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Loss my mom... family heirlooms


fletch14

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I lost my mom six months ago, and it has been so hard in so many ways. I miss her every day so much it hurts.

Lately, something awkward came up in my family and I'm wondering how others have dealt with it. We have not gone through my mom's stuff yet.. as I don't think we are quite ready. But my brother wants to propose to his girlfriend and asked if he could use my mom's engagement ring.

This stung for many reasons. Obviously I know he has equal rights to the ring as I do... but it feels like I am losing another part of my mom. I am not married, and it would mean so much if I could use the ring someday. It feels weird to me that someone that is not her child (my brother's girlfriend) would have my mom's ring on her finger.

I let him know that this upsets me, and now he is upset. I don't really care about the ring or worth or anything... just the meaning behind it, and knowing it would be gone forever to someone that is not her child (but connected to my brother), makes me so sad.

Does anyone have experience with this kind of thing? I don't want to fight with my family over material items... but the sentiment behind the ring is really important to me.

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Fletch, I lost my mom about six months ago as well and I 100% agree with you. Your mothers engagement ring shouldn't be given as an engagement ring. That ring should go to someone in the family. I am the 7th child in my family and was given my mothers wedding ring which will be passed down to my daughter. 

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I feel that it should stay in the family bloodline as well. Difficult family times. I hardly think that he should give up speaking to you over this. Your Mother would not approve. She would want you to be a FAMILY. Hugs to you!

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