Jump to content
Online Grief Support, Help for Coping with Loss | Beyond Indigo Forums
  • Announcements

    • ModKonnie

      Advertisements   09/05/2017

      Hi all,  I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.  Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.  If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.  As always, we will be here with you, ModKonnie

Recommended Posts

KylieL   
12 hours ago, KayC said:

I hope you can find someplace to cry in peace because it's hard to hold it in and you need that release, but I understand how you don't want to in front of them, I think I'd do anything to not hear "you should move on".  I'm so glad my family has never said that to me, I couldn't be responsible for what I might say to them if they did!

I usually cry in the shower now, I can't cry in front of anyone. I cried once when my mom asked me about the future. I said I understand what she said about "moving on", but then she asked me "if you understand then why are you crying?" I laughed because from that moment I knew she will never understand. It's not about I understand, it's about if I can or not.

9 hours ago, Cela said:

Trying to think about what I may do for a possible 50+ years without my soulmate is crushing.

8 hours ago, Azipod said:

Our life, goals, and future are all shattered.    Honestly, the only future "plan" that just naturally comes to mind is remembering how terrible life will be without my wife.

So true. 50 years that I was supposed to be with him. And the future "plan" for me is spending my whole life missing that person I love.

6 hours ago, Ka9219 said:

I have to see it daily, my older sister, she has a nice a house, lives with his partner and has a beautiful baby, she is only 4 years older than me, so I wonder, why I couldn't experience the same she is living? Right now I am not sure about anything, my faith and believes are vanishing, but I still think and believe our souls are our immortal part and they had lived many lives in the past. I also wondered what I did so wrong to deserve this? 

I heard people talking about the new babies that my cousins have during the family dinner. One of them just married few months ago. I thought I would be the same, being married and having babies ... everything. I wonder if I did something bad in my past life too. All I want is a normal life like the others. Is it so hard for me to get one? I used to pray sometimes, and I prayed for safety for me and him every time, didn't ask for anything else because I can achieve most with effort. But then he was taken away, and that is the only thing that no matter how I work hard or put so much effort, I can never bring him back. 

7 hours ago, Ka9219 said:

it is funny because last time my mother was talking with my mother in law, she said she saw me as a daughter but she understands I have to "move on", it broke my heart, because I don't know what did she means with it; I won't NEVER move on, I might move forward, but it will be a process of years, and I want them to understand that Mario will be always part of me

I understand, my boyfriend's sister also told me that she and I have to "move on". Maybe it's because before my boyfriend died, he said he would be happy if I find a job and meet a new boyfriend. And she thinks I should become what he wants me to. But I can't. I even wonder why it's important for me to get a job when I don't even have a future anymore. I'm glad your mother in law saw you as a daughter. I think his family and friends treats me as stranger. 

7 hours ago, Ka9219 said:

It is really good you can listen to his voice, we used to talk by whatsapp during the day, and he was always sending voice messages, and I don't feel ready to listen his voice yet, I wish I could, so many of those voice messages says wonderful and sweet things. 

2 hours ago, LoveGoli said:

I also have his one recording he made during doctor visit, because that day I was not with him (I was suffering from chickenpox) and I told him to record whatever doctor say about your reports so that I don't miss anything.

I am glad he did, now I hear that recording whenever I want and his voice , I miss his soft voice

12 hours ago, KayC said:

Isn't that the truth!  Music was big to us, we had so many "our songs", we related to the love songs, ours was such a love story.  But it's too painful now, even still. 

I listen to the skype recording everyday. Even though I already remember all the conversations, I still smile when I hear the same funny things he said. While the songs, it's so much. He covered 30+ songs last year and most of them were meant for me. When I listen to it now, it's sweet but also bitter. It's painful that there will be no more songs, no more sweet conversations from him. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KylieL   
5 minutes ago, M88 said:

I think folk recognise and acknowledge only that we have lost our much loved life partners.  They can see our pain and aloneness in our eyes and on our faces, but don't see or don't want to see, the many 'secondary losses' that start kicking in soon after we've buried our loved ones.  And we really don't like talking about these, because we know it's likely they won't be understood and will perhaps be minimised.  From what I've experienced and picked up, siblings and adult children of the lost one have their own comfy lives and the secondary losses do not affect them.   But, the secondary losses have a huge impact on our lives.  

