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Flintstone

How can I help my girlfriend through this time

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About a year ago, my girlfriend's younger sister was lost to an overdose. This has been a living nightmare for their family. I have done everything I can to be there for my girlfriend, who we can call "J". It seemed at the time that it happened, when there were arrangements and funerals, that I was able to be there for J and provide just the right support she needed. I have however noticed over the past year that she hardly talks about this loss or expresses sadness, which i I know she must be feeling. Now that we approach a year, she seems to be full of anger...I try to talk to and comfort her but we are arguing so much, and she is cursing at me and reacting in verbally aggressive ways that are not true to her nature. I have not experienced a loss like this. I want to be there for her, i try to understand and imagine how she may be feeling. What can I do to be more understanding and help her through this time? I fear our relationship will end if we cannot find a way through this time together, and this is my future wife. I know this is not the typical posting here, but I am desperate and just want to understand what I can do for her, if anything. Thank you so much. 

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Dear Flintstone,

I know you love your girlfriend a lot and doing everything you can to support her during this extremely difficult time. It is so hard. But I don't think there is anything you can do to "fix it." Grief is a long journey and there are many different phases. I would just say continue being there for her and let her know you are available to talk. I don't know if she is receptive to the idea, but maybe a grief counsellor, therapist or support group might be helpful. I also find these websites helpful in understanding the grief journey:

What's My Grief

The Grief Healing Blog

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Hello ! I’m read thru various posts here on the forum and wondered how your girlfriend is doing ? Did you find some helpful advice ? 

I am providing the link to a brochure we deliver to funeral home  . It is no cost or obligation . The information explains how each person grieves differently an offers a hope for a brighter future . 

You can also visit JW.ORG or myself for more information . 

With Deepest Condolences 

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