My heart is gone

[Mom2simba]

I need all the advice I can get please. On Monday myself, my husband and 2 kids held our cat Simba as his heart stopped beating. He was 17 and had kidney disease. He stopped eating and drinking. He gave me this look one night and it's like he was telling me to let go. I don't know how to explain it. I've never lost a pet of my own before this and the feeling of complete emptiness is horrible. I've had him my whole adult life - pretty much half my life actually. My kids seem fine now , they can talk about him and even getting another cat eventually. I can't even think of him without wanting to crumple to the ground. My chest is tight and hurts most of the day. I can't think straight at work and have to go to the bathroom and cry several times a day. I cry when I wake up, when I get home  and when I go to bed. I feel  like I'm trembling inside. I feel empty. I beg for him to come visit me I need to know he's okay. How long will this last? I hate this feeling. 

[AJWCat]

I am so so sorry for your loss. I literally have felt everything you are feeling exactly. And many people here from what I read do as well. Hard to say how long it will last. I am approaching 6 weeks after losing my sweet guy after having him 10 years and I am doing okay. But I will have a wave of grief that feels almost as bad as Day 1 all over. But I am not crying everyday. You just have to take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. Let yourself grieve and cry, it's all you can do. Just shows the depth of your love. It is so very hard when they are gone. It is an emotional and physical loss. Also, I will say that Simba had a peaceful passing at home with you all loving him. Please know you are very lucky for that. It does not make the pain easier but at least you had that.  

[Mom2simba]

Thank you. The unstoppable urge to cry does come in waves. I try to just take deep breaths and relax myself but it doesn't always help. I know one cat person so finding someone who truly understands is difficult. No one at work gets it. I've had him half my life. He's been with me through a lot of stuff. I am finding myself looking for him still in his usual spots when I walk through the house or being careful when I turn a certain corner because he lays there often. 

[MarvaMac]

Hey sweetie , I would like to say how deeply sorry I am for your loss ......I truly understand your deepest feelings for your fur baby just as much as I felt for my cat that passed away three months ago that will be tomorrow on the 22nd . Let me say that time only heals the hurt and the wounded.....what you're feeling is truly understandable and acceptable as I know it cause you are not alone my friend.... you have every right to grieve the way you need to get by by each day just like the rest of us on this site!!! I promise you that this too shall pass with each and every day that you wake up without your fur baby.....it will be difficult at times, but you will get better and stronger. Knowing your fur baby is now at peace without pain and agony and up there with my Rex as well as the other fur angels will get you through the days when you feel so hopeless, even though our babies aren't here with us physically, I truly believe they are with us spiritually when we least expect them to be......God has a beautiful way to show through the most unique and unusual ways that I can't explain, but you will definitely see one day.....please take care of yourself as well as your children....be strong and I will be praying for your strength. If you need to let out pain and anger, I...we ...will be right here if needed to be ....for you!!! That's for sure!!! Hang in there my friend , give yourself some time to heal....it will get better before you know it.

[KayC]

 

Mom2simba,

I lost my husband 12 years ago...we were more than just another married couple, we were soulmates, best friends, the love of each other's life, and I couldn't imagine living without him.  Since then I've lost a dog and several cats.  My animals have always been part of my family, they aren't "just a pet", they are everything to me.  It's hard, but you will get through this, the intensity of the pain will eventually lessen and hopefully one day you can help your kids pick out another cat.  Right now though it probably seems too hard for you, but I hope you'll leave your heart open for the future.  Your cat lived a long time, you gave him a good life, and I'm sure he is grateful.

I believe wholeheartedly that our pets go to heaven and we'll be together again.  Heaven is a place where there is no more pain, no tears, the perfect utopia.  No more bodies aging.  We get a new body and time is no more...what could be more wonderful than that!

[Maria9]

I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. All of us who are here have gone or are still going through this. Please be comforted by the thought that your kitty had a long wonderful life and you were with him till the end. I don't know how much the pain will last. I am still going through this too .But I know it will become less with time.  Let yourself cry as much as you feel ,the pain has to be expressed. You have to take it one day at a time. My heart hurts for you, about the absence, the emptiness,...I know....Please come here often to visit and write.  We are all together in this, we understand.