I agree with this. Most of them don't see the secondary losses, don't recognize there are more than just loneliness and sadness. Sometimes they try to avoid talking about something that make us sad (the loss) and bring up something that "brightens" our mood(future, plans ...). But they don't know we lost our future at the same day we lost our soulmate. The secondary losses hit us so much because our soulmate was our everything, not just part of our lives.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KMB   
13 hours ago, KylieL said:

I agree with this. Most of them don't see the secondary losses, don't recognize there are more than just loneliness and sadness. Sometimes they try to avoid talking about something that make us sad (the loss) and bring up something that "brightens" our mood(future, plans ...). But they don't know we lost our future at the same day we lost our soulmate. The secondary losses hit us so much because our soulmate was our everything, not just part of our lives.

I have been avoiding most people because of their opinions about what they think I should be doing. They are not in my shoes. Until they are, and they will be at some point, they should just not open their mouth.

I am sorry for your loss, Kylie. Our losses and this despicable, debilitating grieving can be so hard to handle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eagle-96   
On 9/4/2017 at 7:23 AM, KylieL said:

That's what I was thinking. My mom said she understands how I feel because she was once young too. But there's nothing to do with age. She never lost her partner, my dad is still here, being healthy. And then she tried to bring up my grandpa, who passed away last year, basically because he was too old to live and he died peacefully. How could it be compared to my love's death? I will never say things like "if dad dies, you will understand", but TBH she will never understand until that day comes. 

It is so true KylieL. Only those that have lost a soulmate can EVER understand our grief. NOBODY else gets it no matter how hard we try to make them understand. I could hold a class to explain this new life and no amount of lecture, study, or learning could ever prepare someone for this. It is so frustrating because most things in life can be taught or explained. Not this. Not what we endure every day. It breaks my heart to know that so many people in my life will go through this one day. That so many people I love will have their hearts torn out. To top it off, at a time when we need sympathy so badly, we get the opposite.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cela   
33 minutes ago, Eagle-96 said:

To top it off, at a time when we need sympathy so badly, we get the opposite.

Why do we think this is? 

Is it because people are afraid of our sadness and in their minds can't bear to think if it were to happen to them? 

Afraid to upset us by talking about our loves so they act like they never existed? 

I find it puzzling. We had a lot of friends. I'm at just over 2 months and while I still make small chat with a lot, a lot of distance now exists. Partly I'm to blame as I feel I can't relate to their lives anymore, but I wish some would come to my home and sit with me and allow me to share what I need or want to share. I don't know what I need, I don't know what to ask for, but I'm not ready to pretend that everything is fine yet so I don't seem particularly welcomed at social gatherings. 

I was actually part of a group message about a friends party over the weekend. I guess my one "friend" didn't realize I was part of the group thread as I had not responded to any of the messages and there were about 15 or so people involved. Anyway, she asked the group if they should invite me or not or if wanted to keep the party vibe up and further asked if they thought I would be mad if I wasn't invited. Almost immediately another friend who was the host chimed in and informed this person that I was invited and was on the thread and apologized on behalf of this other person. I simply exited the group message. The "friend" who had asked whether I should be invited has attempted to apologize and explain that she worded it poorly, etc. 

basically, I know I've included this long tangent but I think, at least for me, so many want to know "plans" because they want me to hurry up and be back to my previous fun self. I feel as if they want to ask how long I will be a grieving widow. When will I pull myself together and and be the old me? 

I find it all insensitive and horrible considering these people were OUR friends. Don't they miss my husband too? Didn't they love his friendship? 

It's different for them. They can't comprehend. And as I'm 25 and my husband was 32, our friends are similar ages. We shouldn't be even having to navigate these waters of losing spouses yet. They are all in the stage of marrying and starting families. Happy times and I'm a mood killer. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eagle-96   
3 hours ago, Cela said:

Why do we think this is? 

