Members toyota Posted September 25, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 25, 2017 I'm 71widowed and live alone in a rural area with my dog who loves me and I love her as much as someone could love a living being. Tumors have invaded her and I know what will have to be done. I don't know how I will get through this. Thoughts of my reactions are running through my head, some not good. How can I stay here alone? Maybe just sell the house to break even and leave or just let the bank have it and go. I just watch her and cry. My heart and mind is broken beyond belief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 25, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted September 25, 2017 toyota, I am sorry for what you and your dog are going through. I too am widowed and live with my dog and cat in the country. My cat is 21 and my dog is 9 1/2 (his breed lives to 9). He also has tumors but so far is doing well with them. I know that will change one day and I will be facing what you are now. I would say give it time before considering selling your home, you don't know how you'll feel when the time comes and your feelings can fluctuate. You may feel like getting rid of it one day and wanting to keep it as a shrine the next, that's how radically grief can bring about different feelings in us, and some of them even at the same time! I'm sure you realize that, having been widowed. If you do get rid of your house, try to do a quick sale at least rather than letting it go back to the bank because if the bank loses money on it, they file a form to the IRS and whatever they lose you have to pay taxes on that year! If they lose $30,000, you have to declare it as income at whatever bracket that puts you in. And the banks don't always go to the effort to sell it for the best deal, they just want rid of it. They might sell a house for less than it's worth just to be done with it. Before you make a move, perhaps visit a financial adviser. I relate to your feelings for my dog, I love my Arlie more than anything, he means the world to me. If there were such a thing as soulmates in a dog, he would be mine, he is the perfect dog for me, we've been through so much together on our journey. I am 65 and live alone since my husband died 12 years ago. I intend to get another dog when the time comes but don't expect I'll ever have another like my Arlie, he is truly one of a kind, I could never replace him but neither do I desire to live alone. I need someone to take care of, to interact with during the day, to care that I came home. I would fear for my thinking if I had to be totally totally alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted September 25, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 25, 2017 toyota, Your post tugged at my heart. My dog is 11 and has tumors. They are not cancerous though. Some breeds are more prone than others to fatty deposit tumors, especially in their senior years. My dog has one just above his rib cage and the other is on his opposite side on the abdomen wall area. I keep them monitored.He also has a small growth tumor on one of his lower eyelids. I had that one tested last winter and it is not cancerous. Dogs can live out their life span with these tumors.They only need to be removed if they get too large and make the dog uncomfortable or hinder movement. You didn't say if your dog's tumors are cancerous. I hope they are not. I also lost my husband last year and without my dog and cat, I do not know how I would have made it this far without them. We used to be our own little family of four, now we are three. I miss my husband so much and don't even want to think about losing my pets. My cat is 12 and she is healthy and hope she stays that way for many years. My dog's life span is between 12 to 15 years. I try to just keep my mind from going to a dark place and focus on enjoying the time I spend with my pets. KayC brought up some good points to you. Please do not worry yourself about selling your home or anything. We don't know what tomorrow may bring and worrying about the unknown just drives us more bonkers. Take each day as it comes. Hopefully your dog will be with you for a long time yet. Sending prayers to you for comfort and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 26, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted September 26, 2017 KMB, what kind of dog do you have? Mine is Golden Retriever/Siberian Husky. He got his personality and "Husky talk" , his markings, face, tail, legs from the Husky, and his tumors and cysts and barrel body from the Golden Retriever. I think his anxiety must have come from the Husky as well because my previous Golden Retriever was very calm. Arlie has a lot of cysts and tumors, just discovered another last night. Golden Retrievers live to nine, Huskies 10-12 years. I would be afraid to have him operated on because I'm afraid of anesthesia at his age (9 1/2) and if you open them up and they have cancer, it spreads. I had a friend that lost their two dogs that way, even with chemo, and they were just puppies. My cat is 21, in great health, gets around very well, going deaf a little bit but other than that you'd never know her age. She also has some cysts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KMB Posted September 26, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 26, 2017 Hi KayC, My dog is a cocker spaniel. One of the breeds prone to fatty deposit tumors. Last year, I had the vet do a full comprehensive lab panel. The full panel was a little more expensive but our previous cocker we had to have euthanized for kidney disease. Something else cockers are prone to. Anyway, my dog's panel came back clean. The fatty deposit tumors checked and they are just what they are. My dog has aged a lot since he lost his buddy, my husband. He is deaf now, which is heart breaking. A lot more grey hair. I can totally relate to the aging, except I'm not deaf yet. A neighbor who lives a mile away had a springer spaniel named Julius. The owner was calling him the bumpy dog. That poor pooch was covered with fatty deposit tumors. You couldn't pet him anywhere without feeling the tumors and cysts. He was euthanized last year due to severe arthritis in his hind legs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 27, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted September 27, 2017 It's so hard! I had a dog, Fluffy, that was Cocker Spaniel/American Eskimo. He was a wonderful family dog! He never got the tumors/cysts, but I do think his being blended helped a lot, and unfortunately he had an untimely death so didn't get to live to old age, so he might have had them had he lived longer. I love the Cocker's disposition, he seemed to favor that in his personality (my mom always had Cockers). I hope you have a long while yet with your dog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members toyota Posted September 29, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted September 29, 2017 Thank you for the kind words of support. The vet said it is a non-evasive form of cancer, whatever that means. My dog is feeling alright at the moment. She eats well and wants to play. I am coming to terms with all this, my son's and my sister understand, they have had to go through this also. This is my 2nd time. I'm going to put the house up for sale in October knowing it will take quite awhile to sell. Things are slow here. I think humans got the short end of the straw. Unlike other animals we seem to think ahead too much, worry about almost anything, even grief that hasn't come yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 30, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 Non evasive is good rather than filtrating cancer, In cancer, it describes disease that has not spread outside the tissue in which it began. Often this means it's a better candidate for surgical removal. I'm not sure selling the house is a great idea. The grief comes regardless of change of environment and it's a double edged sword. While you wouldn't deal with the memories associated with the house, neither would you have the comfort that comes from being in the place you were together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJWCat Posted September 30, 2017 Members Report Share Posted September 30, 2017 I am sorry to read about your dog - my heart goes out to you. Non-evasive is better than the alternative. You are going through a lot, I hope you are doing okay. It goes without saying but just enjoy each day w/ your dog - we all know that the end does come so we have to make the most of each day and try to live in the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 1, 2017 Moderators Report Share Posted October 1, 2017 18 hours ago, AJWCat said: just enjoy each day w/ your dog - we all know that the end does come so we have to make the most of each day and try to live in the moment. I have to remind myself of that frequently. My dog is full of cysts, and it scares me. I make sure to give him lots of belly rubs and walks, tell him how much I love him and what a good boy he is. That is the best we can do, make sure their time with us is the best it can be. And living in the moment is something I bring myself back to constantly. For one thing, I can't handle tomorrow, today is enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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