty.  My life is so empty.   Everything feels hollow.  Time is at a standstill.   There is no purpose.    Being in the house, alone, still feels so surreal.   All of the hard work we've put in to make it ours, is done.    But now that it's done, where is my wife???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   
10 hours ago, KayC said:

PLEASE don't strike out at anyone here because of our faith.  We speak with certainty because we HAVE certainty.  It's something you can't make sense of intellectually or merely reason out if you haven't had that transformation, but it's real. It's as real to Francine and I as anyone living and breathing here. You are frustrated, understandably so, and we would never intend to push our beliefs on you, just because we make reference to them doesn't mean we're trying to force YOU into believing anything you don't.  Our beliefs are our choice, God himself doesn't force himself on us

Thank you for this! Your post is on point and my sentiments exactly.    We are all individuals, we are who we are; we like what we like and we believe in what we believe.  And you know what, that's OK.  Because I might disagree with others on this forum, doesn't mean I don't respect their beliefs.  While my beliefs may differ from theirs and they may not agree or understand them; it doesn't mean I am wrong, invalid or inappropriate.  I hope I am not judged when I set different limits than others do; that's the beauty of this forum; to respectfully disagree and not be criticized for it.    I know humanity has its flaws, but if we believe in honesty, compassion, understanding, empathy, treating others the way we want to be treated, helping those in need and loving one another, beliefs or not, we're on the right track.

On 9/28/2017 at 0:31 PM, Djh0901kc said:

Sometimes when I see posts about God they actually make me angry that people speak with such certainty even though they are really just as clueless as m

They shouldn't make you angry; and perhaps we are just as clueless as you; but for me, I'd rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't and die to find out out there is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Francine said:

Thank you for this! Your post is on point and my sentiments exactly.    We are all individuals, we are who we are; we like what we like and we believe in what we believe.  And you know what, that's OK.  Because I might disagree with others on this forum, doesn't mean I don't respect their beliefs.  While my beliefs may differ from theirs and they may not agree or understand them; it doesn't mean I am wrong, invalid or inappropriate.  I hope I am not judged when I set different limits than others do; that's the beauty of this forum; to respectfully disagree and not be criticized for it.    I know humanity has its flaws, but if we believe in honesty, compassion, understanding, empathy, treating others the way we want to be treated, helping those in need and loving one another, beliefs or not, we're on the right track.

They shouldn't make you angry; and perhaps we are just as clueless as you; but for me, I'd rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't and die to find out out there is.

Well sometimes they do make me angry. You can’t make a post discussing how you’re free to have your own beliefs and then tell me I can’t feel a certain way. You can all believe whatever you want. I hope I do someday as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I should say that I don’t think KayC tries to force her beliefs on anyone. When she discusses them she generally works it in subtlely so that it will help those who find comfort in it without clubbing them over the head. I find that to be ideal and I really appreciate it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Havent we all just experienced the most terrible pain there is? Havent we all realised how little importance everything else makes after our loved ones passing?

We all have to walk around, eat, work, drive, sleep with stabs in our hearts. And we share that here with others. We are the only ones to understand what it is like to get up from bed and know there is absolutely nothing exciting for us anymore. 

Our differences barely matters. Its our pain and trying harder and harder to exist that unites us. We need to focus on that! It doesnt matter if we are christian, jew, muslim, buddhist or an atheist. It doesnt matter if some of us believes our loved ones journey was complete while some of us believe they died untimely. It doesnt matter if some of us decides to move on and see others while others decide to wait to reunite. It doesnt matter because these are the different ways we cope with this terrible pain! We are all different. Our relationships were different. Of course we cope differently!

We need to focus on comforting each other and its OK to explain the things that have helped us on the way hoping it might help others. Noone can impose their beliefs onto others and I know none of the good people here would intentionally do that.

I am glad you guys are there to tell me there is light in the end although I have not seen it and I dont think I will any time soon. All I do is complain and feel terribly sad and angry and you guys are there trying to comfort when none of my family or friends are interested in doing that anymore. Xxx

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   
4 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

Well sometimes they do make me angry. You can’t make a post discussing how you’re free to have your own beliefs and then tell me I can’t feel a certain way. You can all believe whatever you want. I hope I do someday as well.