Is it because people are afraid of our sadness and in their minds can't bear to think if it were to happen to them? 

Afraid to upset us by talking about our loves so they act like they never existed? 

I find it puzzling. We had a lot of friends. I'm at just over 2 months and while I still make small chat with a lot, a lot of distance now exists. Partly I'm to blame as I feel I can't relate to their lives anymore, but I wish some would come to my home and sit with me and allow me to share what I need or want to share. I don't know what I need, I don't know what to ask for, but I'm not ready to pretend that everything is fine yet so I don't seem particularly welcomed at social gatherings. 

I was actually part of a group message about a friends party over the weekend. I guess my one "friend" didn't realize I was part of the group thread as I had not responded to any of the messages and there were about 15 or so people involved. Anyway, she asked the group if they should invite me or not or if wanted to keep the party vibe up and further asked if they thought I would be mad if I wasn't invited. Almost immediately another friend who was the host chimed in and informed this person that I was invited and was on the thread and apologized on behalf of this other person. I simply exited the group message. The "friend" who had asked whether I should be invited has attempted to apologize and explain that she worded it poorly, etc. 

basically, I know I've included this long tangent but I think, at least for me, so many want to know "plans" because they want me to hurry up and be back to my previous fun self. I feel as if they want to ask how long I will be a grieving widow. When will I pull myself together and and be the old me? 

I find it all insensitive and horrible considering these people were OUR friends. Don't they miss my husband too? Didn't they love his friendship? 

It's different for them. They can't comprehend. And as I'm 25 and my husband was 32, our friends are similar ages. We shouldn't be even having to navigate these waters of losing spouses yet. They are all in the stage of marrying and starting families. Happy times and I'm a mood killer. 

I think you've summed it up pretty well. We are the living reminder of the ultimate pain in life. People see us and think that there is a chance that they too may be in our position one day(they have a 50/50 chance). People don't want to think about death and when they see us, death becomes front of mind. When they are not around us, they can compartmentalize the thoughts and move on with their regularly scheduled lives. It's not fair, it just is. I am conscious of the fact that I might bring the room down sometimes just by my presence. So I try to be as positive and "happy" as I can be when I am invited because I don't want people to stop inviting me(I mean who wants to be around someone who is so sad all the time). I also know that people don't know how to act around us. They walk on eggshells around us and think that if they bring the name of our soulmate up we will suddenly start thinking about them. They just don't get the fact that we think about them all day every day. I am blessed to have very understanding friends and family who were very close to Lori too. I have been able to have very candid conversations with some of them about what my new life entails. I have learned the lessons from those on this forum that have gone before me and their advice has served me well. There are too many stories of friendships and family members lost for me not to apply the knowledge that has been bestowed upon me so graciously by members of this forum.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   

I agree, they see us and they're faced with their own demise or mortality and don't like looking at it.  They can't "fix" our situation and they don't know how to respond.  It makes them very uncomfortable so they disappear on us.  Well it makes US uncomfortable too, only we can't run from it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eagle-96   
24 minutes ago, KayC said:

I agree, they see us and they're faced with their own demise or mortality and don't like looking at it.  They can't "fix" our situation and they don't know how to respond.  It makes them very uncomfortable so they disappear on us.  Well it makes US uncomfortable too, only we can't run from it!

SO SO true. They are uncomfortable for a few minutes to a few hours. WE are in this position FOREVER. Any time they want to trade places they can call me up. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   
9 minutes ago, Eagle-96 said:

Any time they want to trade places they can call me up. 

No kidding!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cela   
2 hours ago, Eagle-96 said:

 I have learned the lessons from those on this forum that have gone before me and their advice has served me well. There are too many stories of friendships and family members lost for me not to apply the knowledge that has been bestowed upon me so graciously by members of this forum.

I have not been a member of this forum particularly long, but already find it so helpful to me.  I don't want to lose family or friends. I haven't intentionally pushed anybody away. I'd like to be included and I do feel sorry that by me existing as an individual now and not as a pair that I make this uncomfortableness. 

