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Lost Little Brother in Tragic Car Accident

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I lost my 19 year old brother in a tragic car accident going on 4 weeks ago. He went to work that night, came home (he lived with my parents while he was going to school), got changed, gave my parents a big hug, and went to see his friends. He ended up at a party, where a girl he had an on-and-off thing for 2 years was with another guy. He was upset and tried to talk to her, eventually leaving the room she was in. She came downstairs and asked him "What the f*** are you still doing here?" He pounded a drink, grabbed his keys and tried to leave. One of his friends tried to stop him, but when my brother got angry, he got tunnel vision.

A quarter mile down the road, he crashed into a huge sycamore tree. The roads were terrible that night, just awful sheets of rain. The road was windy with tight turns. He had his drivers license for less than a year and he wasn't familiar with the roads. His car was my car too, a big 20 year old clunky station wagon. It feels like his fate was sealed when he decided to get into the car, with so much riding against him.

My brother was adopted, and came to our family 17 years to the day he died.

I am in so much pain but I am trying so hard to keep going. I worry so much for my parents. My dad seems to be doing ok but my mom is in so much pain. I have felt I have gotten signs from my brother. A few nights after he died, I  was sitting with my parents and I felt the presence of someone behind me. As I started to cry, my chest got warm and tight. My brother was known for his big, bone-crushing hugs. I haven't felt his physical presence since, but I felt like that hug was him saying goodbye.

Thank you so much for listening to my story. My brother meant so much to me and my family. I miss him so much and I look forward to sleep every night because sometimes I see and hear him in my dreams.

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Hi ElleMarie,


I am so sorry for you loss. I too lost my bother to car accident nearly 1 year 6 months ago now. The only thing we can do is go on, there will be ups and downs and the downs will sometimes be so painful and take you back to the day you found out of his passing. But all I can say is I know how you are feeling and your parents will need all the support. 

In the beginning I used to keep myself to myself, however I slowly found that talking to my mum about how I feel and how much I miss my brother not only helps me but also helps my mum tremendously. 

I am still trying to talk to my dad about his feeling however he tends to hide away and his emotions express as anger. 

That is amazing that you felt his presence, I wish I could - I really do hope some form of afterlife exists where we can reunite with our brother as this is probably the only thing that is keeping me sane. 

This site is a great source to express your feelings and also connect with others who are experiencing the same form of loss.


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Dear ElleMarie,

My deepest condolences and sympathies. I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its horribly painful time. Please know you are not alone. Keep expressing yourself and reaching out for support. There are many supports in the community and through church. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.

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