Okay, point taken. I guess I also choose not to accept responsibility for and worry about your anger, it's yours to deal with.  I just don't feel I have to be apologetic about my beliefs.  I am sorry that you feel such anger though.  Keep in mind, though, that this is a time when emotions run amok, everyone newly grieving IS sensitive, and sometimes can take things the wrong way, I know I surely experienced that in my first year of grief!  It's common.  I've seen discussions on forums where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because SOMEONE is going to take offense at what you say!  It's just how it is.  Easy to feel like you're walking on eggshells sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   
4 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

Well sometimes they do make me angry. You can’t make a post discussing how you’re free to have your own beliefs and then tell me I can’t feel a certain way. You can all believe whatever you want. I hope I do someday as well.

I never have nor will I ever tell a person how they can or cannot feel.  Their feelings are their feelings and they have a right to them; but I also have a right to mine and someday I too hope you do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   
3 hours ago, TooDevastated said:

Our differences barely matters. Its our pain and trying harder and harder to exist that unites us. We need to focus on that! It doesnt matter if we are christian, jew, muslim, buddhist or an atheist. It doesnt matter if some of us believes our loved ones journey was complete while some of us believe they died untimely. It doesnt matter if some of us decides to move on and see others while others decide to wait to reunite. It doesnt matter because these are the different ways we cope with this terrible pain! We are all different. Our relationships were different. Of course we cope differently!

Your post is spot on and so all that needs to be said.  Thank you for it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KMB   

TooDevastated--- I agree with Francine on your post. We are all going through the most traumatic loss of our lives here.  Individual faith, belief systems or no faith or belief is a personal choice. However each of us expresses words alluding to our personal choices, is only meant to bring a measure of whatever comfort we can provide each other here.

I do believe in God, but I also believe in the workings of Heaven, the next realm of life we go to from here. For this life here on earth, we require a dense, physical body, a shell to house our soul/spirit. We have to shed that physical body to transition to Heaven. We have a body there, but in spirit form, to accommodate the requirements of that form of existence.

What really matters is what we hold in our hearts to be true for ourselves. We need all the help and comfort we can get to see us through this agonizing, lonely journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, KayC said:

Okay, point taken. I guess I also choose not to accept responsibility for and worry about your anger, it's yours to deal with.  I just don't feel I have to be apologetic about my beliefs.  I am sorry that you feel such anger though.  Keep in mind, though, that this is a time when emotions run amok, everyone newly grieving IS sensitive, and sometimes can take things the wrong way, I know I surely experienced that in my first year of grief!  It's common.  I've seen discussions on forums where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because SOMEONE is going to take offense at what you say!  It's just how it is.  Easy to feel like you're walking on eggshells sometimes.

I never said anyone needed to apologize to me or worry about my anger. I said how I felt and I said about 50 times that everyone is free to believe in whatever they want. My post was about how I felt not how anyone else needed to change anything. I’ll leave it at that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   
7 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

You can’t make a post discussing how you’re free to have your own beliefs and then tell me I can’t feel a certain way.

Perhaps what you posted and what you meant to say was taken out of context and if you felt I was telling you that you can't feel a certain way, that simply was never the intent.  You have the right, just as we all do, to feel whatever you feel.  And as you indicated, we'll leave it at that!  Let's get back to why we're here in the first place, to uplift one another on this horrific journey. :)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

Thanks you guys. I’m really sorry for being a jerk

Youre not being a jerk! I don't think anyone here would ever think that.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   
4 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

Thanks you guys. I’m really sorry for being a jerk

My opinion of a jerk is someone who is rude, angry and tries to make other feel bad about themselves whenever the opportunity arises.  I don't sense nor get that from you and my guess is no one on this forum does either.  We're all just trying to get through this most difficult time in our lives. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   
20 hours ago, Djh0901kc said:

I never said anyone needed to apologize to me or worry about my anger. I said how I felt and I said about 50 times that everyone is free to believe in whatever they want. My post was about how I felt not how anyone else needed to change anything. I’ll leave it at that

I realize that, didn't think otherwise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/29/2017 at 2:25 PM, Azipod said:

My house feels so empty.  My life is so empty.   Everything feels hollow.  Time is at a standstill.   There is no purpose.    Being in the house, alone, still feels so surreal.   All of the hard work we've put in to make it ours, is done.    But now that it's done, where is my wife???

You summed it so up well...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Azipod   
On 9/28/2017 at 8:51 PM, LoveGoli said:

Azipod, can you please share any medium name who do skype, I live in India.

I am going to see her next month for an in-person ready.   Found her through a string of positive reviews.   Per her website, it looks like she does readings via Skype too.

https://www.angelichope.com/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KMB   
3 hours ago, Azipod said:

I am going to see her next month for an in-person

That is great! You have time to think about and write down the questions you want to ask. Also, have something to record the session. You can use the recording for your own comfort when you need it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×