I guess I struggle with that most of my friends are engaged, soon to be engaged, or newly married. I think it's a tough time for me to be alone when they are literally starting the happiest periods of their lives, as should I have. 

@Eagle-96 what pieces of advice do you feel have best helped you maintain your relationships that you've learned from this forum? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eagle-96   
30 minutes ago, Cela said:

 

what pieces of advice do you feel have best helped you maintain your relationships that you've learned from this forum? 

1. Staying in touch with friends and family members is a two-way street. I have to remind myself that my phone also makes outbound calls and texts too. If I want to keep the relationships alive I have to make an effort. Mind you, I just don't have the energy or desire sometimes to do that but it is necessary if I want the relationships.

2. People(sometimes those you are closest to) say stupid things and when they do, it usually comes from good intentions but bad execution. Often they are the cliches and platitudes they think might be helpful to us but they just come out wrong("He/she is in a better place." , "They are not in pain anymore.", " They would want you to do that".) It's not their fault. They are just repeating things they think might help you. 

3. You discover who your real/true friends are during times like these. REMEMBER those people who are in your corner and hold tight to them. Those are the people to build/maintain the relationships with.

4. Take the time to check with your friends and family members who were close to your soulmate to see how they are dealing with this. I have to take a step back sometimes and remember that I am not the only one grieving Lori's death. She was a daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, daughter, sister-in-law, friend, etc... They are all grieving in their own way and one in which I cannot fully understand as I have not lost a friend, sister, aunt etc... I have to remember to take the time to REALLY ask how they are and be there for them through their grief. This also is a two-way street.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   

 

On 9/3/2017 at 2:07 AM, KylieL said:

What are your plans for the future?”

I don’t know. Last time I had so many plans, and it ended in disaster. I don’t know how to plan anymore. I don’t know how to plan without him.

I don't see a future for myself without my Charles.  Today marks the 9 month since he left this earth and all my plans, hopes and dreams went with him.  The hardest thing I've ever had to endure was loosing my Charles and the hardest thing I've ever done is to live everyday since that moment.  I'm always trying to fill the void, the emptiness and the loneliness that is left in my heart since he left.  I don't plan, don't expect; don't look forward to; don't hope for; don't look ahead to anything anymore. 

They say everyone deserves something that makes them look forward to tomorrow; and perhaps that's true, but where my mind is now,  my tomorrows are one day closer to being reunited with my Charles. My saving grace is my love and trust in God.  I know HE helped me get started and HE is going to help me finish. HE didn't bring me this far to leave me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   
21 hours ago, Eagle-96 said:

1. Staying in touch with friends and family members is a two-way street. I have to remind myself that my phone also makes outbound calls and texts too. If I want to keep the relationships alive I have to make an effort. Mind you, I just don't have the energy or desire sometimes to do that but it is necessary if I want the relationships.

2. People(sometimes those you are closest to) say stupid things and when they do, it usually comes from good intentions but bad execution. Often they are the cliches and platitudes they think might be helpful to us but they just come out wrong("He/she is in a better place." , "They are not in pain anymore.", " They would want you to do that".) It's not their fault. They are just repeating things they think might help you. 

3. You discover who your real/true friends are during times like these. REMEMBER those people who are in your corner and hold tight to them. Those are the people to build/maintain the relationships with.

4. Take the time to check with your friends and family members who were close to your soulmate to see how they are dealing with this. I have to take a step back sometimes and remember that I am not the only one grieving Lori's death. She was a daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, daughter, sister-in-law, friend, etc... They are all grieving in their own way and one in which I cannot fully understand as I have not lost a friend, sister, aunt etc... I have to remember to take the time to REALLY ask how they are and be there for them through their grief. This also is a two-way street.

Good advice!  I didn't get the opportunity to keep old friends, they disappeared immediately, not even attending his funeral!  These same suggestions can apply to family too, and I'm thankful my family aren't fair weather friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eagle-96   
31 minutes ago, KayC said:

Good advice!  I didn't get the opportunity to keep old friends, they disappeared immediately, not even attending his funeral!  These same suggestions can apply to family too, and I'm thankful my family aren't fair weather friends.

It's like the saying goes that what we do every day is "grief work". And that is exactly what we do every day. We work! This is a job, and a difficult one at that. The healing, the growth, the pain. It's ALL work. I have to work through the pain and despair I feel. I have to work to maintain the relationships that matter to me. I have to work to continue to be the person that Lori fell in love with AND the person she helped shape me into. I have to work some days to just get out of bed and perform the daily tasks that I once thought were so trivial and mundane. Everything we do, we have to work harder than ever before now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   

And I remember early in my grief when I first learned I was expected to "work" at my grief, I felt angry because I never asked for any of this to happen and all of a sudden all this is thrust upon me without provocation!

In time I realized I could work at it or not work at it, the choice was mine, but to give myself the very best chance for making it through this I needed to give it all I've got.  I no longer resent the work I've put into my grief, but I do understand the anger from new grievers, this is a huge thing to try to wrap your head around!  I now look at this as my calling and purpose.  I liked my previous life a whole lot better, of course, no comparison, but at least I've found some purpose in trying to help others going through the shrapnel like I have.  I think it's instinct to want to dodge the bullets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KMB   
On 9/6/2017 at 6:28 PM, Francine said:

 

 

I don't see a future for myself without my Charles.  Today marks the 9 month since he left this earth and all my plans, hopes and dreams went with him.  The hardest thing I've ever had to endure was loosing my Charles and the hardest thing I've ever done is to live everyday since that moment.  I'm always trying to fill the void, the emptiness and the loneliness that is left in my heart since he left.  I don't plan, don't expect; don't look forward to; don't hope for; don't look ahead to anything anymore. 

They say everyone deserves something that makes them look forward to tomorrow; and perhaps that's true, but where my mind is now,  my tomorrows are one day closer to being reunited with my Charles. My saving grace is my love and trust in God.  I know HE helped me get started and HE is going to help me finish. HE didn't bring me this far to leave me.

 

Ditto on your post, Francine. There is no where on this earth I want to go, or no motivation for doing anything. My husband and I shared everything and I just cannot see myself enjoying anything solo, or with one of the kids or a friend. Nothing will be enjoyable again without the one person I shared it all with. I know this is negative thinking, but hey, I didn't agree to losing my husband so soon and have my life shattered.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cela   
On 9/6/2017 at 3:17 PM, Eagle-96 said:

1. Staying in touch with friends and family members is a two-way street. I have to remind myself that my phone also makes outbound calls and texts too. If I want to keep the relationships alive I have to make an effort. Mind you, I just don't have the energy or desire sometimes to do that but it is necessary if I want the relationships.

2. People(sometimes those you are closest to) say stupid things and when they do, it usually comes from good intentions but bad execution. Often they are the cliches and platitudes they think might be helpful to us but they just come out wrong("He/she is in a better place." , "They are not in pain anymore.", " They would want you to do that".) It's not their fault. They are just repeating things they think might help you. 

3. You discover who your real/true friends are during times like these. REMEMBER those people who are in your corner and hold tight to them. Those are the people to build/maintain the relationships with.

4. Take the time to check with your friends and family members who were close to your soulmate to see how they are dealing with this. I have to take a step back sometimes and remember that I am not the only one grieving Lori's death. She was a daughter-in-law, sister, aunt, daughter, sister-in-law, friend, etc... They are all grieving in their own way and one in which I cannot fully understand as I have not lost a friend, sister, aunt etc... I have to remember to take the time to REALLY ask how they are and be there for them through their grief. This also is a two-way street.

Thank you for sharing this advice. I'm sorry it has taken me days to respond, although I did read it soon after it was posted. I am making more of an effort to reach out and remember it is a two-way street and I've actually had some positive experiences in the last few days. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Francine   

;

On 9/9/2017 at 8:54 PM, KMB said:

 My husband and I shared everything and I just cannot see myself enjoying anything solo, or with one of the kids or a friend. Nothing will be enjoyable again without the one person I shared it all with. I know this is negative thinking, but hey, I didn't agree to losing my husband so soon and have my life shattered.

It's uncanny how much alike our thinking is. There are three moments that I will never forget; the moment Charles and I met, the moment he made me his wife, and the moment he took his last breath.  I love him so much and there's not a single moment in the whole day when I don't miss him..  I'm the lucky one who knew him, who still loves him,  whose life will forever be divided into a before and after, because of him.    Sometimes the only reason why I am afraid of holding on to what is making me sad is because it was the one thing that made us happy.  It will be the little things that we remember; the quiet moments, their *Smiles*,their *Laughter*. I like to think that it will be the memories of these little things that will help push away the pain and bring some of the smiles back. Well, I hope so.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KMB   

Francine,  :wub:   My sentiments exactly.  I feel in my heart that if Ed were here in my shoes, he would be feeling and thinking the same as I do. His loss hurts so deeply.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Plans are tough. Everything changed when Rachel died. My future dreams and goals all revolved around her. I am trying to figure out what to do with myself. I think I want to go back to school.

I see a lot of friends of mine were just fair weather friends and not a lot of people talk to me. I try to make dinner plans or to go out for coffee, no one is really interested. I guess it's awkward or they don't know what to say to me. 

I think of how busy I would be on weekends with Rachel around this time of year because of the Renaissance Faire, it was as much work for me watching the kid, and driving around a lot as it was for her, but the quality time was worth it. Now I just sit around, play video games, binge watch feel good comedies, and sleep. I pull myself together enough for when I see Rachel's daughter and to show her a nice time. My work attendance has been erratic, I just want to sleep and not live in the present. My therapist told me to not allow Rachel's death ruin my life, as that will be apart of her legacy. I want to remember her for the good times and not my downfall. 

Plans though? Over 3 months since and I don't have any concrete plans. My mom wants the family to go on vacation together next year, i don't even want to discuss that. I'm not ready for plans beyond one day at a time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   

It's too soon, Rob, it's too much to expect you to make plans beyond today.  It's enough that you get out of bed at this point.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KylieL   

Today marks the third month since I lost my boyfriend. I feel the worst. There are so much going on lately. Everything makes my grief complicated. 

Yesterday my brother left a message saying he will be out of the country for a while, and he left. My mom and I went to his house immediately but he's already gone. I found his old phone, logged into his email, found out he went to Iraq. He said he will explain after he come back but without saying volunteering in what. My mom was so terrified, she kept asking whether she did anything wrong or raised us in the wrong way that both her children are being like this. I tried to tell her none of the events happened to us is her fault but she kept saying sorry to me and telling me that she don't want to lose us. This gave me the worst headache, I feel sorry that I can't find any words to comfort her. I know my mom loves me but I feel stressed from all of her words. I was scared too. I wanted to call my boyfriend to find comfort but then I realized he's dead. It's the worst. I'm grieving so hard and I can't handle things like these. Like last second I was writing my diary about how much I miss my boyfriend and how much I want to reunite with him, and then I found out my brother left his home. I feel so stressed from all of these.

I'm sorry this isn't really related to the topic but I don't know where to turn. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KayC   

Kylie,

Everything we go through is in relation to our losing them because we no longer have them to turn to, talk to, go through things with.  Whereas once you would have talked this over with your BF, now you find yourself alone in dealing with this, and just when you're already beyond your capacity!  Assure your mom you're still here with her and your brother made his decisions, it had no correlation to her, she has nothing to apologize for.  All you can do is trust your brother had his reasons and pray for his safety.  Is your brother in the service?  I remember when my son was in the Air Force all his friends were going overseas and he volunteered to because of survivor's guilt, wanting to do his part, but they wouldn't send him there, told him they needed him where he was.  I remember telling him that his getting killed wouldn't help his friends.  It's harsh, the whole thing, and complicated, but I pray for all our men over there, pray they'll come home safely, and now that includes your brother, whatever he is doing.  Sometimes they don't get a chance to explain beforehand.  Gosh, Kylie, I'm sorry, this is hard, and couldn't come at a worse time for you.  :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×